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IPv6Freely

Hockey Feels Like A Chore

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First things first, just to get it out of the way.  Have you been hit in the head recently.  Unexplained depression and lack of motivation is a symptom of a concussion.  You don't always have to have headaches to be concussed.

Moving on, to me it sounds like you need to find a new team and/or place/way to play.  The hockey isn't fun, and though you like the guys, that's not worth the time and effort you're investing.  You want to say it's not the losing, but it is.  You're trying to rationalize it to be nice.  The reality is your team isn't good enough to be competing in this league.  And the prospect of continuing to play uncompetitive hockey is bringing you down.  I get it.  I've been there.  In fact, I'm there now.  It's not your team's fault.  They're playing where they should be and the other teams have ringers.  Too many mistakes are being made, and too many games are being lost.  Getting motivated to show up and probably lose is hard.  Given the reactions of some of your teammates in your latest video, I'd say they might feel the same way.  Just go, man.  Play somewhere that doesn't have the pressure of having to win and maybe will help you start improving again.  Don't stay and be miserable because it's the nice thing to do.

 

Edited by psulion22

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Curious as to how this is going with the OP? And what did you end up doing? 

I had similar feelings going on last year.  It would start up close to the time I needed to leave for my league games and I would start thinking of reasons not to go.  I really enjoy my teammates and the ability to play, but I think my issue was the league I skate in.  There are only 3 other teams and I was sick of skating against the same goons every week.  Sure winning is definitely a better feeling than losing week in and out, but I was almost more worried about taking a cheap shot and being intentionally injured.  

I ended up taking last summer off and then the rest of the year just to give myself a break.  It worked out well for me at least.  Came back to my team after the beginning of the year felt a lot better about the game.  Still taking some time to get my game back, and  there’s  still a little apprehension on my end about getting out there against certain skaters, but at the end the day I’m glad to be skating again.  I definitely missed having a night out of the house with the boys! 

 Hope everything is working out for the OP. 

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On 12/10/2018 at 1:13 PM, IPv6Freely said:

I’m not having fun anymore. I don’t know where to go from here. I can’t even explain how I feel. Every game just feels like “why bother?” 

Aside from the obvious “just quit” answer, what the hell do I do?

I hope you are doing well now. I understand that there are some instances in our lives that doesn't make any sense but let's just hold on and believe that God is in control and we should find our hope and future in God alone, that will make life easier for us to live on. 

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On 3/3/2019 at 9:24 AM, voxyledbetter said:

Curious as to how this is going with the OP? And what did you end up doing? 

I had similar feelings going on last year.  It would start up close to the time I needed to leave for my league games and I would start thinking of reasons not to go.  I really enjoy my teammates and the ability to play, but I think my issue was the league I skate in.  There are only 3 other teams and I was sick of skating against the same goons every week.  Sure winning is definitely a better feeling than losing week in and out, but I was almost more worried about taking a cheap shot and being intentionally injured.  

I ended up taking last summer off and then the rest of the year just to give myself a break.  It worked out well for me at least.  Came back to my team after the beginning of the year felt a lot better about the game.  Still taking some time to get my game back, and  there’s  still a little apprehension on my end about getting out there against certain skaters, but at the end the day I’m glad to be skating again.  I definitely missed having a night out of the house with the boys! 

 Hope everything is working out for the OP. 

Well, I had considered taking a season off and that was BEFORE I had a meltdown in our last, completely meaningless, game of the season (an exhibition game because we weren't in the finals). That made it easy to just say I'm done after the game.

That was two weeks ago. I'm itching to get back on the ice. I'm already confirmed for this Sunday but I'm not sure how I feel about actually doing it. I actually am starting to think that having the "schedule my life AROUND beer league hockey" thing could be contributing to it. I mean, I always had a hard time understanding why people would say they're out for a game if they were in town. Like, "what could possibly be more important?" kind of reaction. Every week was a "I can't, I have hockey" type of thing for me. A HUGE part of that is that I'm the goalie. If I just choose to take a night off, I can't just click the "out" button in our app, I have to tell the captain and he has to find a replacement. I once flew home from South Africa, via a layover in the UK, and played the night I landed. I was in town so there was no reason to miss the game, right?

I also think I may be suffering from a bit of depression (is suffering the right word when you're describing yourself? It sounds so "poor me"...) I hate just about everyone and everything these days. 

 

On 3/4/2019 at 7:05 AM, beauty3450 said:

I hope you are doing well now. I understand that there are some instances in our lives that doesn't make any sense but let's just hold on and believe that God is in control and we should find our hope and future in God alone, that will make life easier for us to live on. 

lol wut

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I know it has been said before but maybe you need to get out of beer league.  I play pickup a few times a week and they are good skates where people work hard and hustle but nobody is trying to win the Cup.  Me and a buddy signed up for an adult skills class.  I have neen playing since I was a kid but took some time off and while most of the guys there are beginners, it is still fun because when do you get to go and do 1 1/2 hours of drills with other players?  And to top it off, I didnt know it when I signed up, it is run by probably the best skating coach in the area.

What about splurging for some private lessons with a local goalie coach or organizing a weekly invite-only pick-up game?

For me at this point I realize that at 45 I cant go like the 20 year olds but I am still I good physical shape and can move ok.  I want to take advantage of that so that I don't think at 55 or 60, “I wish I hadn’t wasted the past 15 years sitting on the couch.”

Just another thought for you. Having blowups on the ice isnt healthy but it is probably more the circumstances than the sport.

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1 hour ago, BenBreeg said:

I know it has been said before but maybe you need to get out of beer league.  I play pickup a few times a week and they are good skates where people work hard and hustle but nobody is trying to win the Cup.  Me and a buddy signed up for an adult skills class.  I have neen playing since I was a kid but took some time off and while most of the guys there are beginners, it is still fun because when do you get to go and do 1 1/2 hours of drills with other players?  And to top it off, I didnt know it when I signed up, it is run by probably the best skating coach in the area.

What about splurging for some private lessons with a local goalie coach or organizing a weekly invite-only pick-up game?

For me at this point I realize that at 45 I cant go like the 20 year olds but I am still I good physical shape and can move ok.  I want to take advantage of that so that I don't think at 55 or 60, “I wish I hadn’t wasted the past 15 years sitting on the couch.”

Just another thought for you. Having blowups on the ice isnt healthy but it is probably more the circumstances than the sport.

Piggy backing on this one....

I was playing in a league where it was nothing but irritating.  Me and a couple of buds started our own "league".  It has been the best thing I have ever done for my hockey "career".  We handpicked our group, so everyone is fun to skate with and there is literally zero garbage happening. We have good music blaring the entire game. I look forward to this skate every week way more than I do my normal league skate.

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On 4/11/2019 at 2:24 PM, IPv6Freely said:

Well, I had considered taking a season off and that was BEFORE I had a meltdown in our last, completely meaningless, game of the season (an exhibition game because we weren't in the finals). That made it easy to just say I'm done after the game.

That was two weeks ago. I'm itching to get back on the ice. I'm already confirmed for this Sunday but I'm not sure how I feel about actually doing it. I actually am starting to think that having the "schedule my life AROUND beer league hockey" thing could be contributing to it. I mean, I always had a hard time understanding why people would say they're out for a game if they were in town. Like, "what could possibly be more important?" kind of reaction. Every week was a "I can't, I have hockey" type of thing for me. A HUGE part of that is that I'm the goalie. If I just choose to take a night off, I can't just click the "out" button in our app, I have to tell the captain and he has to find a replacement. I once flew home from South Africa, via a layover in the UK, and played the night I landed. I was in town so there was no reason to miss the game, right?

I also think I may be suffering from a bit of depression (is suffering the right word when you're describing yourself? It sounds so "poor me"...) I hate just about everyone and everything these days. 

 

lol wut

Things change, 4/5 years ago I would skate on two Thursday teams and sub for two other teams on different days. If there was open floor time, I’d be there. Just not the same now. I still enjoy playing, but I don’t schedule life around it.  Might take a break again this summer, depending how the summer schedule is looking. Everyone’s situation is different, but you gotta do what’s right for you too. Good luck with everything! 

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Life is too short to spend your free time and discretionary income on something that you aren't enjoying. Take time away and if you get the itch then find somewhere else to play other than where it wasn't fun anymore. Remember, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

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On 4/19/2019 at 2:56 PM, chippa13 said:

Remember, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

This perfectly describes me practicing my dangles...

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On 4/11/2019 at 2:24 PM, IPv6Freely said:

Well, I had considered taking a season off and that was BEFORE I had a meltdown in our last, completely meaningless, game of the season (an exhibition game because we weren't in the finals). That made it easy to just say I'm done after the game.

That was two weeks ago. I'm itching to get back on the ice. I'm already confirmed for this Sunday but I'm not sure how I feel about actually doing it. I actually am starting to think that having the "schedule my life AROUND beer league hockey" thing could be contributing to it. I mean, I always had a hard time understanding why people would say they're out for a game if they were in town. Like, "what could possibly be more important?" kind of reaction. Every week was a "I can't, I have hockey" type of thing for me. A HUGE part of that is that I'm the goalie. If I just choose to take a night off, I can't just click the "out" button in our app, I have to tell the captain and he has to find a replacement. I once flew home from South Africa, via a layover in the UK, and played the night I landed. I was in town so there was no reason to miss the game, right?

I also think I may be suffering from a bit of depression (is suffering the right word when you're describing yourself? It sounds so "poor me"...) I hate just about everyone and everything these days. 

lol wut

Meaningless game? That's interesting. Our league has a schedule and when your team loses twice in the playoffs, you are eliminated. Also, they are stingy on ice time (and money) and wouldn't accidentally schedule a meaningless game, i.e. game to determine 3rd place.

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17 minutes ago, caveman27 said:

Meaningless game? That's interesting. Our league has a schedule and when your team loses twice in the playoffs, you are eliminated. Also, they are stingy on ice time (and money) and wouldn't accidentally schedule a meaningless game, i.e. game to determine 3rd place.

We're single elimination. There was no accident in scheduling. It's just an exhibition game. So we get 19 games (16+playoffs) regardless of whether we're eliminated in the first playoff game, or win the championship. Our league has a schedule too. 

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7 minutes ago, IPv6Freely said:

We're single elimination. There was no accident in scheduling. It's just an exhibition game. So we get 19 games (16+playoffs) regardless of whether we're eliminated in the first playoff game, or win the championship. Our league has a schedule too. 

Oh, every team has an exhibition game in your league?

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1 hour ago, caveman27 said:

Oh, every team has an exhibition game in your league?

Just the ones who have been eliminated from the playoffs. 

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9 hours ago, IPv6Freely said:

Well, there it is. I quit hockey tonight. So I guess that’s it. 

Take some time off. It might be good to step away for a bit. The good news is you can always come back 🙂 

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10 hours ago, IPv6Freely said:

Well, there it is. I quit hockey tonight. So I guess that’s it. 

Or maybe, you quit your team.

Sounds like, and I am assuming things, the issues from last year that you wrote about have not changed. Maybe you can just be available as a substitute, if your league does that kind of thing. 

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11 hours ago, IPv6Freely said:

Well, there it is. I quit hockey tonight. So I guess that’s it. 

What 

in 

the

f*cking

H. E. Double hockey sticks???

 

Take some time out. There is always just subbing for a team OR another team might reach out for a goaler

 

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4 hours ago, caveman27 said:

Or maybe, you quit your team.

Sounds like, and I am assuming things, the issues from last year that you wrote about have not changed. Maybe you can just be available as a substitute, if your league does that kind of thing. 

Well, yes I should have been more specific. I quit my team. Though, without any specific plan for moving to another team or finding a pickup to play in, it's the same difference for now at least. 

3 hours ago, Goonsquad said:

What 

in 

the

f*cking

H. E. Double hockey sticks???

 

Take some time out. There is always just subbing for a team OR another team might reach out for a goaler

 

I'll probably stick to pickups if anything at this point. At least people actually show up for those.

We had a roster of 22 (to be fair, that includes 'current' players as well as 'spares' that used to be on the team but don't play often and occasionally want to join us for a game), and we had four check-in last night. One of them didn't bother showing up. 4 in, 10 out, 8 no response (again, to be fair, the spares don't usually respond one way or the other). We snagged a bunch of guys from the previous game and lost 10-2. Captain has the idea in his head that we're fine as long as we have 7-8 lower skilled bodies, meanwhile we get destroyed by the teams made up of all upper skill (but still in the correct division) guys who can just pass it around until they score. 

Last game, I finished the game with dry hair. I'm not sure I got in my stance the entire game. Same problem, we had 5 show up and had a couple subs. The other team was playing with us. They had three subs from the league above and they didn't hold back. At one point they had a guy who skated around everybody on the ice, get right in on net, and turn back away from the net to try to find a pass. Like, at that point just put the damn puck in. It's almost more irritating when they toy with you. I'd rather lose 15-0 then have the game be "close" only because the other team allowed it to be.

Last night after goal #6 or so I was done, again. I made up my mind at that point that I was done. 

I absolutely dreaded going to my games by the end. Like, why even bother playing? We can't ice a team and I don't feel like continuing to drive an hour to get shelled every week. Forget it. 

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I had that feeling for the last 6 months or so that I played (August-December 2018), after a good 5 year run of playing all the time from about 2013-2018. I was forced to take a break when I moved and had a gear failure that I never repaired/ replaced, and am starting to get the itch to play again now. So yea, this 9 month break or so is having me feel reborn! (and thanks to @SkateWorksPNW, I am getting that piece of gear on Monday, gifted via the MSH brotherhood. About to go get my skates sharpened and shoot some pucks (dryland) at HockeyMonkey in a bit, figure I will be on the ice within a week.

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Sucks man but I just see this as others have mentioned: you're long overdue for a break. As someone who plays, officiates and coaches ice hockey, I've learned to not over extend myself. With officiating, I usually don't work hockey during the off-season. For playing, I'll skip games/pickup sessions if I'm not up to it. Even though you're a goalie, if you can't stand being with your team, then miss a game. Unless you're getting paid to play the game, you're not obligated to be there night in and night out. I've been fortunate that I haven't gotten to the point of calling it quits on hockey. And no should unless they are moving onto something better.

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On 12/10/2018 at 6:07 PM, Cavs019 said:

If people actually care about stats, wins, and losses in your beer league you’re in the wrong league or need to adjust your mindset. 

Play hard, don’t be an asshole, win or lose, have a few cold ones, then go to work the next day. Some people go to Barry’s Boot Camp or whatever the workout of the month is- we have the best sport in the world (physically and socially) to get our exercise. Try enjoying it for what it is and don’t take it for granted!

Ive never been like this. I dont really find most things fun unless im winning. I dont lose my shit if I lose, but I absolutely hate losing. More then anything.

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Kinda glad I’m not there. 
BFD234A3-5474-44E2-A818-C9DB3AF20D1E.thumb.jpeg.ec3fcfd92fa0b80e7738a2c0b424d1a3.jpeg

Not looking so good. Still have trouble getting people to show up. Usually 7 skaters, and looking at attendance the last couple games most of them are former rookie league guys (who therefore have decent skill but little experience) meanwhile the other teams continue to load up. It’s amazing to me that every single season the top goal scorers of the league are new guys that just joined the league - and none of them are ever on our team. 

Like I said, losing is one thing but getting blown up because a) nobody shows up and b) because all the other teams bring D4 guys down while we bring D6 guys up and it’s really hard to justify the drive every week. 

I honestly can’t say I miss it that much. I miss it in theory (and want some new pads!) but I think my league days may be over. May be sticking to pickups from now on. 

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14 minutes ago, IPv6Freely said:

Kinda glad I’m not there. 
BFD234A3-5474-44E2-A818-C9DB3AF20D1E.thumb.jpeg.ec3fcfd92fa0b80e7738a2c0b424d1a3.jpeg

Not looking so good. Still have trouble getting people to show up. Usually 7 skaters, and looking at attendance the last couple games most of them are former rookie league guys (who therefore have decent skill but little experience) meanwhile the other teams continue to load up. It’s amazing to me that every single season the top goal scorers of the league are new guys that just joined the league - and none of them are ever on our team. 

Like I said, losing is one thing but getting blown up because a) nobody shows up and b) because all the other teams bring D4 guys down while we bring D6 guys up and it’s really hard to justify the drive every week. 

I honestly can’t say I miss it that much. I miss it in theory (and want some new pads!) but I think my league days may be over. May be sticking to pickups from now on. 

The jerseys though!

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