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Chadd

The Venting Spot

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None of the schedule changes I wanted were granted. So I'm still scheduled to work the holiday weekend and up until midnight friday for summer jam.

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Friend's Fiancee Died yesterday after being hit by a car. 24, had a kid, they were 3 weeks away from their wedding.....world doesn't make one bit of sense sometimes

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Been having trouble sleep for quite some time now, plus all signs leading to sleep apnea. So I went ahead and tried to schedule a sleep study but my insurance mandated a dr visit first, to deem it "medically necessary."

So I went to my primary doctor, and they gave me a checkup. Not only did I gain 15 lb from the last time I saw him (right after my accident, have gained 25 lb in 1 yr) but my blood pressure clocked in at 156/116.

When we were talking about my thyroid medication (I had radioactive iodine treatment 16 yrs ago) I told him I was taking 125mcg. He said "What? You were supposed to be taking 250." What happened was that they don't make a 250mcg pill, so he wanted me to take 2 125mcg pills. I didn't pay attention to the instructions on the prescription as I had always taken ONE pill a day.

So, the short of it, the apnea, the blood pressure and weight gain is all caused by my hormone levels being off. So now I'm on a 12-week program to wean myself up to the correct dosage. It's going to suck, as right now I can feel my heart racing.

To continue with this, after calling 911 on my dad yesterday (looks like he has some sort of blockage) I went to my doctor because my blood pressure hasn't dropped down. After a EKG and blood pressure medication prescription, they want me to see a cardiologist. I am officially on the shelf for the time being, which means I will not participate in on-ice SummerJam activities next month.

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To continue with this, after calling 911 on my dad yesterday (looks like he has some sort of blockage) I went to my doctor because my blood pressure hasn't dropped down. After a EKG and blood pressure medication prescription, they want me to see a cardiologist. I am officially on the shelf for the time being, which means I will not participate in on-ice SummerJam activities next month.

Glad to hear you're on top of it. Too many folks get blindsided by serious health problems. Good luck with it; I'm sure you're reading all the instructions now.

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To continue with this, after calling 911 on my dad yesterday (looks like he has some sort of blockage) I went to my doctor because my blood pressure hasn't dropped down. After a EKG and blood pressure medication prescription, they want me to see a cardiologist. I am officially on the shelf for the time being, which means I will not participate in on-ice SummerJam activities next month.

Oh man, get well soon bro.

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Friend's Fiancee Died yesterday after being hit by a car. 24, had a kid, they were 3 weeks away from their wedding.....world doesn't make one bit of sense sometimes

All the best buddy, they're in my prayers.

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To continue with this, after calling 911 on my dad yesterday (looks like he has some sort of blockage) I went to my doctor because my blood pressure hasn't dropped down. After a EKG and blood pressure medication prescription, they want me to see a cardiologist. I am officially on the shelf for the time being, which means I will not participate in on-ice SummerJam activities next month.

bummer, was looking forward to it, but health first bud. good luck with everything, pops et al, and get better soon!

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To continue with this, after calling 911 on my dad yesterday (looks like he has some sort of blockage) I went to my doctor because my blood pressure hasn't dropped down. After a EKG and blood pressure medication prescription, they want me to see a cardiologist. I am officially on the shelf for the time being, which means I will not participate in on-ice SummerJam activities next month.

You and your dad are in my prayers! I am sure one of the Dr.'s have mentioned to you that getting less than 8 hours sleep can drastically elevate your blood pressure. Plus, each night without good sleep will add up on the BP. SO hopefully that has a big part to do with it.

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To continue with this, after calling 911 on my dad yesterday (looks like he has some sort of blockage) I went to my doctor because my blood pressure hasn't dropped down. After a EKG and blood pressure medication prescription, they want me to see a cardiologist. I am officially on the shelf for the time being, which means I will not participate in on-ice SummerJam activities next month.

JR, if you haven't already done so, push for the sleep apnea testing. I was diagnozed with sleep apnea at the end of last summer and have been using a CPAP mask ever since. This alone may help lowering your blood pressure. Not saying it will go down to healthy levels with that alone but it does help and sleep apnea CAN be one of the many causes associated to high blood pressure. I'm sure you are aware by now that you need to limit your sodium intake as well as losing weight. If you can control your sleep apnea, it will be easier to lose weight too as you'll have more energy throughout the day and will potentially eat less too. My blood pressure was at 146 over 110 last November and I was a fat ass. The doctor wanted to prescribe high blood pressure medicine and I asked for an alternative, which was to lose weight. I lost 44 pounds since and my blood pressure, last I checked was down to 130 over 90 (I was weighing 327 by the way). A few changes to your lifestyle will go a long way and who knows, you may even be ready on time for Summer Jam.

Try staying active too even if it means only light exercises like walking etc. This helps lowering blood pressure as well and will help you shed a few pounds over time.

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Best luck JR, we're all pulling for you.

Anyone ever get overwhelming feelings of nostalgia, desire, longingness, and loneliness when thinking back to an ex gf? My first, and only, true gf and I broke up years ago (4, yes, years ago) but I've struggled ever since trying to adapt my life in a way where thoughts, feelings, or memories of her and I won't flood my mind and ruin my day. The worst part is facebook, I always see her in photos and she looks happy and shes out having good times and I see her with other guys and, to be honest, it makes me want to put a bullet through my head, but want her back even more at the same time. It's not that I lead a boring or depressing life, I just think the best way to sum it up is that whatever it is I'm doing I always seem to look in the rear view mirror of my brain and imagine how much better it could be.

We dated when I was a sophomore in college, she was a junior in HS. Sketch, I know. Everything was awesome, but to make a long and really depressing story short I started drinking that year of college and going to parties and made mistakes with other girls. When wind of this comes back around I end up on the curb alone. For two or three years (it might even be four, not sure how I feel about it to this day) I murdered myself internally everyday for breaking someone's heart so badly. For betraying her trust, for the lies that came out of my mouth, everything that comes with hooking up with someone else and then trying to cover your tracks. Even to this day I get violent pains if I sit around and, for lack of a better term, day-dream about how everything fell apart.

Her and I still live in the same area, except when she goes away to school. There are times we will talk everyday texting, but there are equal times where I will send a text and fret for the rest of the night until I give up and go to bed with all my hopes foregone. It truly is a sad state of affairs some nights. I stalked her so much that I defriended her (sorry to lose anyone not familiar with FB at this point) because I was pissing away my life looking at her profile and seeing pictures that would make me jealous, guys "writing on her wall", etc. etc. Again, sad state of affairs. While that has helped some, it has not changed the longing, the palpable desire to go out and start everything all over again with her.

Before anyone tabs me as crazy (don't worry because I do already) the girl in question plays the role pretty well. When she is home for the summer we will go out drinking at the bar or her and I will chill at my apartment or one of our mutual friends', things along those lines. So she does give me hope, she does offer me a (albiet small) reason to keep trying. But sometimes I just think she is fishing, ready to catch and release when we get too close.

I'm twenty-four now. I'm far removed from the nineteen year old boy who dated this girl. But my heart isn't.

I started playing hockey again almost immediately after the break-up. I spent ten hours a week on the ice working on my game. I've gotten far better than even I thought I would, I used to be a plug in HS. Exceeded expectations in every way. Hockey literally is an escape, I treat it as such because it gives me a sense of superiority, and the more I realize I think many of the people I skate with (pick-up) despise me for it, but it's an outlet of frustration, anger, and self-hatred. Big ups to MSH, I joined the summer after we broke-up, and mining myself into another passion of mine, gear, ice, the sport itself is a seriously welcome respite from everything. I hope everyone knows how much of a solace it is to sign on and see someone quoting me in a thread or responding to a question of mine. It seriously makes me happy.

The more I've forced myself to look at the situation the more I realize that parts of my emoting aren't under my control. As a Type 1 Diabetic (WOOT!) my emotions can get pretty out of control, especially when my blood-sugar is too high. Having your blood sugar fluctuate can really bring on a roller coaster of emotions, from the highest peaks to the saddest lows. I've decided to keep trying to get better at managing my blood sugars because not only is it important for my day-to-day life, but hopefully, to keep myself from getting to out of control thinking about Janna (yes, I name dropped her).

When we first broke-up I was so sure that, someday, eventually, we would get back together. I would sit in my parents basement (summer after college) and sulk, but took solace, HEY, she's going to get back with ME. HEY, she loves ME. This thought dies little by little with each passing day, all some-one-thousand of them.

I still go out, I lead a normal life, I even hit on girls and try and flirt with the ones out of my league, haha. It helps, but whether or not I get their number or what have you, every time my phone text chirps, I take a quarter second before looking because I enjoy the feeling I get, "Maybe this is Janna". I take a breath and look, it's not (it's usually no1 drft pck), and then the process starts all over again.

Edited by interpathway

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Try speaking with a doctor or psychiatrist they will prescribe you with some good antidepressants that will really help your cause. You have to realize that you're not crazy, people go through the same feelings as you everyday. Make an appointment with a psychiatrist, it will really help your cause.

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There's nothing wrong with having fond feelings for someone you dated, there is something wrong with obsessing over them. Doubly so when it was your first. In this case, I would suggest cutting ties and moving on. You need to have other relationships and experiences in order to continue your personal growth. If you're not able to cope on your own, then give what Bigdmack suggested a shot. Just realize that very, very few relationships from that age last for very long. People change as they grow older and very few couples are able to change together, hence the growing apart thing most people go through.

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I'll just add that before you go the anti-depressant route, try working with a therapist. In these kinds of cases, I believe that prescription drugs should be the last resort and not the first.

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Thanks for the responses guys.

I really hope having to take drugs isn't the answer, there's been enough times I've zoned out (it does help), but perhaps a doctor prescribed one for this instance would be a better bet.

Cutting ties just seems like the saddest thing in the world, Chadd. I hate growing up.

Edited by interpathway

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I'll just add that before you go the anti-depressant route, try working with a therapist. In these kinds of cases, I believe that prescription drugs should be the last resort and not the first.

I couldn't agree more

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Best luck JR, we're all pulling for you.

Anyone ever get overwhelming feelings of nostalgia, desire, longingness, and loneliness when thinking back to an ex gf? My first, and only, true gf and I broke up years ago (4, yes, years ago) but I've struggled ever since trying to adapt my life in a way where thoughts, feelings, or memories of her and I won't flood my mind and ruin my day. The worst part is facebook, I always see her in photos and she looks happy and shes out having good times and I see her with other guys and, to be honest, it makes me want to put a bullet through my head, but want her back even more at the same time. It's not that I lead a boring or depressing life, I just think the best way to sum it up is that whatever it is I'm doing I always seem to look in the rear view mirror of my brain and imagine how much better it could be.

We dated when I was a sophomore in college, she was a junior in HS. Sketch, I know. Everything was awesome, but to make a long and really depressing story short I started drinking that year of college and going to parties and made mistakes with other girls. When wind of this comes back around I end up on the curb alone. For two or three years (it might even be four, not sure how I feel about it to this day) I murdered myself internally everyday for breaking someone's heart so badly. For betraying her trust, for the lies that came out of my mouth, everything that comes with hooking up with someone else and then trying to cover your tracks. Even to this day I get violent pains if I sit around and, for lack of a better term, day-dream about how everything fell apart.

Her and I still live in the same area, except when she goes away to school. There are times we will talk everyday texting, but there are equal times where I will send a text and fret for the rest of the night until I give up and go to bed with all my hopes foregone. It truly is a sad state of affairs some nights. I stalked her so much that I defriended her (sorry to lose anyone not familiar with FB at this point) because I was pissing away my life looking at her profile and seeing pictures that would make me jealous, guys "writing on her wall", etc. etc. Again, sad state of affairs. While that has helped some, it has not changed the longing, the palpable desire to go out and start everything all over again with her.

Before anyone tabs me as crazy (don't worry because I do already) the girl in question plays the role pretty well. When she is home for the summer we will go out drinking at the bar or her and I will chill at my apartment or one of our mutual friends', things along those lines. So she does give me hope, she does offer me a (albiet small) reason to keep trying. But sometimes I just think she is fishing, ready to catch and release when we get too close.

I'm twenty-four now. I'm far removed from the nineteen year old boy who dated this girl. But my heart isn't.

I started playing hockey again almost immediately after the break-up. I spent ten hours a week on the ice working on my game. I've gotten far better than even I thought I would, I used to be a plug in HS. Exceeded expectations in every way. Hockey literally is an escape, I treat it as such because it gives me a sense of superiority, and the more I realize I think many of the people I skate with (pick-up) despise me for it, but it's an outlet of frustration, anger, and self-hatred. Big ups to MSH, I joined the summer after we broke-up, and mining myself into another passion of mine, gear, ice, the sport itself is a seriously welcome respite from everything. I hope everyone knows how much of a solace it is to sign on and see someone quoting me in a thread or responding to a question of mine. It seriously makes me happy.

The more I've forced myself to look at the situation the more I realize that parts of my emoting aren't under my control. As a Type 1 Diabetic (WOOT!) my emotions can get pretty out of control, especially when my blood-sugar is too high. Having your blood sugar fluctuate can really bring on a roller coaster of emotions, from the highest peaks to the saddest lows. I've decided to keep trying to get better at managing my blood sugars because not only is it important for my day-to-day life, but hopefully, to keep myself from getting to out of control thinking about Janna (yes, I name dropped her).

When we first broke-up I was so sure that, someday, eventually, we would get back together. I would sit in my parents basement (summer after college) and sulk, but took solace, HEY, she's going to get back with ME. HEY, she loves ME. This thought dies little by little with each passing day, all some-one-thousand of them.

I still go out, I lead a normal life, I even hit on girls and try and flirt with the ones out of my league, haha. It helps, but whether or not I get their number or what have you, every time my phone text chirps, I take a quarter second before looking because I enjoy the feeling I get, "Maybe this is Janna". I take a breath and look, it's not (it's usually no1 drft pck), and then the process starts all over again.

Bro, I was in your EXACT situation. Diabetes and all. It took me a long time to get over my ex. Almost 10 years. I look back at it now realizing that it shouldn't have taken that long. I wish I could go back and just get over it. Don't waste your precious time thinking about the past. Especially if it's over an old flame. If she comes back to you then that's great. Just live your life and let your path fall into place. You'll be so much happier. Believe me.... you'll be happier. Good luck with everything. You'll be ok.

Edited by 5 Minute Major

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I think I found a new best friend. Haha.

edit: Thanks everybody. I know it'll be a long process, that should've started long ago, but I think I'm about ready to start seriously changing my habits to avoid any and all confrontation with things related to the past. I just hope I make it, I've certainly started trying before, but this time I feel like I'm just much more ready to try.

Edited by interpathway

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