Ever feel under-valued on your team?

[Apes44 7]

I've been told that's one of the biggest issues in coaching now.

It's becoming a large-scale management problem in corporations as well.

I used to be a staffing manager and the new grads that would come in to interview, just blew me away. It was that problem that they had been conditioned that they were owed everything and their feelings and all that! I can’t tell you how many times I had a 21-22 year old fresh out of college come in and say I'm not looking for anything less than $80k per year, then I had to politely explain that people in these positions with years of experience weren’t even getting that! And they would look at me in all seriousness and go well I deserve that because I went to college…at that point it was the ole “thanks for taking the time to meet with me today” and they wondered why they never got called! It’s the everyone gets a participation trophy, I feel old saying this but when I was little, if you wanted a trophy you had to earn one by winning it, not showing up!

The teams I've liked the best, the policy was, if it's your shift next, you take the shift.

We also had a policy where if we went to a shootout, we went down the whole roster (over multiple games) before anyone repeated. One (playoff) game for a team I captained, we went 14 skaters -- the entire roster plus one -- before the game ended. It was awesome.

We're there to play and have fun, not to win at all costs. It's fun to take a shootout chance, it's cool to be out on a 3 on 5 or have a chance to be the sixth skater. These are not things you should be denied in rec league hockey for the sake of winning, in my view. After all, if not then, when?

Can I ask where you fell on those teams? The teams I've played on that operated that way the higher skilled players all ended up leaving or contstantly complaing to the guys who ran the team, because getting your teeth handed to you every game isnt fun. And thats where I was saying work hard to get to that point where you're team wants you out there on those chances. Nothing personal just my opionion based on my experiences.

[Chadd 916]

Ideally.

You have to be careful with kids. They need to know what they're doing wrong, and that not everything they do is special. There's nothing wrong with a pat on the back for a job well done, but we're a little too careful nowadays trying not to hurt feelings.

It really screws these kids up later in life when they realize everything they shit isn't solid gold like they were told it was.

I agree completely, but that's the extreme case. In any case, kicking ass with the golden child isn't going to solve anything. As a coach, you can't fix bad parenting if you expect to finish the season.

Can I ask where you fell on those teams? The teams I've played on that operated that way the higher skilled players all ended up leaving or contstantly complaing to the guys who ran the team, because getting your teeth handed to you every game isnt fun. And thats where I was saying work hard to get to that point where you're team wants you out there on those chances. Nothing personal just my opionion based on my experiences.

For the most part, we try to put together teams where guys are fairly equal in talent. Or at least we don't have huge gaps from one to the next. Sure, some are better offensively or defensively, skate better or shoot harder, but having a smaller gap from top to bottom makes it a lot easier to roll your lines. Everyone paid the same amount, everyone should get roughly the same ice time.

[nexusrage21 1]

I play on two teams regularly, and I find the team that needs me more is less appreciative than the team that doesn't. It's is kind of funny, but it's also the kind of team where we have a "first line" who always take long shifts and make sure they jump out for powerplays and the like.

[tareatingrat 4]

I've been told that's one of the biggest issues in coaching now.

It's becoming a large-scale management problem in corporations as well.

I see it every day in the classroom. I wish I could fix the problem, but when parents complain to the principal, well, we all know what flows downhill and in my experience, you never win that battle. No parent wants to hear that their kid isn't good at something, but they used to accept it. Not so much nowadays.

I agree completely, but that's the extreme case. In any case, kicking ass with the golden child isn't going to solve anything. As a coach, you can't fix bad parenting if you expect to finish the season.

I wasn't disagreeing with how you handled things at all. Case-by-case makes total sense, and like you said, different circumstances call for different reactions.

As for the original topic, I just don't understand the need for validation. I know guys who brag about their stats and everything they've done. It just seems so insecure. Sure, I pay attention to stats and whatnot, but I really only do it so I can compare it to my past performance. I want to see that I'm improving, not that I care if anybody else knows.

There's something to be said for being humble. If you're playing good, tell 'em you got lucky. If you're playing bad, own up to it. If you give an honest effort and are humble about what you do, regardless of you're role on the team, you'll be "valued."

[mug25 2]

Guess my self-pity turned into productivity. Scored a nice goal today — only one we scored the entire game. Got props from both teams about it. Some family came to watch me play for the first time in a while and told me that I've really improved.

For me, I don't like to brag. I do however want to know that all of the hard work I'm doing has made me improve. With the amount of time I have, I work pretty hard to improve on the ice. I play 2-3 nights a week, I weight train and watch videos online but there are always things that others see that I don't necessarily see myself, for instance...that whole "in the right place at the right time" thing. Positioning, hustling etc., It's good to hear that I've improved. It makes the hard work seem worth it.

On the other hand, I also really value criticism when I mess up. We have one guy on our team who recently became my line mate. When I screw up or don't make the right play, he tells me when I get to the bench. The next time I go out, it's in my head of what to do and I correct the mistake.