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Drewhunz

Mitch Hedberg Died

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Mitch Hedberg died today. He was one of the funniest comedians that I ever had the opprotunity to see. His jokes were pretty good, but it was his timing and "out there" persona that made him truly shine. He did a special for Comedy Central, so watch it if you get the chance. RIP

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Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load sh*t into a truck

got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.

I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here.

I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall

Pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold there soul to the devil, and the devil was dill.

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means...it's dirty

At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick."

My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! F*ck. Seven. I need more dice."

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too

The thing about tennis is: no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're f*in relentless

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something

I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy

I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed

Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "...Here's a picture of me when I'm older." Where'd you get that camera man?

Sorry for all the qoutes, this man is just to dam funny, Im sure guna miss him

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The thing about tennis is: no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're f*in relentless

LOL, sounds like a funny guy. That sucks though..

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