how to make a girl friend?

[oggy_3 0]

Flirt, flirt, flirt and flirt some more. Who really cares if you crash and burn?

That's so true.

When I had my first girlfriend, I learned that I was much more flirtatious when I was in a committed relationship, since it didn't matter to me what the girl thought -- I was just flirting. However, it turned out that most women responded positively to the flirting. If you think about it, I was paying attention to them and I came across as confident, since I was saying things that I probably wouldn't have said if I was worried about turning the girl off.

So learn how to flirt, which is often just gentle teasing, and do it when it flows naturally. Someone mentioned just walking up to a girl and asking what's she's drinking. Everybody's different, but I never liked that, because you're putting yourself on audition; i.e., I'll give you twenty seconds to impress me. However, if you have the opportunity to see the girl in a less forced setting, a flirtatious comment might easily flow out of the circumstances.

I find if there drinking and just come up say hi ask what there name is where there from and jsut go from there, its all about the flow of the conversation and as lnog as there is no dull points

[shifter 0]

you dont always need a girl :D you can always just pimp around and enjoy yourself!

[bdj 0]

I'm rockin the single life right now, gotta tell ya im liking it.

[LkptTiger 1]

Flirt, flirt, flirt and flirt some more. Who really cares if you crash and burn?

That's so true.

When I had my first girlfriend, I learned that I was much more flirtatious when I was in a committed relationship, since it didn't matter to me what the girl thought -- I was just flirting. However, it turned out that most women responded positively to the flirting. If you think about it, I was paying attention to them and I came across as confident, since I was saying things that I probably wouldn't have said if I was worried about turning the girl off.

So learn how to flirt, which is often just gentle teasing, and do it when it flows naturally. Someone mentioned just walking up to a girl and asking what's she's drinking. Everybody's different, but I never liked that, because you're putting yourself on audition; i.e., I'll give you twenty seconds to impress me. However, if you have the opportunity to see the girl in a less forced setting, a flirtatious comment might easily flow out of the circumstances.

I find if there drinking and just come up say hi ask what there name is where there from and jsut go from there, its all about the flow of the conversation and as lnog as there is no dull points

It's pretty obvious what you're going after there, and there is a good chance that conversation will end-up being forced (at least on your end).

If that's your only option, go for it, dude. But I usually try to think things out a little better so I can initiate contact without necessarily being your typical "male seeking tail." A lot of girls will shut right down if you just throw yourself at them.

Then again, if they are alone at a bar, they're probably looking for something to go home with, anyways...so that might work. I suppose I really wouldn't know - I'm not one for the bar scene.

I try to strike a simple, relevant conversation (on a topic worth talking about..."Hey, what are you drinking?" just screams "Yeah, that's the best opener I could come-up with. Sorry."). This keeps the conversation friendlier, looser and it allows for a more natural progression from "acquaintance" to "someone I might be interested in."

[D-MaN88 0]

Not to thread-jack but I have a question for all the guys here. I was getting ready for work yesterday and one of my good friend's sister that I know texts me and says that her best friend had visible proof that she saw my gf kiss another guy yesterday. So I say okay, first think about the source and two, try and find out more. Then I start hearing from more and more people she's been friends with lately and they start saying the same thing, that her and the other guy have kissed more than once and that you know supposably she's going around telling everyone that me and her have been broken up and that the her and the other guy are now together. EDIT: To add a little bit more substance, she's started acting weird around me and towards me ever since she started hanging out with these new people. I don't know if that has something to do with it or not. But yes, the background info was just a little more on how she's been acting around her new "friends" to give this a little bit more substance. (Back to what happened...continue on)

So last night I confronted her about everything I know even showing her the texts and giving her names of the people telling me this. She denies it all, gets all shitty with me and just says it's stupid and doesn't want to talk about it.

Unfortunately, the bad thing is, I've been with this girl for close to 2 and half years and so this is really hard for me to think about her just randomly "cheating" on me.

Depending on what sources you would have (good friends of hers, friends of yours that you wouldn't think would lie) telling you all this information would you believe your gf or would you believe the crowd of people telling you that she has moved on and that it really happened?

And for those wondering, I ended it until further notice last night. She supposably wants to go out tomorrow night and talk about everything over dinner. I don't know what I should do though and I guess I'm just looking for some outside advice rather than from friends that are telling me to get back at her with her friends, etc...lol

If anyone could just give me some pointers on what to do that have been in this situation or what I could do to possibly find out more please post because this is just all really confusing and a lot at one time to try and figure out.

Thanks in advance.

[LkptTiger 1]

Why not confront this other guy?

[Fire0nIce228 1]

I say go out and talk with her. However, whether she denies it, or says its true you will have a decision to make (that is, if she says she wants to be with you either way).

It is EXTREMELY difficult to trust someone or be with someone that has admitted to cheating on you. It happened to me last fall my girl kissed a guy at her school and told me about it. We tried to be together still but it was really weird and wasn't the same, annnd two and half weeks later she kissed the same guy again. That fucking bitch. However its been a year and her and that guy are still dating, so I guess thats good for her. I still hate her.

Annnnnnnnyways (im not bitter) even if she says she didn't, its going to be weird for awhile between you guys. Thing is, if she says she did it, or didn't, if you guys want to be together you have to completely let it go and not bring it up, not be hawkin over her shoulder etc. or it'll never ever go back to normal. Most people I know that are in relationships where one has cheated or the cheat rumors start flying never do get it back to normal and I'd say 9 out of 10 of those relationships ultimately fail.

As another thing, stop asking friends of her etc. what they know. They don't want to get drug into it, and you will want to find out this information from the horses mouth (no offense). It will make most of them hate you or stop talking to you because if they've been friends with her longer than you, even if she is in the wrong you will be the one they stop talking to. I lost a few friends that were friends with my ex first because I drug them into the middle. Whereas if me and said cheating whore had just broke up, I could prob. still be friends or atleast talk to those few kids online or whatnot.

I feel really bad for you and am empathizing with your situation. I was only with said whore for six months and it tore me up, you've got quite a bit more history in your relationship.

“I know it seems hard sometimes but remember one thing. Through every dark night, theres a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it get, stick your chest out, keep ya head up.... and handle it.” Tupac

[LkptTiger 1]

Christ, Fire, you're having some really rotten "luck" (if that's what you want to call it) lately, aren't you?

You might wanna try meeting women at a church, buddy. Sexually, it'll probably be the least fulfilling relationship you've ever been in - but at least you can be pretty sure she's not going throw your heart in a blender.

Either way, I feel for you, dude.

My girlfriend calls me every five fucking minutes (you think she'd be past that after three years, wouldn't you?). She probably doesn't have the time to cheat between the phone calls and text messages...right? Right? RIGHT?

LOL...I trust her.

*edit* - I'm a grammatically incorrect douchebag.

[Law Goalie 147]

+1 for Church-going girls. I married one a little over a year ago. And to put it in hockey-speak, she displays phenomenal bedroom upside. :)

[LkptTiger 1]

Lucky bastard. My girlfriend isn't even a church-going gal, and she's somehow under the impression that anything outside the missionary position would make her slutty. No. Fun. At. All.

I'm starting to wish some other guy would have taught her some of the "finer points" before I came along. Christ, given how young we are (even after three years), I'm likely just breaking her in for the next guy...lol.

[Fury of One 6]

When a chick pisses you off, just throw on some Bleeding Through, most notably Portrait of the Goddess, it definitely helps - very cathartic.

[Fire0nIce228 1]

You might wanna try meeting women at a church, buddy. Sexually, it'll probably be the least fulfilling relationship you've ever been in - but at least you can be pretty sure she's not going throw your heart in a blender.

LMAO, I guess between that girl, and the very next one hooking up with my roommate, to me breaking it off with the latest cause I just wasn't feeling it I havn't done too well for myself lately. Albeit I went a good ten months between cheating whore number one and slut hooking up with my roommate number two, but my balls almost turned to dust in that time span.

Neither of those girls were into anything other than missionary, and slut number two was on the pill and still made me wrap it up.

To quote,

No.Fun.At.All.

I think I'm gonna take another big long hiatus and see what goes on once I get back into college.

D-Man, let us know whats up bud. Even though this is a hockey forum and this community is pretty anonymous on the most part, there is still a great sense to look out for fellow hockey players, as well as our fellow man.

Although I must say the great wise hockeymom gave me great advice a year ago, so even the females on board may chime in.

[Jason Harris 31]

D-MaN, you can look at it subjectively (from your point of view) or objectively (from an outside perspective). Subjectively, maybe these other people didn't see things clearly or are distorting the facts. Objectively, it's apparent your girlfriend wasn't faithful.

I understand you've been together for two-and-a-half years but, in my mind, there are certain paths we don't cross. Fidelity is one of them for me. If it were me, I'd let her learn that lesson apart from you, although I understand it's going to hurt for a while.

[Law Goalie 147]

I'm likely just breaking her in for the next guy...l

I hated that feeling. Still, you've got to do your part for the brotherhood...

As for the 'feeling slutty' thing, it's been my observation that a great many girls who start out being the life of your party gradually become paranoid about their 'sluttiness', even within the confines of an otherwise sensible relationship. A good Catholic girl*, however, knows perfectly well she isn't a slut, and so is free and eager to play fast and loose behind closed doors.

*Merely an archetype: I'm sure the same applies to well-bred Korean, Kenyan or Kiwi girls.

[LkptTiger 1]

I think I'm gonna take another big long hiatus and see what goes on once I get back into college.

You never know, dude. When I first met my girlfriend, I had NO intention of "settling down" so-to-speak. I just wanted to get some. She wouldn't give it up. That pissed me off - and so she became sort of a "project" of mine (I had never had the honor of "deflowering" a girl, and the perceived "prestige" of doing so was intriguing; and, I later found out, overrated). The more time I spent with her, the more I started to like (and respect) her. Months later, we were dating.

My point is that there is no way you can really "plan" on anything where relationships are concerned. Who knows? You might meet someone tomorrow. Fuck, you might meet a girl who will change your life within the next couple hours.

Then again, you might die alone...lol.

What ever did happen between you and your roommate?

[D-MaN88 0]

Thanks boys. Yeah, I've been wanting to confront the other guy but he knows me and her were together so all he's going to do is try and cover his ass so why waste my time?

When it comes to bringing friends into it, I've only talked to one person other than my ex. She didn't care being in the middle of it as they have never got a long, the thing with the whole "proof" is that HER best friend saw it happen and has heard from the "horses mouth" and other people's mouth that my ex is friends with that she's been saying stuff about how we had been broken up and that I cheated on her (didn't happen; lie) and all this stuff about the new guy.

I don't know, for now I'm not really hurting, but I'm pissed off to no end and I feel stupid because the way she's been acting lately I should have been tipped off by something. I usually am very observant and pick up on stuff like this. (Don't know if that's a good or bad thing).

But I'll keep you updated, she text me and called me earlier this morning and still denies to nothing happened. Yet I have got 2 other calls and countless number of texts saying that its true and more people are stepping up to come out and say that it's "true".

It's just weird being single. I haven't had the chance to just be myself or do what I want and what will make me really happy like just chillin with the guys, dating and hooking up with other girls, playing some more hockey, etc...so all in all I think this is going to turn out for what's best. Hell I'm 19, I figure I have some time to go to find "that girl" and so I'm not going to sweat this. If she's happy with that other guy (if this is all true) then good for her and I wish her the best, I'm just going to take this time to just be myself and enjoy the college/single life.

Life I'm beginning to learn is too short to sweat stuff like this, you have to get past it and move on. "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger..."

Thanks again guys, if you want, I'll keep this situation updated for the next day or two, but for right now and for what I think will be from now on I'm more than fine and happy being single and having the single life style back.

[Fire0nIce228 1]

I've always wanted to have a girl, and for awhile I was in the mindset that it would be awesome to grow up and marry my highschool sweetheart. I never really dated anyone until the girl I ended up taking to prom, so right at the end of high school and that didnt work out obviously. However, I still am in the mindset that when I'm old and dieing it would be nice to have all my good memories of travel or what not have the same girl by my side in all of them instead of a bunch of different ones. However the world doesnt work that like that for most of us.

IF it turns out to be true and you can be happy for her that she met someone and is happy, good for you. Personally, I hope cheating slut number one...ahh nevermind. Lets just say if I saw her I would lower my head and keep on walking. Luckily I moved 600 miles away and wont see her (and yeah, that move was about 90% because of how shitty I felt being up north where every one of my friends knew her etc. and I couldnt get away from it and bein down all the time).

As for chillin with the guys, amen to that. First few months I spent down here all I did was chill with my roommate and meet some new people. I didnt worry about girls or even try to hookup. It was great and I got happy again! I had a blast drinkin and playin hockey and having nothing to worry about except for being able to be coherent at work the next morning.

As far as my roommate who hooked up with whore number two, I decided not to sweat it, got over it and we're fine. He apologized instantly, and after a few days we talked again. Still, if I ever wanna get a dig in on him I'll mention how he hooked up with my girl and I tell him I owe him one (which I wouldn't do) but its even kinda funny now..

Just live it up D-MaN, we're about the same age and I can tell you in my experience, even though it hurts real bad, sometimes its better to just say fuck it :)

Edit: Look at what you have to look forward to blueliner! :)

[mack 44]

I feel like I clicked on Vs. to watch a hockey game and they're showing The View.

[Nutella 0]

How to make a girlfriend?

Well:

Water, 35 liters. Carbon, 20 kilograms. Ammonia, 4 liters. Lime, 1.5 kilograms. Phosphorous, 800 grams. Salt, 250 grams. Saltpeter, 100 grams. Sulfur, 80 grams. Fluorine, 7.5, iron, 5, silicon, 3 grams, and trace amounts of 15 other elements.

Good luck. :)

[Fire0nIce228 1]

I feel like I clicked on Vs. to watch a hockey game and they're showing The View.

Your confused. Your actually just watching a Thrashers/Kings game.

[LkptTiger 1]

I feel like I clicked on Vs. to watch a hockey game and they're showing The View.

The problem there is the fact that we're forced to go to Versus to watch a hockey game.

[Remman 0]

Hell I'm 19, I figure I have some time to go to find "that girl" and so I'm not going to sweat this. If she's happy with that other guy (if this is all true) then good for her and I wish her the best, I'm just going to take this time to just be myself and enjoy the college/single life.

Life I'm beginning to learn is too short to sweat stuff like this, you have to get past it and move on.

From what I've seen, at this age it is a rarity to find someone and stick with them, especially through college which it seems you are just beginning. I'm sure it is nice to have someone at times, but you are only young once, so give it hell.

I'm mid-twenties and some of my friends are married, and some already divorced. Single life is a wonderful thing. You can pick up and go as you please and go to a bar and watch a hockey game instead of attending your girlfriend uncle's 75th birthday party...

[mack 44]

I'm about to hit my mid-twenties and met my wife early on visiting schools down South and stuck it out thru all the very WB-ish things life and being at different schools toss at you. It's a shit-ton of work though early on you learn how to differentiate making something work and trying to force something to work.

[Kovy_Ribs_Fedo 3]

I love this sentence.

It's a shit-ton of work though early on you learn how to differentiate making something work and trying to force something to work.

[hockeymom 2]

Whew, took me a while to catch up with this thread – I need to hang out on MSH more often (thanks for the compliment FireonIce)

woot-woot to you Blueliner – the rest of it is just practice, like any new skill you can’t expect to just skate off with it nailed. You have to build up your new muscles and develop the skill by using it. You’re off to a fabulous start!

D-Man… that just sucks. My cheap advice is to follow the behaviour, not the words. She’s been acting weird around you, so something IS different. The 2 ½ years is hard to let go of, and very, very confusing with a lot of mixed emotions. No one would casually drop a relationship of 2 ½ years - I’d guess most people try to hold onto it until they are “sure” they need to let it go (sometimes including looking at other options while they “hold on”)… the other person, unfortunately you in this case, can get hurt in the meantime. Sucks.

Sometimes when you've been though the emotional chopper, then best thing you can do is ust take a break from it and reconnect with who you are before you get back in the fray. Man, this living stuff is rough while people are figuring out how to do it.

I know this is going to sound weird… but I’ve noticed people get in their own way in two big ways…

Conversation is first... have you guys considered treating women/girls you LIKE as if they are friends? OK, once you stop laughing… I know it feels like they’re a separate species and all that, but ever notice how the conversation is different with girls who are friends? Different as in better. You put more at stake/ at risk with people you like and so you worry about what you’re going to say or how you’re going to say it – and that just makes it harder to connect with them in a real way. (That is why it is easier to flirt with someone when you are already in a relationship (I think it was Salming who pointed that out) – it doesn’t matter as much/ less at risk.)

Sooo… Get out of your own way and just be real and let the chips fall where they will… afterall, they are going to be in a relationship or even just hang with YOU, so why try to be a “fake you” – it is only setting it up for failure because no one can keep up the act for long.

Games are second… Most people don’t intentionally play games.

Guys play games when they are saying what they think the girl wants to hear to either 1. Like them or 2. Get their clothes off (does that lose the G rating for this site?).

Girls play games because they don’t want to hurt someone else. That’s the truth of it. So, they either say what they think he wants to hear (and don’t speak their “truth”) or try to say it “nicely”. Since guys are fairly straight-up communicators they aren’t real good at mind-reading around the “nice” speak… and girls can unintentionally end up doing more damage by being evasive with the truth than if they had just said it outright and let him take the “hit” of the truth.

If they say they aren’t interested… there is nothing wrong with you, it just isn’t a match with them… move on. Find someone else who you connect with and they connect back with you.

I’m watching MissD navigate a relationship with her first boyfriend and so far they are handling it really, really well. They were friends first and I think that really helps in high school. Of course, the young man in question was told that JR said he’d get in the truck the moment the guy wasn’t treating my “delicate flower stonehands” with the care and attention she so richly deserves – but I doubt the same advice is helpful to any of you guys….lol.