kurtandshan 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2007 I've got an issue..my 9 yoa is in his second year of Squirts..moved up last year, he then played AAA this summer, problem is, he's a primadonna, we get behind and he says "its over" and whines other kids "won't" pass. Out of 11 skaters we have only two second year(actual) squirts so really, the passing from this team is actually quite good. I've tried the you need to lead by example, the show 'em how to do it, the "team looks up to you where you lead they go" None seems to be working, maybe it's his personality and I won't break him of it...When he whines I just tell him focus on the game and play it he does continue to pass, its just getting a little old listening to the whine..any ideas on how to handle him in a productive quality parenting way(unlike how I've done it so far).... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
indaslot 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2007 Sounds to me like you're saying the right things.He is,after all,only 9.As he matures,he will handle things better.Kids do get frustrated and they eventually learn to deal with it.At least he's not throwing tantrums, breaking sticks and kicking the ref (I've seen kids like that and even they usually grow out of it.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thejackal 46 Report post Posted January 13, 2007 at least you recognize the problem. sounds like you're a good parent - just do your best and im sure your son will be fine. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patrick67 1 Report post Posted January 14, 2007 Your doing the right thing, he'll realise it and come around eventually.I've seen tons of parents with kids acting like yours, going in the other direction and feel the team should use their kid more and cater to him.Almost always ends in disaster, and a waste of talent. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
usahockey22 0 Report post Posted January 14, 2007 He's only 9, no need to really worry about it unless he's still got issues in a few years... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GH_ID 0 Report post Posted January 14, 2007 Just carring about him is already the good step ahead. Maybe show him role models from the NHL and how they lead there team??? Team leaders like Sakic, Yzerman, putting the team before themselves? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wickedwrister 0 Report post Posted January 14, 2007 I have a 9 yo (although I don't have the issue you are having) that plays AAA too. What I have found is that at this age most if not all of the kids who make the jump to AAA at this age were the "studs" on their previous teams. They had to do it all (ie. end to end/ not much passing) because of the huge desparity in tallent on the team. This is VERY common at this age. I see two ways you can go about it. 1) Because this is more of a coaching issue, you can sit back and let him/ her deal with behavior problems from the players. If the coach is letting this go on and does not have a problem with the kids not passing/ complaining/ giving up when they are loosing, then you should probably look elsewhere for the Spring and in the future. If you are set on your child playing for this organization, then perhaps you should complain to the governing body about the coach. 2) Talk to your son. Ask him if this is really what he wants to do. I would say..."Hey, hockey should be fun first and foremost. If you want to just strictly have fun and goof off a bit, I have no problem putting you in a house program. I won't be mad. In fact, it's cheaper and easier for me and your Mom. If you are serious about playing though, and really enjoy the competitiion on AAA hockey; then all the whining and puck hogging stops right now." ect.... I say that hockey should be fun, but when you choose to play Ranked A/AA or AAA, there is some trade off. It's not always fun and there are some things that you give up when you choose that level of play. Good luck!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wickedwrister 0 Report post Posted January 14, 2007 Hey KURTANDSHAN. Where in Michigan are you located? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
biff44 0 Report post Posted January 14, 2007 It is up to him to get over it, but a good way to toughen him up would be to enroll him in judo or karate classes. After getting thrown around a bit, and the sensei not putting up with any backtalk, he will get the message. It is pretty important for a player to have a good work ethic in hockey, because lord knows it is not an easy sport to progress in. You have to have confidence in yourself, and keep working at it until others start recognizing your greatness...which can be years in the future! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kurtandshan 0 Report post Posted January 14, 2007 Well, first of all, thanks for everything, it all really helps, here is an amazing up date. After a particularly bad attitude during this mornings game the coach( FYI I am an assistant-usually handling defense) moved him back to "D" with some stern words. He performed well but continued with poor attitude, after game no change. At beginning of second game some changes were made and he had a solid defensive partner who knows how to play, line that up with a forward he played with this summer and they had some early impressive plays. Completely new attitude, encouraged his teamamates and directed them into plays, after being down in the third period he was encouraging and and never gave up..We ended up winning by two goals with him chipping in two(after being moved back to offense). Mom also had a talk with him after the first game with some very encouraging words which also hit home. Maybe we turned the corner.By the way we are in the U.P. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jake 0 Report post Posted January 14, 2007 Take a whippin' to 'im. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gman 0 Report post Posted January 14, 2007 Take a whippin' to 'im.What a clown Some day when you have kids you may have a different perspective. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gman 0 Report post Posted January 15, 2007 Well, first of all, thanks for everything, it all really helps, here is an amazing up date. After a particularly bad attitude during this mornings game the coach( FYI I am an assistant-usually handling defense) moved him back to "D" with some stern words. He performed well but continued with poor attitude, after game no change. At beginning of second game some changes were made and he had a solid defensive partner who knows how to play, line that up with a forward he played with this summer and they had some early impressive plays. Completely new attitude, encouraged his teamamates and directed them into plays, after being down in the third period he was encouraging and and never gave up..We ended up winning by two goals with him chipping in two(after being moved back to offense). Mom also had a talk with him after the first game with some very encouraging words which also hit home. Maybe we turned the corner.By the way we are in the U.P. Glad to hear of the possible attitude change. Kids that age are funny little critters. I talk like I have vast experience, my eldest is 11 my little one is 9, so I am only two years ahead of you :) . Anyway, it could be diet, it could be something going on in school, it could be he was just pushing the envelope wanting to see what you and mom would do. He hasn't seen all of your reactions to everything he may do in life, and kids like to have a little bit of predictability. So now he knows what your reactions will be when he pulls stuff like this. Or, he really did just change his mind and will act great and more power to you.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kurtandshan 0 Report post Posted January 16, 2007 Thanks everyone, We'll see if this lasts. Practice was actually better yesterday too..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hockeymom 2 Report post Posted January 16, 2007 kurtandshan,Don't forget positive reinforcement.... everytime you catch him doing something right or with a great attitude, comment on it. Make him feel good about who he is being... actively look to catch him in the act of doing something right.Also.... sometimes, although they understand the words and the direction (to a greater or lesser extent), they don't really get "what that would look like". Leadership and attitude are pretty high concepts... breaking it down into specific acts and commenting on actions that demonstrate these things reinforce and strengthen them and are the only way to develop it into habit. Treat it like you are building muscles in an area that hasn't ben used yet.Expect breakdowns. Teaching kids anything behavioural involves repeating it a million times. It is a 2 step forward/1 step back process. Sounds like you're well on your way! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sdcopp 1 Report post Posted January 16, 2007 Kurt: Sounds like he will be fine and is just being a normal 9yo. I worked for 5 yrs with school agers in a before and after program as well as summer camps. I've seen kids in all areas have the same thing going on. Sometimes when this behavior starts building up the best thing is to have someone who is not a parent handle it with your direction. I know that sounds weird, but sometimes the kid will think "mom/dad is just being mean/hard on me" When it comes from someone like the head coach here, it really sinks in and has impact.The other thing is talking about it from more of the mentor perspective than as the father. A candid talk with questions like "Why do you want to play hockey at this level? What do you think is important here, having fun or winning all the time?" Any questions to really get them thinking and force a response more than just yes/no answers usually have more impact since they have to formulate and think.Sounds like things are better each day, but you might see a regression in behavior if the team hits a slump, school gets tough, etc. Just keep it positive and keep him thinking and you'll have smoother sailing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chadd 916 Report post Posted January 16, 2007 kurtandshan,Don't forget positive reinforcement.... everytime you catch him doing something right or with a great attitude, comment on it. Make him feel good about who he is being... actively look to catch him in the act of doing something right.Great advice.Expect breakdowns. Teaching kids anything behavioural involves repeating it a million times. It is a 2 step forward/1 step back process.As shown here on a daily basis. ;) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
