Rehab

[Spreedizzle 1]

Everyone - I appreciate the responses.

Speed - I especially appreciate you sharing your experience, mine is very similar but I ended up short of having to resort to physicality.

I think at this point I'm just going to have to distance myself from the person. I agree that getting angry at them and berating them is unproductive, but I just don't think I can be truly supportive given the number of times this has happened and the opportunities that have been afforded to the person in question.

If you are not comfortable supporting them during the actual process of rehab, then I suggest that you be one of the first people to congratulate him once he emerges back into the world. Most people out of rehab are looking for one of two things: a sense of normalcy and good in people once they feel that they have accomplished something. If they DON'T feel that they have accomplished anything (and family are belittling them for their past choices) then they will instantly resort back to old ways.

Be sure that you are there for him once he gets out. If you have further questions about my situation....let me know them and I'll see if I can point you in a productive direction.

[mack 44]

Ignoring everything after the first post, yes. It was the summer between junior and senior year in high school and I'd been a complete twat with things, getting into needless trouble; routine calls from the headmaster to my mother about my behaviour at school, etc. Obviously coke (god it smelled terrific roflolzdrugzor) had much to do with it and enough had been enough. My uncle came to pick me up when I got to Dublin to see family before heading to the States and he had the look of someone taking a dog to a pound, knowing it was going to never make it out of there. Went in, not without struggle, conflict, all that, and spent the majority of summer holiday there. Never accepted a phone call from my mother or a visit from my uncle and only saw my sister when she came later on to see me. Never spoke to my mother for that entire year until I told her where I'd be going to college so she could get those gears going.

It took but it didn't take. I still dabbled with it later on and got past it okay as I sincerely believe I could handle it, but it just got to the point of "what's the point, stupid?" It never helps that the guy you buy from gets pinched by his own crazy quasi-ex and leaves you hanging, but them's the breaks.

[jmiro 55]

To the OP. I could sit here and write you a book. Rather I will start by recommending a book "the recovery book" dont get discouraged by the size of it. You open it up and the first chapter will direct you to exactly what you need. You can pick it up for a couple bucks used.

What you need is some education and support. Check out alanon or the NA version. This is a support group for people in your situtation.

There is a difference between support and enabling.

This is not a character trait or a self will problem with your family member it is a Disease. That can be treated with some medication and lifestyle changes.

Relapse is a reality. Addiction can be treated and put in remission, but never cured. Hence the term "so and so is in recovery. To put it in perspective all diabetics relapse on their diet at one point in their life.

Your anger is valid. You most likely feel betrayed and hurt. Loss of trust. That is normal. It is what you do with this anger that is important.

I have been in the same spot you are. It sucks.

I have worked in D&A treatment for 9 years. 7 in a "rehab" (residential treatment facility) as a counselor and the last two years in an Narcotics treatment program (Methadone clinic) as an acting supervisor and counselor. So my opinion my be a little slanted.

[D3nZ 0]

My dad went when I was younger, he left the center, started drinking again. He and my mother seperated and now I realized he wasn't a good influence on my life and I don't talk to him anymore. He just thinks the alcool and his new family is more important than me and now I'm fine with that. It works for some and for other it doesn't depending on will power.

[5minutesforfighting 0]

Don't worry about what you should do, just be there for the person and be supportive. It's not about you, it's about them. Instead of being angry, be happy that they're going to get help.