Adopt an NHL Player

[Jim A 4]

>Since September 11, 2001, Americans and Canadians have come

> together as never before in our generation. We have banded together to

> overcome tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on

> our own soil,wars overseas, corporate/government scandal, layoffs,

> unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, mad cow, SARS,

> high gasoline prices, and a myriad of economic and physical disasters

> both great and small. But now, we must come together once again to

> overcome our greatest challenge yet.

>

> Hundreds of Professional Hockey players in our very own nation are

> going to be locked out, living at well below the seven-figure salary

> level. And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of

> their life giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of

the

> upcoming lockout situation. But you can help!

>

> For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than

> the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help an NHL

> Player remain economically viable during his time of need. This

> contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers

> the annual minimum salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will

> help!

>

> Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a hockey

> player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout

> golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven

> hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage

> payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a hockey player,

> $700 will partially replace his daily salary.

>

> Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to

> buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus

> for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.

>

> HOW WILL I KNOW THAT I'M HELPING?

>

> Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the

> player You sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds,

> 401(k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed

> to your home.

> Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an

> Unsigned photo of the player lounging during the lockout on a

> beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please

> include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator

> to remind you of other peoples' suffering.

>

> HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

>

> Your NHL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just

> wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know

> your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a

> Special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen

> expenses.

>

> YES, I WANT TO HELP!

>

> I would like to sponsor a locked out NHL player. My preference is

> (check below):

>

> [ ] Forward [ ] Defenseman [ ] Goaltender

> [ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a

> specificteam - $10 per minute)

> [ ] Jaromir Jagr (Higher cost: $32,000 per day)

>

>

> Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the

> duration of the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player I

> have sponsored, Along with a Jaromir Jagr 2001 Income Statement

> and my very own Bob Goodenow (Executive Director of the NHLPA

> player's Union) pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).

>

> Your Name: ____________________ ___

>

> Telephone Number: ____________________ ___

>

> Account Number: ____________________ ___ Exp.Date:_______

>

> [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

>

> Signature: ____________________ ___

>

> Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):

>

> Account Number: ____________________ ___ Exp.Date:_______

>

> [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

>

> Signature: ____________________ ___ >

>

[Hockeyman9621 0]

That's hilarious, but the sad thing is it's so true.

[Chadd 916]

I have seen this about 10 times, but no problem. The greedy owners probably want some of the cut too.

They used it for the MLB players as well if I'm not mistaken.

Yeah, it has been making the rounds for a while.

[steve66 45]

Posted that a handful of months ago, but still funny.