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Fire0nIce228

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The Worst Death

3 men are standing at St Peter's gate. St Peter says "I am going to listen to how each of you died, and the person who died the worst death will get into heaven."

The first guy says, "I had been suspecting that my wife had been cheating on me, so I came home early from work one day. Someone was in the shower, I went in there, it was just my wife. I went out onto the balcony and the dirty b*stard was hanging from the balcony. I smashed his fingers with a hammer and he let go, but he survived the fall. So in my rage, I took the fridge and pushed it off the balcony, and he died. I felt so bad that I shot myself."

The second guy says, "I lived on the 5th level of an apartment building. I was mopping my balcony one morning, slipped, and fell off. Luckily I caught onto a balcony just 2 stories down. I was trying to get up, but some guy started smashing my fingers with a hammer, so I let go. I lived through the fall, but looked up to see a fridge falling from the 3rd story."

The third guy says, "Picture this - you're hiding, naked, in a refrigerator..."

joke from a different message board.

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DBQ Essay on Absolution

Absolution was the most effective form of government in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. Absolutism is the form of government in which one person, usually a king or queen, is the most powerful and influential person. This system of governing was practiced by rulers such as Louis XIV of France, Phillip II and James I of Spain, Peter the Great of Russia, and Fredrick the Great of Prussia. Thomas Hobbes was one of the main patrons to the philosophy of absolutism.

Machiavelli, one of the most well known supporters of absolutism, believes that in order to have an efficient monarchy the leader must be feared to keep control of his or her country. He says “For all men in general this observation may be made: they are ungrateful, fickle, and deceitful, eager to avoid dangers and avoid for gain, and while you are useful to them they are all with you but then it [danger] approached they turn on you. Any prince trusting only in their works and having no other preparations made, will fall to ruin… (Document 1)â€. Machiavelli is stressing that if a leader is not feared, untrustworthy people will turn him in times of danger. One of the absolute monarchs that best illustrate this theory is Peter the Great. Over the years he ruled he built one of the strongest armies in Europe. This army shows his power and results in a greater respect, or fear, from the people to stay loyal to Peter. Even a great army was not as respected or feared by the people as they did God.

King James I of England believed that kings were given their power by God. This is a different view from Machiavelli in the aspect that a leader does not have to impose fear on his country because the people already fear God. King James I stated that “Kings are justly called gods, for they exercise a … divine power upon earth… God hath power to create or destroy, make or unmake at His pleasure, to give life or sent death, to judge all and to be judged nor accountable to none, to raise low things and to make high things low at His pleasure … And the like power have kings… (Document 2)â€. James I used this to his advantage during his rein. With having the people believing this statement, the chance of disagreement or revolts against the king greatly diminished due to the belief that anything God, AKA the king, says goes. This made it much easier for him to and make decisions for a country that was not revolting and dissatisfied with their ruler; making the decisions making process more efficient and more widely accepted.

The aspect of absolute monarchy that made it so effective was the efficiency of the decision making process. The king had the right to make any decision he saw fit for the country, and the decision would stand with no contest. Louis XIV of France may not be remembered as one of the better rulers of his time, he exercised this right of being a monarch. Louis XIV says “The head alone has the right to deliberate and decide, and the functions of all the other members consist only in carrying out the commands given to them…. The more you grant… [to the assembled people], the more it claims … The interest of the state must come first. (Document 3)â€. He believes that common people are too uneducated to make the best decisions for the country and the more freedom they are granted the more they will take. If given enough power, these uneducated people will put their own welfare before the good of the entire country. Louis XVI uses this power of making absolute decisions to keep his country under control while trying to make good decisions for the country.

All of these rulers may seem harsh in their styles of ruling that do not let common people have power. In the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries common people were not educated and could not make proper choices for the good of the country. There absolute rulers used their education and experience to try and make the best decisions for their countries. Democracy was not a practical form of government at this time because common people were not smart enough to make decisions for the best of their country. The rulers, weather bad or good, had to try and make the best decisions for their people based on their experience because no one else could make an educated decision.

History Paper... I think I was sending it to a friend to edit it...

:angry:

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