Asst. Coach Dick

[juiced 0]

Hey, i've never posted on this site but i'm always on it. Might as well get right to the point. My little brother is 12 years old and plays ice hockey. He plays in a level that in the middle of all the levels (skill-wise). Anyway, it's obviously supposed to be for fun but one of his coaches is a huge dick, but only to my brother. My brother is one of the best defensemen on the team (definitly the smartest) but this coach always seems to have something negative to say to him. For example, my brothers team made a bad line change that made my brother the last man back on a 3-1. He played it perfectly, giving the guy with the puck and long shot but still cutting off the pass angle. The guy shot and our goalie (who really isn't that great but he tries) missed it somehow. When my brother went to the bench the coach started yelling at him for playing it wrong. (Keep in mind theses are just 12 year old kids). My brother tried to tell him it was just an unlucky bounce but the guy took it as my brother giving him cheek so he went and talked to my dad about my brother's "rudeness". Anyway my brother's getting really frustrated and next year he wants to quit hockey all because of this coach. My brother and my dad have both tried talking to him but to no success. It's getting to the point where i almost go onto the bench and punch the coach because he's such a dick/smart ass. Anyway i was just wondering if anyone had any advice or if you'd been in the same situation at some time and dealt with it. It would really be a shame to see him quit, because he's a pretty good hockey player. Thanks

[All Torhs Team 0]

If hes good enough, leave the team and go to another one. then that coach will see what he did wrong and will come back for him.

[Chadd 916]

He's going to have to find another team if the same guy would be his coach next season. You can try talking to whoever heads up the organization about the coach but most of the time it doesn't resolve the situation. In an ideal world, the coach would be gone but in reality he's better off playing for a different coach.

[juiced 0]

That's the problem, in our area you can't go to a different team, so it's either play for this area or don't play at all.

[Chadd 916]

Then I would go to the orgnaization and make a big deal about it. If you can get video of the coach being an ass or other players willing to talk about things it would probably help.

[whbd18 0]

I have a similar problem. This year I should of clearly made Varsity for my HS team,but was put on JV.Im clearly one of the better defensemans but Im always getting yelled at and sat for a period for stuff that wasnt my fault. My coaches are idiots and havent had a set line all year and do the same drills every practice. Im obvisously not going to go anywhere playing for this team and my parents dont have 10,000 a year to pay for me to go to a better school.

[UMWhockey 0]

I would suggest just going to stick and pucks with your brother and messing around and having a good time. It sucks playing for a coach like that, so show him that hockey can still be fun. Maybe something will happen and he will get a new coach, but any chance you get take your brother out and just have fun on the ice.

[Nick23 0]

I had this problem for years eventually it got to the point where after all my mum had done for the club he tried to ban her from even entering the rink. So i moved to the local rivals, best thing i could have possibly done to develop my hockey, and i will never look back.

[Patrick67 1]

We don't have a coach and it works great :lol:

Instead we have a manager that takes care of all the surrounding stuff, and sets up drills at pratice, but come game time the whole team have had a say on our lines and tactics.

He'll take the responsebillity for benching somebody, and do it, but it's a team decision wheather or not too.

[gotdangles16 0]

you could always make the couch mysteriously dissapear :o

[chippa13 1844]

you could always make the couch mysteriously dissapear :o

What does the couch have to do with this?

As for the other stuff, it's best to just grin and bear it for the rest of this season and hope the same guy isn't his coach next year.

[chippa13 1844]

I have a similar problem. This year I should of clearly made Varsity for my HS team,but was put on JV.Im clearly one of the better defensemans but Im always getting yelled at and sat for a period for stuff that wasnt my fault. My coaches are idiots and havent had a set line all year and do the same drills every practice. Im obvisously not going to go anywhere playing for this team and my parents dont have 10,000 a year to pay for me to go to a better school.

Not for nothing, but if you clearly should have made varsity, you would have. With the way you've been treated, I'd say that both the varsity and JV coaches are seeing something wrong with your game that you are not. Best bet, meet with the coach one on one and find out what you can do to correct your game. An easy way to mend fences.

[biff44 0]

In my experience, a good coach is very hard to find, and something to be cherished. There are many morr mediocre, and a few truly horendous ones out there.

If there is only one team in the area that your brother can join, then that is the only game in town.

I suspect there might be other teams around that are not as convenient. Time for mom and dad to see if they are willing to pony up the time to drive to the other team. Often you can carpool. I have found that a 45 minute one-way drive is about all a kid can routinely take.

It is possible that this coach is better than you give him credit for, sees a lot of potential in your brother, and is giving him much more attention (and ignoring the other players) because he wants him to get better. If the coach has a gruff style, this extra attention looks a lot like he is picking on you and nobody else. Don't forget, hockey is a pretty technical sport, and parents and brothers in the stand are not that qualified to judge! And EVERYONE thinks their kid is the next Bobby Orr!

If he sticks with the same team, and that coach will be there next year, then he has to learn how to deal with him. Even the biggest jerks out there will soften up a little if they see a kid listening to everything he says and goes out there and really tries to implement it. Find what butters him up, and have your brother slather it on thick!

[Eagles39 0]

I have a similar problem. This year I should of clearly made Varsity for my HS team,but was put on JV.Im clearly one of the better defensemans but Im always getting yelled at and sat for a period for stuff that wasnt my fault. My coaches are idiots and havent had a set line all year and do the same drills every practice. Im obvisously not going to go anywhere playing for this team and my parents dont have 10,000 a year to pay for me to go to a better school.

I kind of have the same problem. I did make varsity, and I am considered to be the number 2 defenseman on the team. I think I make good plays, but its not what my coach is looking for. I more of a skating defenseman, and all he wants is a hitter, so I ever get told is that I dont hit, or that I emabaress myself on the ice by not making big open ice checks. All he ever tells me is something negative, and when we get scored on it always seems to be my fault for some reason. When the other pair of defense gets scored he says nothing, but when its me hes got a mouthful. And as far as practices are concerned we do the samething everytime too, just powerplay.

[biff44 0]

Harry S Truman said: "If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog".

Great men can do great things when it seems the world is against them. They do not let anyone get in their way of accomplishing their goals. Find you own personal confidence to be great.

Hockey, more than any other sport I know, requires teenagers to grow up fast and on the rough side of town. Hang in there.

[pldhockey4 0]

i have the same problem with my highschool team.

i think our coach is sexist, im clearly better then like 3 guys that he constantly plays, yet he wont paly me.

[Hockeyman9621 0]

I have a similar problem. This year I should of clearly made Varsity for my HS team,but was put on JV.Im clearly one of the better defensemans but Im always getting yelled at and sat for a period for stuff that wasnt my fault. My coaches are idiots and havent had a set line all year and do the same drills every practice. Im obvisously not going to go anywhere playing for this team and my parents dont have 10,000 a year to pay for me to go to a better school.

I kind of have the same problem. I did make varsity, and I am considered to be the number 2 defenseman on the team. I think I make good plays, but its not what my coach is looking for. I more of a skating defenseman, and all he wants is a hitter, so I ever get told is that I dont hit, or that I emabaress myself on the ice by not making big open ice checks. All he ever tells me is something negative, and when we get scored on it always seems to be my fault for some reason. When the other pair of defense gets scored he says nothing, but when its me hes got a mouthful. And as far as practices are concerned we do the samething everytime too, just powerplay.

It sounds like he wants more from you and wants you to be a leader, but you just want to blend in.

[Sniper15 0]

Fight him.

[juiced 0]

BIFF44

I know what you mean by everyone thinks their kid should be the next bobby orr, but i play a high level of hockey so i konw what i'm talking about when i say that he doesn't know anything about hockey. For one, he gives him bad/stupid advice, and another reason, his practises are pretty much just circles and forward drills like the horsshoe. Thanks everyone for their input though.

[biff44 0]

Oh, I feel your pain. My kid had one coach who did the same ONE passing drill for 1/2 of the practice EVERY day for a full season. Apparently, it was the only drill he knew, despite pretending to be a great coach. His only other skill was benching players on a whim. When one player went up to he and said "coach, can we do some different drills?" he yelled back "when you guys can do this one!".

Well, everyone moved on to other teams, and one of the comments I hear all the time is that my kid has a great outlet pass. Painful? Yes! Did he get something out of the experience? Yeah, a bunch of things. Passing ability, the being able to recognize when a coach is bs'ing him, and knowing that if he hangs in there and works hard thru the adversity he will advance.

[Jason Harris 31]

I know you've said that your brother and father have spoken to him, but maybe you need your father to ask for a meeting between him, your brother and the head and assistant coach.

Then have your father preface the meeting with something along the lines of "We seem to feel there's been a bit of negativity toward Johnny, and we just wanted to see whether misreading some of the comments, or has Johnny been doing something wrong?"

Basically, your Dad would be asking the coaches to lay their chips on the table. If they can't do that, or if they appear to do so but then change their tune later in the year, then you're not dealing with nicest people. And there's not much you can do about that.

[Cheesehead 0]

If u are better at hockey than ur brothers coach, maybe u could talk to one of the rink managers about helping out or assistant coaching.

the extra ice time could only help u get better, but it may require extra time.

good luck

[juiced 0]

sorry about missed posts, i was away at a hockey tournament. Anyway thanks for the advice.