Kid help

[mack 44]

All right, help a single parent out here. I have my daughter's 1st birthday party tonight and apparently I was supposed to get treat bags or something for the other kids coming. WTF? I'm thinking some are toddlers that could care less and some deserve nothing more than a cup of bleach and some plastic bags.

This is ridiculous but if any of you have a clue what kids ranged 2-4 want, please let me know.

Edit: Jesus, most of you are kids and there are no parents in the office at this time.

[LkptTiger 1]

Crayons and drawing paper/pads...maybe...?

I'd imagine bouncy-balls would be good, too; a kid can never have too many of those. Just make sure they're big enough so they can't cram them up their noses or down their throats - I have a feeling your night is going to be stressful enough without a sprint to the hospital.

Tell the kid I said 'Happy Birthday.' ;)

[Alias81 0]

Just chuck some random candy in there, the more sugar the better.

Lollypops etc...

[mack 44]

Lkpt-

Good call on the balls, but with the Crayons I see a lot of little masterpieces being put on my floors and walls. I'll pass on the birthday wishes and try to explain to her why there's no accompanying present haha.

Alias-

Yeah, there's already a cake with enough frosting to give us all diabetes so I'm not giving any more out. Maybe Dimetapp punch, but no sugar.

[LkptTiger 1]

Lkpt-

Good call on the balls, but with the Crayons I see a lot of little masterpieces being put on my floors and walls. I'll pass on the birthday wishes and try to explain to her why there's no accompanying present haha.

That's why you don't give them out to the little bastards until it's time for them to leave. As for the present - tell her it's in the mail.

[Storm 0]

Keep the kids busy

Go to dollar store and get prizes

Stick picture of your child on a poster and have everyone sign it

Baby Bowling -

Fill baby bottles with water to make them more stable. (everybody wins)

Fill a jar with candy and have the kids guess. (everybody wins)

Dancing contest (everybody wins)

Singing contest (everybody wins)

Happy birthday,

If you can't get treats you probably can't get to a dollar store. Dollar bills will probably do.

[ktang 34]

Fold them some paper airplanes... the ones that loop.

[mack 44]

Dancing contest (everybody wins)

Dollar bills will probably do.

I shouldn't put these two different ideas together but I couldn't help but laugh.

[LkptTiger 1]

Fill baby bottles with water to make them more stable. (everybody wins)

Fill a jar with candy and have the kids guess. (everybody wins)

Dancing contest (everybody wins)

Singing contest (everybody wins)

So you're into the idea that shielding kids from the ugly, cut-throat realities of this world is good for them? They're going to get steam-rolled sooner or later: they might as well get used to it now. ;)

Ever see 'The Great Santini'? Yeah, that's how shit was here at my house when I was little...and the older/better I got, more and more of the swinging elbows, hacking sticks and brush-back pitches came my way. There was no such thing as "everybody wins" or "go easy on the kid" around here...and I turned-out alright...right?

mack: you're so incredible disgusting and vile it amuses me to no end.

[Storm 0]

Dancing contest (everybody wins)

Dollar bills will probably do.

I shouldn't put these two different ideas together but I couldn't help but laugh.

I can't stop laughing. I can't get the mental image out of my head of the look my sister gives me when I screw up with my nieces combined with the image of you giving out dollar bills from your stack to the kids dancing with the other parents looking in on in shock.

I could see them grabbing their kids and running out the door.

[sdcopp 1]

find Disney channel super quick, anything animated there will do. Food, noise and toys is all you need.

[mack 44]

Thanks again guys, I've recruited my sister to get some of the kids stuff from her grade 1 classroom.

I think I'll cave-in by the next one(s) and go with hired entertainment. I already got the "we could always hire a clown but you're scared to death of them" comments.

Now I'll just be the guy chewing on a cigar with a glass of scotch tucking dollar bills into kids as they dance in this contest, saying "here's another one from uncle Mack, cutie." Ugh, that image isn't going out of my head soon enough.

[sdcopp 1]

it's more about crowd and damge control rather than entertaining at this age, and it only gets better as they get older and have increased stomach capacity for sugar laden treats.

[mack 44]

True enough, which is why my worry will be that some dick parents will be like "oh this isn't our house" and let their kid act like the one from Mad Max.

[gman 0]

You say it is your daughter's first b-day party. So she's only one year old? Or is this her first one and she is two or three? If she's only one, then it is going to be a party for the parrents more than the kids I would think. If she's a toddler, just clear out some space and put on something Barney-esque and keep the cake and punch coming. I assume all the parents will be stayng. When my boys were that young wife and I would have never left them unattended. Hopefully some of the other parents will help and not just sit there.

Having little bags of party favors is kind of customary I think, though they usually get them on the way out the door. Some colored pencils, assorted stickers, and larger (non swallowable) balls are good. If you have boys and girls coming you can customize the bags and put bracelets in the girls' bags and GI-joe's in the boys bags.

GOOD LUCK!!!!

[mack 44]

Yup, today's her 1st and I had the day off till we got buried in snow and I had to come in so this has had a bad omen on it since this morning. I figured it was more for the parents and didn't think the goodie bags were necessary till the kids were older but that's what I get for thinking logically like a man.

We'll have the kids all around the parents and I'm thinking something on TV in case they need to be vegetables for a little bit. I'm saving cake for last though so the parents can deal with the sugar rushes.

[LkptTiger 1]

They should tell kids about this kinda shit at those abstinence assemblies...it's worked on me - I don't think I'll ever have sex again.

[mack 44]

Trust me, putting El Hefe on the shelf was my #1 resolution.

[hockeymom 2]

I want a full report on how you do/did Mack. Just get in the spirit LOL

Treat bags are handed out on the way out... so you can put noisy stuff in them for revenge against the other parents... and no worries about damage to YOUR SENSIBILITIES OR HOUSE.

And with more on the way... remember this IS a skill you need to develop.

Oh my.. I laughed so hard in the thread that I cried.

[kovalchuk71 212]

I thought you were married mack?

[mack 44]

Yunno, I was totally in the spirit till I got called into work. She woke up and got to walk thru a door-full of streamers hanging down and was all amped for it, at least as much as a baby can be. That's one thing, but the other thing was thanks to my mutant ability to procrastinate about everything I had planned on getting this stuff taken care of all-day long. Now it's crammed into about an hour. I can only imagine how much Curious George crap is hung up everywhere.

I thought you were married mack?

Technically I am but I can see how well I fail/pull this off having an impact one way or the other.

[hockeymom 2]

I am STILL laughing about this... Mack comes undone. LOL I really shouldn't be enjoying it this much.

Yuppers, this sort of thing would go on that marital scorecard....LOL

OK... I think you've had good help here, and I'm sure your sister will save your butt. But if you STILL need some help - go into any Toys R Us type place and look panicked and helpless (will not be a stretch). One of those very helpful peopl will sort you out in no time flat. You're lucky, this age is pretty easy.

[LkptTiger 1]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Mack is Teflon - nothing sticks to the guy (except for the whole baby thing - we'll chalk that up to sub-par legal representation ;) ). He'll knock it out of the park - or at least double into the gap, anyways...lol.

Given his height, the only thing Mack really has to worry about is accidentally stepping on a kid or five.

[mack 44]

Oh I know, the guys came thru in the clutch. I'd be pestering any woman on our floor had they come in today so I was left to my own devices. If I was trying to get out of a prisoner of war camp, these are the guys I'm taking with me. Except for the guy who suggested all the damn sugar.

My sister will come thru but I'm going to see how mum she stays about any of this panic reaching the wife.

[hockeymom 2]

My sister will come thru but I'm going to see how mum she stays about any of this panic reaching the wife.

The stack of dollar bills might come in handy.