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ExitTwoEighty

Messy Roommates

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Hey guys,

I really don't know what to do. I had to go home for the weekend, and the kitchen was pretty messy. I swept, mopped the kitchen floor and cleaned/cleared off all the counters. Then last night I come back the garbage can is overflowing, and the bag is tucked under so I had to reach in and grab it to throw out the trash. The counter has all of these wrappers and stuff, there's used napkins on the floor... I just can't stand it, but I'm too afraid to say something without sounding like an ass. Did you guys have any situations like this? and how did you go at it? any info would be appreciated, thanks.

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You have to tell him what's bodering you right away in a polite and calm way and get tougher if the situation persists. At the end the best way is to do a TO DO list with your roomate of things to clean up during the week. Honestly some guys don't even notice how dirty they are until you point it out to them.

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Some guys are just slobs. Unfortunately some of those same guys actually get offended if you point out how dirty they are. Others, like GHID mentioned, are totally oblivious. If your roomy is a friend, then maybe you can make a joke of it and get him on your side that way.

If not and it is a purely financial situation, start looking for other roomates and when you find a prospect you can let this guy know he needs to clean up or clean out. I had the same type of situation in college. Unfortunately moving out was really not an option so we had to talk. You don't want to keep quiet as it will eat you up and affect the rest of your life. But you don't want to get into a pissing match either because no one wins those.

This is one of those life lessons that if you learn while you are young, you can use for a very long time. So take advantage of this grasshopper and make the most of it. I know, I know, your B*&%-slapping me right now... But you gotta make light of it if you can so you can solve it smoothly.

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OR you can use the "your half, my half" approach

That can indeed be a good approach. However if the other guy still does not give a crap then his half gets worse and eventually spills over into the clean half thereby further infuriating the clean guy. Then the clean guy ends up cleaning the slobs stuff anyway. Can you tell I've been down this road before??

If you want to pick one last final fight, after nothing else has worked, scoop all his crap and filth into a pile and put it in his bed. One way or another you won't have to worry about this clown any longer.

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Talk to him about it...My roomate was having problems with the way I clean stuff and leave stuff out, so we talked and now its all good in the hood. Communication is key.

Zach

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This year I lived with six roommates, so needless to say it got messy. There were ongoing fights all year that never really got resolved over who was not picking up their stuff, etc. One of my best friends is completely retarded when cleaning up after himself. For example he'll cook something in a pot and leave it out on the counter overnight. When I ask him about it his response is "but I know I'm going to eat it tomorrow". The bottom line is that some people really just don't get it when it comes to cleaning. He isn't trying to be messy, and I just assume most people aren't. The most effective way I've found to get him to clean his shit up is to be a dick about it to him. Being nice failed because he doesn't understand simple concepts like the dishes won't wash themselves, and that other people want to use them.

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Whatever you do, don't leave a note, send an email, IM, text message, etc. Talk about it face to face like grown men and don't be accusatory or confrontational from the start. Any kid can toss a bunch of curse words, sling a few insults, raise his voice and throw a shit fit of an argument, but 9 times out of 10, neither party comes remotely close to winning the battle. And since he's the messy one, you would technically lose, since I'm not sure you being overly clean really offends him. But learn to talk it out, relate and find common ground and come to a reasonable solution in person(basically get him to think at least somewhat your way), and you've acquired a much more valuable skill for life (whether you use it as a boss, coach, husband, father or friend; more than likely all of the above) than the guy who hurls a few gongshow insults and thinks he's the man.

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What works with my roommate is to stop cleaning and just let it pile up until he realizes how messy the place is and cleans it up himself.

Only had to do that once. When he went to cook and there were no clean pots and the garbage can had another cans worth of trash and boxes piled up around it did he realize..

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Just tell them right off the bat, which is one of the reasons I never liked living with friends but even then I told them when crap was just not going well. I remember one time having to take off for a family thing and forgot about a cup of iced tea I had left on the counter near the kitchen, with a bag of whatever food I ate the night before. "No worries, they'll take care of it." No, I came back home and the cup and bag were right there. I can see how the "it isn't my mess" approach would have worked if that was out for a day, but a week+? That's just nasty.

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thanks for the input guys, since I'm only gonna be here one more month before I'm done with college, I'm just gonna leave it and see what happens. I figured he would've noticed the used napkins on the floor today while cooking but nope.... they're still there. It's annoying, i empty the recycling bin and he brings all his stuff from his room and fills up the bin again.

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A month is still a long time, especially if one of their messes leads to bugs and crap coming in.

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My college roommates where awful. Instead of washing dishes, they'd steal bowls from the lounge and they just kept piling up. At the end of the year we had 100+ easy, plus silverware (most of which would sit in the bathroom sink).

I should have gotten back at them by bringing my hockey equipment up and spreading it around the apartment.

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Just talk to him. Wait until he's fast asleep, then stand on his bed in an old-fashioned goalie mask and start up the chainsaw. Be sure to talk in a calm, soothing voice. I bet you he'll be the cleanest mofo that ever lived from that day forward. ;)

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