My Friend's Dad...

[Kyle_M 0]

Today one of my best friends dad lost his fight to cancer. I don't really know what to say to him when he comes back. I don't know how to deal with this situation as I've never had to before. Any suggestions on what I can do for him?

[mack 44]

Just be a friend to him and try to encourage him to get out and do stuff to keep his mind off things.

[Kyle_M 0]

Thanks for the advice mack that'll be useful.

[Chadd 916]

Don't dwell on it but be there if he needs a friend.

[mack 44]

No problem. Just know that he's more than likely not going to be very outgoing in terms of doing things, but he'll have to get back to "normal things." Trouble with that is he'll also need time to be alone and the happy medium isn't going to be easy to find.

[dgaronzik 1]

yeah, pretty much anything you can do to keep his mind off his loss will be good. Send flowers to his house, maybe see if your mom can make some food for them to eat. Most importantly, just be there for him.

[Dan_The_Man_16 0]

Yeah, and really try not to mention his dad, unless he wants to talk about him.

[Kyle_M 0]

Thanks a lot guys I didn't want to approach him wrong or anything to make him remember his dad because I think they were pretty close.

[Guest phillyfan]

If you are close to your friend, and understand the way they usually go, talk or don't talk about it directly. I have some friends that if you bring up the slighest clue about what happened, they will burst out crying and get. But other friends, they need to talk about what happened to aid the healing process.

[NCPUCK26 0]

How old are you? I'm only 15, last year my (old) best friend lost his mom to a brain aneurism. It was really tough, and I thought he was dealing with it well, because he was fine on the outside, but he turned to alcohol and is an extreme alcoholic, i haven't hung out wiht him in a long time due to the drinking. So if your around my age, don't let him turn to drugs or drinking.

[Kyle_M 0]

That's too bad to hear that, NCPUCK26, I don't think he will turn to drugs or alcohol like your friend. Thanks for all your insight guys it'll help me a lot along the way.

[kosydar 0]

It sounds weird, but don't try to hard to make things normal again. Things will be different for a while. Like the other guys said, he'll probably just want to hang out by himself and not do anything. Encourage him to get out, but don't force him too, he'll end up being resentful. Also, don't force yourself upon him. He geninuely might not want to hang out with you, but don't take it personally. ;

[MNGopherFan09 0]

I am going through something similar. One of my really good friend's dad committed suicide a few days ago. He shot himself in the head at 3am and my friend found him. He was suffering from depression and couldn't take it anymore. I don't know what to do or say to my friend. The funeral was today and it was really hard.

[PiKappaPhi 0]

here is the most important thing you can do....dont talk. If he wants to talk, he will talk. When he talks, he probably will just want to tlak cause it will make him feel better. Don't push any conversations, just sit around and try and bring in some humor when necessary. Just be his friend, thats what he will need more than just about anything. Good luck, to both of you, its probably the hardest thing in life. To want so much to help, and not have anything to do.

[Biskitindabaskit 0]

My dad died of a heart attack last year so I can understand whats goin on. Don't talk about it unless he brings it up because I got so sick of people wanting to talk to about it I didnt want to talk with anyone for a while about anything.

It's important for him to realize what has happened because if he doesn't came to terms with his emotions now he will bottle them up and have to suffer far worse than he should have to.

Keep him busy doing normal things that he did before this happened.

[Kyle_M 0]

He was in school on Thursday. He didn't even miss a full day of school. He was just acting normal like nothing has happened. I haven't brought it up with him because I don't think he wants to talk about it. Is this normal? Is he bottling up his emotions like Biskitindabaskit mentioned?

[mack 44]

More than likely. They'll come out eventually though, you just have to let him do it on his own time.

[MNGopherFan09 0]

Yeah my friend is doing real well now. He hung out with us Friday and last night. I didn't mention it at all. If he wants to talk about it, he'll bring it up. But, the best thing is that he's doing a lot better.

[flaming_june 2]

give'm a hug and go out n play some hockey

although you should respect him for not speaking out to you. but maybe you should just ask a little too.