how to make a girl friend?

[JR Boucicaut 3802]

Hahaha I'm not fighting any battles for any of these suckas...

[LkptTiger 1]

Girls play games because they don’t want to hurt someone else. That’s the truth of it. So, they either say what they think he wants to hear (and don’t speak their “truth”) or try to say it “nicely”. Since guys are fairly straight-up communicators they aren’t real good at mind-reading around the “nice” speak… and girls can unintentionally end up doing more damage by being evasive with the truth than if they had just said it outright and let him take the “hit” of the truth.

I'm going to have to beg to differ. Girls play games because it does wonders for their (usually low) self-esteem. What's better than flirting with one guy who thinks you're cute? Flirting with TWO or THREE guys who think you're cute.

Usually the guy(s) with the least to offer get(s) phased-out - but this can take awhile; from what I've seen, girls can get pretty good with this charade.

It's like that, eh, JR? Yeah, well, I wouldn't step-up for you either! :(

[Fire0nIce228 1]

Crap. I was hoping JR would be my wingman for a weekend. Something I heard about if you've got an ugly duckling with you you look that much better to the women at the bar? :-p

Oh, good to see your still alive hockeymom! :)

[hockeymom 2]

I'm going to have to beg to differ. Girls play games because it does wonders for their (usually low) self-esteem. What's better than flirting with one guy who thinks you're cute? Flirting with TWO or THREE guys who think you're cute.

Usually the guy(s) with the least to offer get(s) phased-out - but this can take awhile; from what I've seen, girls can get pretty good with this charade.

Well, of course you're going to have to beg to differ, LOL, because that is what it looks like when YOU watch it - what I suggest is there is something different, more times than not, that is going on inside. I'm NOT suggesting there aren't girls out there who are players - good grief there are plenty of those of BOTH genders; nor is it a case of one-size-fits-all reason.

Not being able to tell someone your truth also comes from (usually) self-esteem issues. But the reality is, IMO and IME, girls get caught in an internal squeeze more often between knowing that he doesn't stand a chance with you, but not wanting to hurt him by saying it directly. (If I was to call it more directly - this way the girl does not have to deal wth HIS reaction - so it isn't really about her being "nicer" - does that make sense?) So they continue flirting around without it getting anywhere until it slowly gets phased out.

Lots and lots of people - both men and women - use this tactic to break up with someone or to never really get started with someone without telling them "no" directly.

LOL... have you never broken up with someone by kinda ignoring them, hoping they'll eventually tire of it and wander away without you having to "do the deed" or be the "bad guy"? Same tactic at play. Usually backfires and would have been easier to just say your "truth" right from the get-go. Or at least, that is how it seems to me.

[blueliner27 12]

Thanks for all.

And welcome back hockeymom.

Girls play games because they don’t want to hurt someone else. That’s the truth of it. So, they either say what they think he wants to hear (and don’t speak their “truth”) or try to say it “nicely”. Since guys are fairly straight-up communicators they aren’t real good at mind-reading around the “nice” speak… and girls can unintentionally end up doing more damage by being evasive with the truth than if they had just said it outright and let him take the “hit” of the truth.

Interesting.

Thank god I wasn't stupid enough to wait that an answerless answer.

If they say they aren’t interested… there is nothing wrong with you, it just isn’t a match with them… move on. Find someone else who you connect with and they connect back with you.

I figured out I'd better look for one who matches with me.

----

I don't see a lot of progress but I started to have more and more conversation with her. I'm planning to invite her to see me playing a game next week. I believe that this is such a great way to show me off (I'm a team captain).

One thing I'm worried about is that the rink stinks so much. :(

Another questions: Is it okay to leave her out like this?

Any ideas?

Thanks for helping me out guys!!!!!!

[LkptTiger 1]

LOL... have you never broken up with someone by kinda ignoring them, hoping they'll eventually tire of it and wander away without you having to "do the deed" or be the "bad guy"? Same tactic at play. Usually backfires and would have been easier to just say your "truth" right from the get-go. Or at least, that is how it seems to me.

I've always found that the truth, however harsh, is usually more effective and actually more beneficial for all parties involved. Hell, as far as I can tell, truth is more effective when it's harsh. It's a tactic I've employed on more than one occasion - some "encounters" being more "fun" than others.

That said, I have been guilty of leaving girls "hanging" for weeks at a time; hoping they'll get the picture. The girls who got this treatment were usually the ones I actually liked and might have developed feelings for. I guess I just didn't have the heart to do what I probably should have done. This approach usually resulted in a lot more work and a lot more tears...and I'm NOT good around women when they're crying.

I suppose what you say makes sense. Mom knows best, eh? ;)

[hockeymom 2]

Hahaha I'm not fighting any battles for any of these suckas...

As long as I can keep you on retainer as a threat to any boys MissD dates.

Oh, good to see your still alive hockeymom!

Never that far away… thanks FireonIce

Mom knows best, eh?

Thanks for the Canadian, eh? (you always remember!) Of course I wouldn’t have learned ANY of this stuff by doing it in my life…lmao

[D-MaN88 0]

Well I went over to her house last night and we talked. When I went over there I was looking for her to show me something and just be straight up about if something happened. She barely talked, she tried to play it off like nothing happened and that I had no reason to be upset, and every time I brought it up she said it was "stupid".

If there would have been more emotion and honesty from her on her end as well as some sympathy for acknowledging what all this has made me feel I might have been able to forgive everything, if they were rumors or if it was true, I don't know what I would have done if she would have been completely different and what I was looking, trying to see.

So before I left I told her that I couldn't be in a relationship with someone that I have to hear shit like this and at my age, I shouldn't have to put up with the drama. I tried to break it to her as easy and most understandingly as I could saying that how I feel right now it wouldn't be fair to me or her to keep this "relationship" going so I ended it. As I was driving off she came up to my window bawling asking me to forgive her for all of this "even though she didn't do anything" and then she asked me if not now if we could be together ever again. Being put on the spot like that and with how I've felt and the feelings and emotions I had at the moment I straight up told her I don't know, and she went inside crying so hard.

Needless to say it was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and go through. Like Lkpt, I'm not good around girls when they are bawling and upset as she was. I just think with all of this it's kind of a lesson that right now I need to find what's best for me and that it was maybe time to just move on.

It's definitely weird, and it's definitely hard, but I'm fine. I can honestly say I'm getting through it pretty damn good. Time to go out and live the single life and enjoy it and enjoy my time in college and as "mom" says, let the chips fall where they fall.

[Fire0nIce228 1]

Good job bro, one thing no one on this planet can do is predict the future. Maybe you will maybe you won't. Live it up.

[LkptTiger 1]

Like Lkpt, I'm not good around girls when they are bawling and upset as she was.

That's how you know you're a man. Well, that among other things.

[shifter 0]

B) good job!! its time to go and pimp other girls :lol:

[Hipster 5]

I don't see a lot of progress but I started to have more and more conversation with her. I'm planning to invite her to see me playing a game next week. I believe that this is such a great way to show me off (I'm a team captain).

One thing I'm worried about is that the rink stinks so much. :(

Another questions: Is it okay to leave her out like this?

Any ideas?

Thanks for helping me out guys!!!!!!

Son, you are definitely on the right track.

Play hockey with reckless abandon

Make steady progress in conversation

Show clear interest then wait a bit. Don't over communicate your interest.

Men can be either hunt or fish in their approach to women. In other words, you have to either make it happen or make something else happen that will cause the girl to make the relationship happen. The best approach is to be a little of both, not too much of either and err on the side of action (hunter). Keep playing hockey. Hockey is about action and decision and guts. Not only does that get you what you want in life, it also attracts what you want. Right up there with the law of gravity and the certainty of death and taxes is that fact that hot girls like hockey players. Always have, always will. Play any hockey beyond high school and you won't have to worry much about getting some. Play hockey for a paycheck and you'll have to worry about getting too much.

Just be as good a version of what you want to be as you possibly can, treat them decently and don't ever act cocky or entitled. All other things being equal, a quiet hockey player who knows his value and communicates his interest assuredly without much bravado is Waaaay more attractive to the really hot girls than a player who is always looking in the mirror and chasing skirts.

Keep playing hockey, though. Shoot low and hard stick side and the five hole will take care of itself. If that doesn't make sense to you, it will in time.

[pat19 0]

Play hockey for a paycheck and you'll have to worry about getting too much.

haha that's a great quote.

[JR97 2]

Keep playing hockey, though. Shoot low and hard stick side and the five hole will take care of itself. If that doesn't make sense to you, it will in time.

Lol. nice one.

[Fire0nIce228 1]

So, someone explain to me why 'cheating whore' has requested me on facebook?

[D3nZ 0]

BTW, waiting at the coat chek are a good way to meet girls. Good way to break the ice and maybe slip a number in their pocket. Sometimes the coat area is not near the music or the music may also be off (if it's closing time) so you don't have to yell your way into a conversation.

[Patrick67 1]

Slip your number in their coat????? erm that's kinda creepy IMO.

[blueliner27 12]

I think it's time to discuss...

Our school, traditionally, has held the "Winter Formal". Students dress up formally and dance. Well, I guess it's some sort of year end dance party.

The party officially started at 7 but she showed up around 7:30-ish. I was little upset, but, oh well, as long as she made the party, it's fine.

We went upstairs. It was totally different atmosphere when I first had a date (uh, long ago in a Japanese Restaurant). So, I went a quite place, away from the stage. As here what hockeymom indicated, I reminded that conversation is critical. I probably talked about every topic I could possibly think. Geez, that 30 min was the most painful. As I saw that I ran out of topics, I worried so much; "what would be my next move?, what the heck should I do next?".

I planned not to dance at first (I HATE and SUCK at dancing). Well, got no choice other than dance.

So, we entered to the stage, but the music suddenly changed into bit romantic. Uh, this was the moment I really did not wish to be happened (Why? I believed it'd be awkward; it's only been few times since we met). Nonetheless, I danced. The only problem I had was that she was SHORT, seemed kinda hard to reach her hands around my neck. So, I bent my knees a bit, allowing her for easier reach. That moment was VERY AWKWARD. I could not directly see her eyes. OMG! Few mins later, music was switched in to YMCA (I know it's f-ing random). But hey, what a huge relief it was!

Then, I introduced my best friends to her (I don't know if it is a smart move though). We went back to dance after having dinner (a crapy dinner, only pizza was eatable). I also bought her drinks (not alcoholic but a big rip off).

The music was again changed into romantic (second time right after I got on the stage, lol). This time, I saw her eyes couple times (being very brave, yeah!).

The party officially ended at 10 but we went out around 9:45 to beat the crowd. She seemed really enjoyed the party. Hooray!

--

I believe this was such a big improvement for me. Later, she gave me a Christmas present for the first time. I was so glad.

Oh, by the way, the girl whom I first asked for date/prom, she asked me for a dance WITH ME (I know, what a b****). I told to her, “um, sorry, I got a partner”. But I was really going to say, “Are you dumb or what? Wasn’t that you ditched me? @$$ H***”

--

Sorry, this got so long.

Any thoughts?

[D3nZ 0]

Slip your number in their coat????? erm that's kinda creepy IMO.

Well not slip it in a random girls pocket, one who you've talked to during the night or at the bar or someone you've noticed she's been eyeing you all night.

[mack 44]

Does that ever work? Working at our uncle's pub back home my sister and I would both get numbers on tabs and I can't speak for her but I'm a guy and abused the hell out of those numbers.

[LkptTiger 1]

The party officially started at 7 but she showed up around 7:30-ish. I was little upset, but, oh well, as long as she made the party, it's fine.

--

The party officially ended at 10 but we went out around 9:45 to beat the crowd. She seemed really enjoyed the party. Hooray!

--

Any thoughts?

Do the words "fashionably" and "late" mean anything to you?

[D3nZ 0]

Does that ever work? Working at our uncle's pub back home my sister and I would both get numbers on tabs and I can't speak for her but I'm a guy and abused the hell out of those numbers.

Well I did meet my new girlfriend at a coat chek a while ago so I guess it does work.

[bdj 0]

The only problem I had was that she was SHORT

Funny that you mentioned this, Me being 6'4 I manage to find apparently the shortest girls on the planet. The latest I'm with is at a whopping 5'2, 14 inches shorter than me.

[mack 44]

Yes but it leaves room for the smoothest of come-ons like "I've got 14" on you. And I'm taller."

[ADAbsolutNDN 0]

Yes but it leaves room for the smoothest of come-ons like "I've got 14" on you. And I'm taller."

:lol: jokes