I once had a coach at a camp, who was the HC for the women's team at a major D1 university, tell the room that all refs are a-hole POSs and should be treated accordingly. We all laughed. Since then, I've come to realize he's right.
In my experience, especially recently, good beer league refs are like frickin unicorns, and good hockey directors are like 4 leaf clovers. Sadly the best ref down here is a POS human being (that you'd know from being infamous on GGSU, IPv6).