What do you do?

[sdcopp 1]

So how do you cope when you finally hit what feels like beyond rock bottom?

I had a lousy 06, and despite a week's vacation I don't feel any better now than I did. I feel constantly tired, like all the life's been sucked right out of me with a husk of me left to get through the day.

It's weird asking relative strangers from across the continent and world about this, but I find friends either sugarcoat things or are filled with bad ideas about how to cope.

I've found myself to be brash and rude, overly opinionated and damn mean lately. Little things I usually can pass off irritate the hell out of me, and I don't know how to unwind from it. If any of you have gone through this and have any advice I'm all ears, I could use something to help get back on track.

Thanks everybody

[Jason Harris 31]

First, you need to try to figure WHY you're feeling blase. Bad grades? Bad breakup? Bad job? No exercise?

Once you've determined what's been causing you to be in a funk, you need to be honest with yourself and determine whether your expectations are unrealistic. It's very easy to be depressed when Life doesn't flow as you would like it to, but it's possible you're expecting for too much.

I'll give you an example I think you might understand: relationships. You know that yearning, burning feeling you get when there's someone new who you want in your life? That feeling CAN"T last forever. But so many people miss that feeling, to the extent that they tell themselves the wonderful, happy relationship they are in is boring. It's not boring -- it's reality. The truth is Life is not the bells and whistles we see in the movies, but more of a routine. What's important to understand is that doesn't mean it can't be fun and fulfilling.

[sdcopp 1]

Thanks Jason, but mine is a bit deeper than just the bad job/bad breakup. 06 was mom being diagnosed with early alzheimer's, divorce and bankruptcy and a beloved uncle dropping dead from massive heart attack/brain anuerism two weeks before Christmas. Add the piling bills for a while and a very confused toddler to the mix throughout the yr and that was 06.

I feel like I've been beaten up all the time lately and wonder if through other's trials and tribulations there has been some secret to getting by and feeling better, some meditation, massage therapy, holistic treatments, spa days, etc. that really seem to kick things back in.

It was a yr of every time I felt like I was getting back up from falling off of the proverbial horse, I'd get bucked back off by something new.

[hockeymom 2]

I've actually had a couple of years like that a while back.... so many major things hitting in close order can sure knock the stuffing out of a person. My new years' resolution for a couple of years was "not another year like last year".

Meditation is good... reconnect with yourself a bit every day to stay centered. Learning how to "stay in the moment" is also pretty vital. Now, now, now... is pretty much how I try to live my life.

If you are a reader there's some great books about using the crap. Let me know if you want some suggestions.

Jason is right, whatever the reason why... you do have to tap into yourself and figure out what is causing the resistance or how you are getting in your own way.

There's lots of non-specific things that can do it.... and you certainly have a pile of stuff on your plate. When my mum almost died last year, I handled it fairly well through the crisis but sagged afterwards for a couple of months when everything was "normal" again. I lost myself in renovations and making a new garden and although all that work about killed me, it also cured the flat feeling.... I think because I was building something, creating my life, my space and a new future/fresh start.

[KYHockey3 0]

when i have bad times like yours, i try to just get away for a while.

vacations usually help me, but that didnt work for you.

getting your mind off your problems for a while and doing things like project or hockey can really help.

allways remember that you situation could be worse, and try too think positive

[mack 44]

SD-

Obviously I don't know what the specifics are with your situation(s) but I've had about as much stress as I can take over the last year. I bottle a lot of stuff up and digest it, so my release is running/gym/etc. If it's getting bad and I feel like I'm about to lose it I'll just go out for a run. I may be out 1, 2 or 3 hours but I'm burning out all the crap I've ingested so it doesn't eat me alive.

[Storm 0]

I've found myself to be brash and rude, overly opinionated and damn mean lately. Little things I usually can pass off irritate the hell out of me,

Your symptoms are the cause.

[ktang 34]

Have you had trouble sleeping? It reads like you have all the symptoms of clinical depression, and the extra tiredness would contribute to your irritability.

I don't know how your work benefits are structured, but perhaps a visit to a doctor and some short-term disability would help you out of "the pit". If you're in the state of mind that it can only worsen and that your friends and relatives can't help, you may need professional help.

[Duder84 0]

Hard as it is, try and see the positives. One major one is you're still alive and able to discern your problems. Thats a great start. The main thing is you have to learn to move on and not look back on things that happened to you. Learn from these experiences but don't dwell on them. Honestly speaking I don't think there is an activity or treatment you can find that will instantly make you feel better.

[sdcopp 1]

Your symptoms are the cause.

and it's become a vicious cycle of feeling more tired and becoming more irritable and harsh. It helped some to just get a little out on here, and I finally got to start playing leagues again at least to vent a bit, but I'm still feeling drained most of the time. I don't know how to rejuvenate myself to get back to good and try and maintain that. I don't know if a retreat, trip to massage therapist, etc. will work, so I'm looking to see what others have had help them perk back up.

Add to it that the last three weeks we've been wailed on with two blizzards and a decent snow/ice storm and the cabin fever that goes with that is just killing me right now. I'd love to go running or do some landscaping for someone or something, but I have to wait it out for a month or so at least to let the weather get better.

I appreciate the responses so far, it helps to connect with people who have had life crap on them too, lets you know you're not alone in the world when you get feeling that way.

[chikinpotpie 137]

This time of year is always rough on people. Lack of sunlight and warmth do have an effect on people. The UV rays make you feel better for some reason. During the holidays, its always harder to deal with problems because everyone is supposed to be happy and sometimes you just don't feel like you are supposed to feel. The best advice I can tell you is to try to knock out a few small things then work your way towards the bigger ones. These words have worked for me and they may work for you : "This too shall pass"

[warrior37 0]

im with mack, running, gym, eating healthy, boxing, maybe go to church, even look at stopping in and tanning every now and then

[Bazan110584 0]

im with mack, running, gym, eating healthy, boxing, maybe go to church, even look at stopping in and tanning every now and then

Agreed. And to add to the list, you could try volunteering at a homeless shelter/soup kitchen for an hour or so weekly. Maybe helping others will help you out of your slump.

[asdfa 0]

I would say something aggressive would help. i was feeling really bummed out over the holidays and, though i didn't really have an excuse, i was sleeping a lot and eating crap all the time. once i got back to school and started wrestling again, the intensity seemed to help me break out of a bad cycle. try to do something that's just really out of the ordinary and gives you something to focus on.

either that or think back to when you really enjoyed that, and though it may be hard, try to connect with it. i do it with music especially when i'm feeling stressed.

again whatever i've gone through is definately minor compared to your situation, i hope i've helped a bit though.

[Storm 0]

Your symptoms are the cause.

and it's become a vicious cycle of feeling more tired and becoming more irritable and harsh. It helped some to just get a little out on here, and I finally got to start playing leagues again at least to vent a bit, but I'm still feeling drained most of the time. I don't know how to rejuvenate myself to get back to good and try and maintain that. I don't know if a retreat, trip to massage therapist, etc. will work, so I'm looking to see what others have had help them perk back up.

Add to it that the last three weeks we've been wailed on with two blizzards and a decent snow/ice storm and the cabin fever that goes with that is just killing me right now. I'd love to go running or do some landscaping for someone or something, but I have to wait it out for a month or so at least to let the weather get better.

I appreciate the responses so far, it helps to connect with people who have had life crap on them too, lets you know you're not alone in the world when you get feeling that way.

I took a meditation classes.

The course was once a week for 4 weeks.

Once on my own I skipped some days until I found out I was more irritable on those days. I actually experimented ... some days I would not meditate and see how I felt. Once I realized my fuse was shorter on the days that I didn't meditate I was convinced it was working for me.

I then realized that it was my negative thoughts that were wearing me out.

It takes time to train yourself to be positive when every bone in your body tells you that you have a right to be upset.

It's not unlike weight training. At first you don't see results and then one day you look in the mirror ...

except now we're talking about the mind.

I personally feel you're on your way back up. People who blame others for how they feel are the ones who really need help.

Just in case you feel somewhat threatened by meditation.

I'm still Catholic and love meat. And yes, I still loose it every once in a while.

[jmiro 55]

seriously in my opinion you should seek professional help. the events that happened to you can cause depression. That can go away or linger forever. All your physical symptoms and moods are a direct result. As state earlier clinical depression, however there are several types of depression and several things you can do to combat it. If you dont have benifits there are free clinics, self help groups, and books. Letting people know what is going on with you is the first step. As cheesey as this sounds id check it out. Check out a good psych doctor not a family doctor. Family doctors are not as knowledge and a good family doctor should refer you out. Or see a lisencedtherapist with a good rep. these would include an LSW LCSW LPC. You could try some cognitive behavioral therapy approaches you can learn on your own. Just google it. Hope this helps.

[fatwabbit 93]

take a step back, deep breath and try to relax yourself before doing anything... like hockeymom said, some meditation would be great. Leave the kid with some family members for a day or two, and just connect with yourself

also, you can focus your energies into your kid.. spend as much time as you can with him/her... kids usually take the blues away. I believe that my son is a gift ... and is really a blessing to my marraige.

[BK 0]

I drive until I get lost.

The more frustrated/upset I am, the further I drive.

Hard on the wallet but works wonders for relationships.

[sdcopp 1]

Thanks again everyone, it means a ton to me that this community can be turned to for more than the latest and greatest in hockey equipment.

[NuggyBuggy 0]

This time of year is always rough on people. Lack of sunlight and warmth do have an effect on people. The UV rays make you feel better for some reason.

It's called Seasonal Affective Disorder, and it sounds like you may live in a region where SAD tends to be more prevalent. One of the treatments is exposure to bright light, which can be done with (special) artificial lighting. It's not the UV per se which is helpful; in fact when using light therapy it is important to select a light source which has the UV filtered out.

As someone else pointed out, you should seek a professional evaluation. I would begin by going to my family doctor and asking for a referral to a specialist. You have gone through a lot so maybe what you're going through is normal, but symptoms like these can point to problems too serious to be diagnosed by lay people.

[BK 0]

Thanks again everyone, it means a ton to me that this community can be turned to for more than the latest and greatest in hockey equipment.

I learn a new word every day from just reading mack's posts lol.

[jmiro 55]

This time of year is always rough on people. Lack of sunlight and warmth do have an effect on people. The UV rays make you feel better for some reason.

It's called Seasonal Affective Disorder, and it sounds like you may live in a region where SAD tends to be more prevalent. One of the treatments is exposure to bright light, which can be done with (special) artificial lighting. It's not the UV per se which is helpful; in fact when using light therapy it is important to select a light source which has the UV filtered out.

As someone else pointed out, you should seek a professional evaluation. I would begin by going to my family doctor and asking for a referral to a specialist. You have gone through a lot so maybe what you're going through is normal, but symptoms like these can point to problems too serious to be diagnosed by lay people.

that is what i said. so if two people tell you the same thing take a look. I am a professional in this area.