U16 Hockey: What happened to kids having heart?

[Chadd 916]

Actually, if he didn't hit the goalie and, in your opinion, there was no intent to hit the goalie with his stick then there would have been no call. Now, had he dropped an f-bomb or if he had smashed his stick in response to a call/non-call made by the officials then you could have hit him with a minor for unsportsmanlike but that is about it.

You miss the point.

Hardly. A referee's job is to enforce the rules, not play parent.

Unsportsmanlike Conduct, or Gross Misconduct (making a travesty of the game) could be called.

USAH eliminated the gross a number of years ago.

Good thing the Gross Misconduct is still in Canada...

It's redundant. Any time you use a gross, a game or match will work just fine. Most of the time, the gross was not the appropriate call, hence the change for USAH.

[Jarick 5]

For me as a kid, I was lazy because I didn't want to play, but my parents pushed me to. I stopped having fun and stopped playing altogether because of it, and didn't put on skates for another 10 years.

Really, the heart of it is the parents. If they're pushing the kids to play, it's not good for the kids or the team. If they aren't disciplining or raising their kids right, it's not good for the kids or the team.

I've always thought there should be more recreational leagues for kids. Once they hit about 10 years it seems that it ramps up in terms of practices, competition, and intensity. Maybe there is and I just am not really aware of it.

I've never coached, but I think the only thing you can do is send him to the showers and inform his parents. Does the league have a no tolerance policy or a three strikes and out? I'd be surprised if you can pull this kind of stunt a few times and still play in the league.

[fastbrother7 0]

The lazy kids virtually always means parents who want them to play, more than they actually want to play. I get annoyed like you do though ... "if you don't want to play ... then why the hell have you turned up?!?!"

As everyone else has said, just reward the kids that do want to try and learn with more ice time.

We only run an inline team, but the U-18's who work hard and want to learn, come and train (and play some games) with the mens team (as size and contact not such an issue in roller). We hope this displays some sort of reward for their hard efforts, as well as teaching them the more balanced approach to the game of hockey that maybe they don't learn at the younger age groups where they are the stars.

Reality out of 15 kids at U-14/16's, I bet you will only have 10 still playing at 18's/21's then about 5 by the time Beer and women are discovered fully!!!

You can take the old horsey to water but you can't make him drink eh?

haha yeah. I can't believe Im at the "back in my day" stage of my life. Its all downhill from here! Im not sure if any of you watch the xgames, but theres a guy named Dane Ferguson who does the freestyle snow machine X stuff (flips, crazy stuff, etc.), he won the gold last year. I literally played with every year of youth comp hockey with that guy( about 6-7 years ), and he was crazy back then (he's simmered down a bit surprisingly), and as rebellious as he was then, even he never acted the way some of these kids act, and I know his home life wasnt perfect. So no excuses.

[ktang 34]

Actually, if he didn't hit the goalie and, in your opinion, there was no intent to hit the goalie with his stick then there would have been no call. Now, had he dropped an f-bomb or if he had smashed his stick in response to a call/non-call made by the officials then you could have hit him with a minor for unsportsmanlike but that is about it.

You miss the point.

Hardly. A referee's job is to enforce the rules, not play parent.

Unsportsmanlike Conduct, or Gross Misconduct (making a travesty of the game) could be called.

USAH eliminated the gross a number of years ago.

Good thing the Gross Misconduct is still in Canada...

It's redundant. Any time you use a gross, a game or match will work just fine. Most of the time, the gross was not the appropriate call, hence the change for USAH.

Within the game the player gets ejected, the consequences of a Gross, Game, and Match is about the same (except that the Match would put the player's team down for a Major). However, after the game, the ramifications for these three types of penalties is different.

Suspensions for Gross Misconducts are longer here (e.g. half a season, 1 year, 3 years) than they are for Game Misconducts, because it is considered to be a travesty to the game of hockey. A Game Misconduct is for being disrespectful or disruptive (usually verbally) to an on-ice opponent or on-ice official, so the suspension is less severe (can be 0 additional games). Match Penalties are for deliberate intent to injure, and can have lenient to severe suspension consequences (e.g. 1 yr suspension for the OHL case).

So, I like having the Gross Misconduct in Canada, because there are definitely some circumstances where the game of hockey itself is being disrespected (if you don't like the game enough to respect it, why are you playing it?). Here it seems to get called early in the season, the hearing is held, the story ripples out, and the other coaches and players think before acting out more for the rest of the season.

fastbrother, I am sorry about how some kids are these days. You did the right thing. I've been on teams where some of the guys didn't give a shit and it pissed me off to no end. Although I regret it now, I once called out a teammate of mine(I centered his line) for not trying when me and my other linemate were busting our balls out there. I did end up apologizing, but I just knw what you mean about some kids. I play for the love of the game and because its all I have ever wanted to do. I'm trying to make it back into the game after surgery and after 3 doctors have told me that my back is toast, and then I go watch my team play and some of the kids dont give a shit or put down other teammates when they are trying their best.

Good luck to you with the rest of your season

Thanks, there are the ups and the downs. im sticking with it though.

I'm glad that you are. Your team might be one of the only avenues that your players will have to see what goal setting, working to achieve those goals, and team-work is all about.

[Jason Harris 31]

We explained to him that his sons attitude was poor (his son told the other coach to f*ck off under his breath several times when the coach was trying to explain some positioning tips to him in-game) and his effort was minimal (i.e hardly playing the body, shying away from contact, not backchecking, etc.).

I believe most parents would want to know when their children are acting poorly, so you should have gone up to him and said, "Hey, John, Dave was just trying to give Bobby some positioning tips when Bobby told him to f*ck off." If the guy has any type of parenting skills, he would have pulled his son right then. If that didn't work, then you could disinvite the kid from the team.

I've been coaching for six or seven years with my daughters' teams, who are mostly 12-year-olds now. I asked a girl to play defense during a practice this fall, and she told me "No, I don't want to...." That's about the worst I've had to deal with during my tenure, but to have someone backtalk like that didn't sit well with me. (Bear in mind that the girl plays defense and has stated she only wants to play defense!) After telling her to never talk to me that way again, I saw her father at the game the following morning and told him the story. He's watched enough practices to know I treat the kids with respect, so he understood my point that I don't appreciate a 12-year-old getting sassy with me. I don't know what her punishment was, but he definitely talked to her about the incident.

My point is you shouldn't allow the disrespect to grow. People always say you have to pick your battles, and I always say that I choose to fight my battles at the front line, so they never reach the back line.

[chippa13 1844]

I had something of a similar but different situation once. I was helping coach a team and we were short defensemen for a game so we put it to the room, "Anyone want to pley D today?" A kid volunteers and plays D. The next practice the kid doesn't show up and we find out one of his parents was unhappy that he played defense and purposefully didn't bring him. The next game he sat a period for not showing up without a call, just because his folks were unhappy.

[starsfan71 9]

Wow a kid cursing at his own coach is just stupid and wrong, especially a coach who is volunteering his time to coach you.

Being a player at U16 level I can really feel with you on this, I play with several kids that act like princesses on the bench when they don't get put out on the powerplay or on the last shift. It really makes your coaches and teammates hate you.

[thorbs 2]

I'm in southeast Asia in Taiwan and run into many of the same problems...I thought it was because there isn't a strong history of sports culture here, but maybe it's just a generational thing?

[eric42434224 1]

An example from the Education field (One of my degrees is in Education and I taught for a few years) is to get control immediately.

Not a day or a week later, but from the very first minute. If you do not lay down the rules and enforce them from the very first minute, you will be attempting to regain respect and control....and it is extremely difficult to do so.

The sad thing is that there are kids that show respect and work hard right from day one...they were raised right....but if the slackers and jokers are allowed to run free, they will influence the good kids...seen it many times.

[Zamboni 6]

Had a kid get a 2 minute penalty for "effin ref, he slashed me, where's the effin call?' Sent my captain out, asked the ref to come to the bench and made sure the whole team hear me demand the player get 10 also. Next game, similar-ref warns my bench about language. I ask him what he's waiting for, give them 10-not just 2. Kids picked it up quick, no more language issues.

[NYRSinceBirth 0]

I'm all for supporting the kid if he's got a point. My HS wrestling coach would laugh with me when I flipped over a botch match or quick pin. One thing I could never imagine was going after the coach. Maybe it was because he would put me in my place when I was wrong and support me when I was right, but the work and time coached put in always made me shy away from blaming them. So if a kid is going to be ungrateful as to lash out or be a smart ass towards the coach, bench hime/send him home/toss him, do what's necessary because it's pretty messed up for an athlete to disregard someone who is there to only help/guide them.

[fastbrother7 0]

Yeah, we basically enforce a strict language and conduct policy. Any backtalk, we send them off the ice-even during games. The last game we played ( I run defense, and the other coaches run the offense ), we had 7 minutes left in the game and I played 3 D after sending one off the ice for his attitude, and the other I benched for his attitude.