Help with my U10

[jmiro 55]

I am gonna try keep this short.  My boy is a an 09 U10 age 8.  He played one year of mite.  So this is his second season playing.  He did little pens learn to play, various camps, a ton of skating lessons, individual lessons, etc. He has an excellent skill set.  This year they placed him on the top travel team because he has the skill. Only 4 09s made it.  Please keep reading i am not saying this to gloat.  He is great at individual drills.  So tryouts he looks great.  We are to months into practice and he looks miserable.  Doesn't want to go to the rink anymore.  So I ask him what's wrong.  He is not having fun.  Well to me that's the most important part.  So I am paying attention now.  He doesn't under stand the drills.  He doesn't understand the rules.  All the coach does is yell also curse.  Making the whole team skat e laps for one person messing up on a drill. Won't let the kids try other positions.  That's out of his mouth.  My kid getting yelled at for going offsides.  Not one coach asked him if he understood offices which he didnt. I am watching practice and notice that there is little to no "fun" it seems to be all systems drills.  The coach is even isolating the 09s. He is telling them to get there "asses moving" and said that they all sucked today.  This is not an elite team.  He didn't try out for our elite team.  Is the goal at this age to teach and have fun??  How can I make it fun for him again?  He is eight and I don't want him to quit be cause of this. 

Edited August 31, 2018 by jmiro

[puckpilot 312]

Ummmm wtf is with that coach?

To give a different view of things, my nephew is a couple years ahead of your kid, and he's on the rep A team, with paid coaches, which I believe is about as high as you can go. All last year I took him to practice at least once a week--he has three a week on top of games--and I saw kids mess up drills all the time, and I've never seen or heard of the coach yell at a kid for doing so. If a kid keeps messing up the drill, the coach stops and explains it to the kid. If they still don't get it, the coach has them sit out and watch those who do understand run through a few times. That usually fixes things. 

Usually at the end of practice, the coach has a mini game drill as a treat for the kids to keep things fun.

Though, I've heard my nephew talk about bag skates after games in which they didn't listen to the coach and didn't do well. But my nephew hasn't ever complained about having to going to the rink, so I'm sure bag skate doesn't mean what it typically means. After games, the coach has a private talk with the team before parents are allowed in. Regardless of win or lose, I've never gone into the dressing room and felt that the kids were beat down. They're always laughing, even if they blew a 4 goal lead in the third. 

I don't know what your options are, but if you can shift your kid to another team, that might be a good thing. When my nephew was your son's age, the focus was more on skills development so everyone got to play different positions. There weren't any systems. Now this isn't to say, I didn't see other teams play systems, but I didn't see the point.

Any way, my 2 cents. It's worth what you paid. And best of luck to you and your kid.

 

 

[jmiami 4]

Sounds like the coach should not be coaching kids of that age-level.   The way you describe his methods, they might be okay at a high-school/Juniors/college level, but not for kids who are 8 or 9 years old. When kids are that age they should be encouraged to try things out, ask questions, and not be afraid to make mistakes while learning the game. I had great coaches from age 9 on upward.  Perhaps it was because they had played at high levels (almost all had played NCAA or minor pro), and knew that it is counter-productive to treat a 9 year old the same way you'd treat an 18 year old. Most of all, I remember that I had tons of fun, and I credit our coaches for that. The only time I had a coach who was a prick was in high-school. There were bag skates, yelling, the whole nine yards. But by then we were all 16-17 and it just rolled off our backs. Nobody took it personally.

Here is what I suggest. You mention that your kid is on a travel team. I assume that means there is a house league too? I would pull him off the travel team and have him play house league for a year or two before going back to travel, hopefully with a different coach in his new age-bracket.  With reduced pressure in house league it might make him realize if he really likes the game, or not. 

But I think the most important thing is what your kid wants to do. If he doesn't even want to play house-league because of his experience with this coach, it might be time to hang up the skates for a while. If he misses the game enough, he can always come back.

 

[Vet88 674]

Sack the coach? Just kidding but he sounds like a real pita if that is how he coaches kids. I was talking to 2 well known swedish coaches last year and the most important thing they emphasized for kids under 10 in their system - it has to be FUN, regardless of their skill set. For example one of the best times my kids had training was one year when they did a 3 month intensive course for the junior olympics. Different stations with coaches set up around the rink and kids just drifted from station to station trying things out and trying to beat their own pb's. No pressure to try anything, just have fun and the improvement in the skills (video analysis before and after the course) was quite an eye opener for a totally unstructured training course. 

I'd pull him out now because you aren't going to change how someone coaches, ask around about other teams / coaches. Forget about the level, look for something that makes him enjoy skating and playing again. Even if you just explain to him that we are not going to worry about your skills for the rest of the season (they will naturally get better if he keeps skating), the focus is to have fun with no pressure. Drop him back into his age group? 

[jmiro 55]

Thanks this is what i was thinking.  But wanted to see how off base i was.  He is in his age group.  He just missed the cut off to stay a mite.  I honestly think most of the other parents dont mind due to lack of knowledge of the game, we arent in a hockey hot bed, also most of the kids on his team play the elite travel.  Our in house stinks and there is a bteam that i had discussed my concerns with my son having skill and no knowledge with at "try outs" evaluations.  Prior to practice he offered to take my son.  Dont know if the offer is still on the table.

[marka 526]

Howdy,

Yeah, ditto to others here.  If it were me in your position I might try talking to the coach first, but if you've seen him being an asshole on the ice with the kids yourself (vs. hearing just one side of it from your kid), I'd probably not bother.  Pull your kid out of the team and let the people that run the program know exactly why.

Sorry to hear that's happening.

Mark

[darkhors 88]

They shouldn't be running "systems" yet at that age. Fundamentals and basic knowledge of positioning is the most important thing outside of making it fun for them. I agree with everyone, pull your kid out and get them on another team a.s.a.p before he never wants to play the game again. That would be the worst thing to happen.

Edited August 31, 2018 by darkhors

[Santos L Halper 90]

1 hour ago, jmiro said:

I am gonna try keep this short.  My boy is a an 09 U10 age 8.  He played one year of mite.  So this is his second season playing.  He did little pens learn to play, various camps, a ton of skating lessons, individual lessons, etc. He has an excellent skill set.  This year they placed him on the top travel team because he has the skill. Only 4 09s made it.  Please keep reading i am not saying this to gloat.  He is great at individual drills.  So tryouts he looks great.  We are to months into practice and he looks miserable.  Doesn't want to go to the rink anymore.  So I ask him what's wrong.  He is not having fun.  Well to me that's the most important part.  So I am paying attention now.  He doesn't under stand the drills.  He doesn't understand the rules.  All the coach does is yell also curse.  Making the whole team skat e laps for one person messing up on a drill. Won't let the kids try other positions.  That's out of his mouth.  my kids getting yelled at for going offsides.  Not one coach asked him if he understood offices which he didnt. I am watching practice and notice that there is little to no "fun" it seems to be all systems drills.  The coach is even isolating the 09s. He is telling them to get there passes moving and said that they all sucked today.  This is not an elite team.  He didn't try out for our elite team.  Is the goal at this age to teach and have fun??  How can I make it fun for him again?  He is eight and I don't want him to quit be cause of this. 

Let me begin by saying that, as a professional, paid, youth hockey coach, hearing stuff like this breaks my heart.  THEY'RE.  FREAKING.  EIGHT.  YEARS.  OLD.  No matter how seriously the coaches (and parents...honestly, the parents are generally every bit as bad as the coaches at this age) take it, this is NOT the NHL.  And, what's more, nothing - NOTHING - that happens in any kid's 10U Minor season will either increase or decrease his chances of playing in college/getting drafted/playing in the NHL.  Well...almost nothing.  The one exception to this rule is, if the experience is SO negative for the player that s/he quits forever, I can GUARANTEE you that s/he'll never progress to a high level of hockey...    

Anyway. Instead of focusing on skill development, it sounds like your kid's coach is going to waste the entire year trying to teach 'systems' to a group of kids that do not, I REPEAT - DO NOT - have the mental capacity to understand what it is they are learning.  Studies have proven again and again that treating kids like they're miniature adults doesn't work.  A child's brain does not process information in the same way the adult brain does.  It just freaking DOESN'T.  The kids may be able to learn the mechanics of the systems...but they won't learn the 'why'; and they certainly won't learn the strategies behind them.  They won't be able to repeat what they learn and, in the end, they won't become better hockey players.  Put differently, solely in the name of winning, this coach seems dead set on trying to create a group of little robots that have no creativity, no individual playmaking skills, and no hockey sense.  And, for your kid anyway, no fun either. 

(Thing is, though...I GUARANTEE that your kid isn't the only one not having fun...)

So.  Enough about why this coach sucks...because let's face it, no matter how many utterly meaningless 10U state/national/global/universal championships he's won, if he's teaching systems at 10U and all he does is yell and curse, he does, in fact, suck. The question you have to wrestle with is, what do you do now?

I'd agree with the others that you probably need to get your kid off that team.  It sounds like your house leagues are a bit of a joke (don't worry - ours are, too...) and it sounds like you have at least a cordial relationship with the B team's coach.  I'd leverage that and see if you can't make a change.  If not and the rosters are set, a year off from competitive hockey at 8 years old isn't going to hurt his long term development - just keep getting him on the ice in a positive environment where he leaves smiling and, most importantly, wants to come back the next time. 

One caveat though - in any discussion you have with ANY person that's part of your club, I'd make sure that you keep the discussion about YOUR KID - NOT the coach.  You don't want to get into a situation where you're saying things like, "that coach is a jerk" or "all that coach does is yell and curse" or "my son hates that coach".  All of that may be TRUE, but getting labeled as the dad/kid/family that can't get along with coaches is NOT a good place to be this early - particularly if you're going to stick with this club long term.  If you talk to anyone about this (current coach, club president, B team coach, other parents, ANYONE other than your immediate family), just say that it's become apparent that your son wasn't ready for that level yet and that you want to back off before he begins to hate hockey.  If people give you a hard time about it, simply say, "I understand, but this is what's right for my son at this point.  The last thing I want is to push this now and wind up with a 12 year old that hates coming to the rink!" 

Never forget - this is a marathon, not a sprint.  A million things have to 'go right' for any one kid to 'make it' with hockey...and, ultimately, the vast majority of those things are COMPLETELY out of our control as parents.  As such, I believe it is our duty to make sure that we parents do the best we can with the things we CAN control...and this situation is one you can control.  Get your kid back to a place where he has fun at the rink.  Do it quickly.  And do it without apologizing to anyone.  

Good luck.  And please report back.  I definitely want to hear how your son is doing.

[marka 526]

Howdy,

59 minutes ago, Santos L Halper said:

One caveat though - in any discussion you have with ANY person that's part of your club, I'd make sure that you keep the discussion about YOUR KID - NOT the coach.  You don't want to get into a situation where you're saying things like, "that coach is a jerk" or "all that coach does is yell and curse" or "my son hates that coach".  All of that may be TRUE, but getting labeled as the dad/kid/family that can't get along with coaches is NOT a good place to be this early - particularly if you're going to stick with this club long term.  If you talk to anyone about this (current coach, club president, B team coach, other parents, ANYONE other than your immediate family), just say that it's become apparent that your son wasn't ready for that level yet and that you want to back off before he begins to hate hockey.  If people give you a hard time about it, simply say, "I understand, but this is what's right for my son at this point.  The last thing I want is to push this now and wind up with a 12 year old that hates coming to the rink!" 

Never forget - this is a marathon, not a sprint.  A million things have to 'go right' for any one kid to 'make it' with hockey...and, ultimately, the vast majority of those things are COMPLETELY out of our control as parents.  As such, I believe it is our duty to make sure that we parents do the best we can with the things we CAN control...and this situation is one you can control.  Get your kid back to a place where he has fun at the rink.  Do it quickly.  And do it without apologizing to anyone.  

Good luck.  And please report back.  I definitely want to hear how your son is doing.

Yeah... Can't agree here.  That's how a shitty coach like this keeps being a shitty coach ruining hockey for kids.

You don't need to be an ass about it, but you certainly can and should tell the club why you're taking your kid out of the program.  If the culture is so toxic there that explaining something like that labels you negatively, then frankly that club wasn't going to ever not suck anyway.

Mark

[jmiro 55]

I preemptively apologize for the soap opera/train wreck that is to follow.  Some of you wanted an update.

So talked to the hockey director. He highly encouraged me to talk to the coach if not for any other reason out of respect.  I tried to keep it about my kid, however was kinda pushed when I got the song and dance about that's were your kid was evaluated at.  I tried the route that he is not having fun.  I did minimize how much the coach yells and did say he curses at the kids didn't appreciate it. My boys best friend's dad, which I am friends, with comes in 3 hours after me.  He make no qualms about the coach doesn't want his kid moved. He gets the same thing.   He is less tactful than me and meets the coach on tuesday. A mother from the B team asked how my boy was liking it and I said he is miserable.  Her reply was "I heard no one was having fun in that team." It didn't come from me or my friend.

I speak to the team manager because I am told that everything must go through her.  I get the same he is so nice and a good player.  I email the coach. Now I am in a conference call with the coach and team manager that goes exactly the same as the prior two conversations.  Looking for an end to this call I reiterate my concerns for my son being over his head and not having fun.  What are My options? Could he change teams?  I Get "talk" to the next guy in the food chain. In my opinion I gave this guy an out so he could recommend my son move to the other team.  Now I am stuck talking to a board member.

My wife says he not getting anything from this get a hold of the next guy.  I suggest to my son that he should talk to the coach.  He says all that guy does is yell and he would rather not play. So now I got to move up the food chain.  I believe the damage is done even if things did change he doesn't want to be on that team.  Which is a shame he gets along with the other kids. Now I look like that squeaky wheel.  I just want him to have fun. At 8 years old he really can't effect change himself and to him it's a fun game that's not fun right now.  I didn't let him try out for the elite team because he wasn't ready and doesn't have that compete level.  On the bright side tomorrow he is excited to get invited to a pick up roller hockey tourney (which he only ever plays pick up with us old men)  So I know for sure it isn't that he is burnt out on hockey.

 

 

Edited September 1, 2018 by jmiro

[puckpilot 312]

I encourage you to stick to your guns. The good news is you know it isn't just you or your kid. And at least your kid knows you got his back, and you know he still loves hockey. Don't know what's going to happen as you move up the food chain, but the nuclear option is probably being really frank about the coach with the higher ups, and if that falls on deaf ears, tell them either you kid gets moved or your kid sits out. Because sending a kid into a crappy situation like that is not a healthy option.

Also, I know this is going to sound sneaky, but I'd start recording phone conversations if possible, just so you don't get into a he-said-she-said situation.

[badger_14 601]

11 hours ago, jmiro said:

I preemptively apologize for the soap opera/train wreck that is to follow.  Some of you wanted an update.

So talked to the hockey director. He highly encouraged me to talk to the coach if not for any other reason out of respect.  I tried to keep it about my kid, however was kinda pushed when I got the song and dance about that's were your kid was evaluated at.  I tried the route that he is not having fun.  I did minimize how much the coach yells and did say he curses at the kids didn't appreciate it. My boys best friend's dad, which I am friends, with comes in 3 hours after me.  He make no qualms about the coach doesn't want his kid moved. He gets the same thing.   He is less tactful than me and meets the coach on tuesday. A mother from the B team asked how my boy was liking it and I said he is miserable.  Her reply was "I heard no one was having fun in that team." It didn't come from me or my friend.

I speak to the team manager because I am told that everything must go through her.  I get the same he is so nice and a good player.  I email the coach. Now I am in a conference call with the coach and team manager that goes exactly the same as the prior two conversations.  Looking for an end to this call I reiterate my concerns for my son being over his head and not having fun.  What are My options? Could he change teams?  I Get "talk" to the next guy in the food chain. In my opinion I gave this guy an out so he could recommend my son move to the other team.  Now I am stuck talking to a board member.

My wife says he not getting anything from this get a hold of the next guy.  I suggest to my son that he should talk to the coach.  He says all that guy does is yell and he would rather not play. So now I got to move up the food chain.  I believe the damage is done even if things did change he doesn't want to be on that team.  Which is a shame he gets along with the other kids. Now I look like that squeaky wheel.  I just want him to have fun. At 8 years old he really can't effect change himself and to him it's a fun game that's not fun right now.  I didn't let him try out for the elite team because he wasn't ready and doesn't have that compete level.  On the bright side tomorrow he is excited to get invited to a pick up roller hockey tourney (which he only ever plays pick up with us old men)  So I know for sure it isn't that he is burnt out on hockey.

 

 

Am I clear in reading that they're - if not disallowing - then discouraging you from taking him off the team?  Sounds like they want to cash your checks. 

It sounds like other folks are having similar issues with the coach's behavior.  (Cussing out U10s is not appropriate behavior for an adult.  It just isn't.) 

I wouldn't suggest your son talk to the coach.  He's 8, after all - he's still at an age where it's the adults' responsibility to make a majority of the choices and set the example for appropriate boundaries and behavior.  That's way too heavy a position to put the kid in. 

But it's clear he's not having fun, he isn't enjoying or looking forward to hockey time, and as long as the determining factor (the coach) remains, that's not going to change, no matter how much he likes the other kids.  (And kids will put up with a *lot* if they think it pleases the adults they look up to).  I think at this point I would tell the organization "listen, this team is just not a good fit for our family right now, we've decided to switch."  Be clear and firm, but phrasing it that way keeps it neutral.  Is this an area where this specific organization is all there is?  Are there other options around - town programs, house leagues?  Are you financially sunk or do you need a release from this team to play on another team in the same league? 

[jmiro 55]

Already paid up and logisticaly this is the only club we can do. 

Great news is he had a blast at roller today.  I havent seen him have so much fun and skated so hard.  What a laid back supportive atmosphere.

[jmiro 55]

Final chapter.  I emailed the board.  Made it strictly about my sons lack of expeirence and not having fun.  I did speak the other coach prior, but made it only about my son.  Apparently the other team needed players and he likes my son having coached him last year.  Got an email today that even though this is not typical protocol they granted our request, considering other circumstance, and this may not happen in the future.  

My son is happy his new coach reached out immediately to welcome us and talked to him.  We didnt have to go through a team manager.  He starts practice tomorrow.  

THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT.

[badger_14 601]

I'm so glad it's worked out for the both of you!  Enjoy the season.  🙂

[Santos L Halper 90]

On 9/3/2018 at 10:24 AM, jmiro said:

Final chapter.  I emailed the board.  Made it strictly about my sons lack of expeirence and not having fun.  I did speak the other coach prior, but made it only about my son.  Apparently the other team needed players and he likes my son having coached him last year.  Got an email today that even though this is not typical protocol they granted our request, considering other circumstance, and this may not happen in the future.  

My son is happy his new coach reached out immediately to welcome us and talked to him.  We didnt have to go through a team manager.  He starts practice tomorrow.  

THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT.

Dude!  Awesome!  I'm so glad this worked out for the best!

Have a fantastic season and, win, lose, or tie; never forget to let your kid know how proud you are to be his dad!

____________________

Behind the cut, one thing that I'd add - it may be worth doing the mental gymnastics of considering how you're going to handle it if you guys get put on the previous coach's team next year...or two years from now...or five.  Obviously, your kid will mature and develop and your and your family's attitudes to youth hockey will evolve...and, in the end, perhaps it'll be a complete non-issue. But, if you at least put it on your 'mental map' now, you'll have somewhere other than 'OH SHIT! WHAT NOW!??!?!!' to fall back on if it does, indeed, happen....

Just food for thought...

Edited September 5, 2018 by Santos L Halper
Clarity...

[jmiro 55]

I have thought of that.  His boy will be moving to peewee next year. There is a good chance in the future, if he keeps playing,he will run into.  My boys new team and old team split ice for practice this week.  I made it a point to at least approach him, shake his hand, and say Sorry it didnt work work out.  He was brief, but cordial. My friend spoke with him about his boy and his concerns.  He said he would work on it.  We will see.  As for my, kid the damage was done and he was done with the team.  To be honest this may be the last season of travel for a bit for my son as this has also prompted him to want to try football and/or other fall sports.  Which i am okay with.  Either he can hang em up or at least play the in house. Some not so competive hockey may be real good for him.  

Edited September 8, 2018 by jmiro

[Santos L Halper 90]

1 hour ago, jmiro said:

I have thougbt of that.  His boy will be moving to peewee next year. There is a good chance in the future, if he keeps playing,he will run into.  My boys new team and old team split ice for practice this week.  I made it a point to at least approach him, shake his hand, and say Sorry it didnt work work out.  He was brief, but cordial. My friend spoke with him about his boy and his concerns.  He said he would work on it.  We will see.  As for my, kid the damage was done and he was done with the team.  To be honest this may be the last season of travel for a bit for my son as this has also prompted him to want to try football and/or other fall sports.  Which i am okay with.  Either he can hang em up or at least play the in house. Some not so competive hockey may be real good for him.  

In a perfect world, these things wouldn't happen...but, as we all know, the world isn't perfect and asshats that shouldn't coach all too often wind up with a helmet and a whistle.  It's just your lousy luck that you got to experience this at 10U.  While I agree that intensity and accountability are important things to teach at any level, cursing at 9 year olds and teaching systems play to kids that don't have the mental capacity to understand is simply inexcusable.  On behalf of GOOD coaches everywhere, I just want to say that I'm very sorry you and your son had to go through this at such a young age. 

Anyway.  Moving on.  As an objective observer, the only thing I would say about future hockey plans is that I would caution you guys about making any decisions while these wounds are still raw.  Let the bad feelings dissipate and encourage your son to embrace his new team as a fresh start.  Then, see how this year plays out and, as the season winds down next spring, you can start talking about what's next as far as hockey goes.  Maybe he'll have an absolute blast on the B team and will be raring to go for his 10U major season...maybe he'll be done with competitive hockey.  Either way, it sounds as if you'll be fine with it...which is AWESOME...but I would definitely wait a while before making any decisions there. 

Finally, regarding in-house hockey: There is a stigma that gets attached to in house hockey that really freaking irritates me.  Let me lay it out simply - There is nothing WRONG with in house hockey!  The kids that play in house don't love hockey any less than the AAA kids - in fact, they probably love it a hell of a lot more, because there's almost no pressure and there usually aren't any overbearing adults around that are treating every ice touch like it's Game 7 of The Stanley Cup Finals.  The kids playing in house hockey are playing hockey because they derive JOY from playing the game!  No, those kids are probably not going to play in the NHL; but....news flash...the vast, VAST, VAST majority of the AAA kids aren't either!!!  And, let me tell you, as a coach, the in-house kids are (usually) infinitely more fun to work with than the AAA kids that have been told since they were 6 that they're the next Connor Fucking McDavid.  There is precious little in this world that is more irritating than a 12 year old that never hears the word 'NO' and has been enabled by every adult in his life into thinking that it's okay to be a insensitive, self-important, prick.  Create a team full of 15 of those kids and their obnoxious, know-it-all parents, and, ugh...there's a reason I turn down AAA coaching opportunities. 

Anyway.  Have a blast with hockey this year!!!  And next year, regardless of whether your son wants to play football, soccer, or in-house hockey, I hope the both of you march in there with heads high!!!

Best of luck!

[jmiro 55]

So as the season closes I felt I needed to this thread.  My son thoroughly enjoyed this season.  The team he was on rolled lines no matter what the situtation.  All the kids got equal playing time and played all postions.  The coach didn't care about the score or rankings.  They are finishing up the season with a 9-2 record currently. Win or lose the kids, including mines, attitude a have been great.  The parents are great too.  Even when they were getting smoked 11-0 in placement games with 4 shots on goal.  At times I questioned my family's decision.  The other team splits ice with my boys team for practice.  I still see the coach making them do push ups or skate for messing up drills.  I haven't heard him scream or curse but didn't pay much attention. My son and I went to watch his best friend play on the the other team.  He got a total of 4 minutes of playing the whole game. There were several other kids that also saw minimal playing time. A couple kids were double shifted. The shifts for the kids that weren't seeing minimal playing time seemed excessively long compared to 30 seconds or less for those kids riding the pine. One parent i know made the comment his kid was the back up goaltender.  Back up at U10.  My boys best friends father confirmed that his child has seen approx. 60min of playing in 13 games and has since quit the team.  I also witnessed the coach getting in a ridiculous screaming match with the red at the end of the game.  I truly hope some of the parents on that team honestly fill out the scale at the end of the season.  Once again this is a U10 travel that everyone trying out makes one of the two teams and are placed according to their "skills".  No one gets cut as my boys ex coach reminded his whole team when rumors of my boy being cut circulated.  The club has an elite team for this.

Edited January 29, 2019 by jmiro

[marka 526]

Howdy,

Glad your kid is having fun playing hockey.  That other team/coach sounds like a disaster.

Mark

[puckpilot 312]

Glad things worked out for your kid. Sad that that "coach" doesn't get hoisted up on his petard. That's a silly way to run a team at that level. 

[chk hrd 164]

I did my time through the youth hockey grinder (both as a coach and parent). I'm your son is having fun and give you a lot of credit for handling it the way you did. Systems are fine and dandy for older and upper levels, but because hockey is so fluid, systems fall apart when the game starts. Most parents have never seen drill diagrams drawn out, they look like road maps to an alien planet. Some drills can get complicated and trying to explain them to young minds doesn't work.

Bottom line is it's a freakin' game. If the kids aren't having fun then why do it. I've seen kids take development leaps and bounds by going to stick and puck or playing pick up because they are free to try anything they want and not get hammered for it. Things they wouldn't dare try in practice. I have always thought a player's body will figure out the basics for them and a coach fine tunes it.

Not ever kids wants to play at elite levels which is completely fine. It's the players who are forced to do this that suffers. You did good for you kid.

[Vet88 674]

On 1/30/2019 at 11:36 AM, jmiro said:

My son thoroughly enjoyed this season.  The team he was on rolled lines no matter what the situtation.  All the kids got equal playing time and played all postions.  The coach didn't care about the score or rankings.  

Those 4 sentences are what every parent should be able to say at the end of the season. You nailed it, I'd say your son will be back next year and you don't need to be a rocket scientist to work out which coach he will want....

[jmiro 55]

thanks again for the feedback and support.  Heck his coach even got me playing drop in again...  My boy now is even trying goal.  I realize now more than ever i am just along for the ride and time is already going to quick.

[Bshoe 3]

Hello my son is the best friend of the boy mentioned by jmiro. My son was kept on the first team mentioned and it was a total nightmare. He was the youngest on the team and was bullied from the get go even though I was assured this wouldn’t be the case. He put up with hazing and also most recently being benched for being too rough, despite only having 3 minor penalties in 13 games. He through hard work drew 7 power play chances for his team despite playing minimal minutes. He was never allowed to play on the PP or the PK so this was very disappointing to him. His last game that he played ended with him quitting the team in tears because he was benched for a convienent coaching reason. He hated going to practice and games where in the beginning he loved it. Oh how I wish we had do overs in life. Is there any recourse now, we emailed the coach, hockey directo, and president of travel organization and haven’t even received a response. Any guidance would be appreciated.