Things to do to relieve stress..?

[Fire0nIce228 1]

My girlfriend is stressing like mad over school... It's horribly bad for her. She's a freshman, and I think shes having a really hard time dealing with all the new stuff being thrown her way..She goes to a different college than me, about an hour away.. Anyways.. the long and short of it is she has a bit of a history of health or mental problems..(a stint with eating disorders and a vitamin deficiency) before we got together. Now, shes telling me she thinks that all the stress and stuff she's dealing with for school is physically making her sick, or feel sick all the time. Like..she says shes been feeling light headed and stuff.. This is a real serious thing for her and for me, and I've looked up some stuff on the internet to try and help her, but it all seems to be stuff thats way too much money or something I'm not capable of doing like self mediation or hypnosis or somethin crazy like that.. You guys got any suggestions for something I could do, I mean I'd like to just take her out for a quiet dinner or something whenever I can afford it, but I just don't feel like that will be enough.. Got any suggestions I can use for her before it gets any worse? I mean, I was thinkin maybe your wife or something has a real high stress job that takes most of their attention, and maybe they rely on you to help them cope..? I dunno, any suggestions would be good..

[Juice_Slowjamz 0]

My girlfriend is stressing like mad over school... It's horribly bad for her. She's a freshman, and I think shes having a really hard time dealing with all the new stuff being thrown her way..She goes to a different college than me, about an hour away.. Anyways.. the long and short of it is she has a bit of a history of health or mental problems..(a stint with eating disorders and a vitamin deficiency) before we got together. Now, shes telling me she thinks that all the stress and stuff she's dealing with for school is physically making her sick, or feel sick all the time. Like..she says shes been feeling light headed and stuff.. This is a real serious thing for her and for me, and I've looked up some stuff on the internet to try and help her, but it all seems to be stuff thats way too much money or something I'm not capable of doing like self mediation or hypnosis or somethin crazy like that.. You guys got any suggestions for something I could do, I mean I'd like to just take her out for a quiet dinner or something whenever I can afford it, but I just don't feel like that will be enough.. Got any suggestions I can use for her before it gets any worse? I mean, I was thinkin maybe your wife or something has a real high stress job that takes most of their attention, and maybe they rely on you to help them cope..? I dunno, any suggestions would be good..

Put your thingy in her thingy.

[zochi 1]

thats worse then my reply and mine got deleted haha.

[Fire0nIce228 1]

modsj ust delete the whole thing i should know better than to ask something serious on this message board.

[Juice_Slowjamz 0]

modsj ust delete the whole thing i should know better than to ask something serious on this message board.

Word, try exploring the real world for once.

[zochi 1]

Yah hockey players + a serious conversation about girls=bad combo

[Chadd 916]

To be totally honest, you can't make everything easier for her no matter how much you try. I've always been a big believer that people need to learn to handle stress at some point and deal with things on their own. My wife is a total basket case if everything doesn't go perfectly, yet I thrive in adverse situations. Your GF should probably see a therapist as she needs to learn to cope with adversity. You should really consider if this is the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with. I'm not trying to be an ass, I really am trying to help you with that comment. If she isn't able to handle what is happening now, what makes you think things will improve. If she's worth it, do what you can.

Put your thingy in her thingy.

I thought you liked it when she put her thingy in your thingy?

[hockeymom 2]

FireonIce, never let the potential of a couple of jerky comments put you off of something.

Some of this might seem contradictory, you know your GF's situation so take what seems useful and dump the rest. You're right to be concerned and, ultimately, it is out of your control and up to her to make the appropriate choices in her life... so don't take too much of this on yourself.

Although eating disorders are a symptom of a variety of issues, one common area is esteem or self-confidence. Your GF may be feeling really insecure with all of the new stuff, and may well settle into it as she gets more comfortable or secure.

Stress does come out in the body - you end up dealing with it one way or another. Yoga is really good; physical stretching is great for stress, and yoga gets a mind + body connection that is especially helpful for people. (It is also great for hockey players' flexibility). You also want to see if she is eating properly - light-headed can suggest blood sugar out of whack from not eating properly. She might want to get that checked out by a doctor. In fact, I think she should... I'm leaping to the conclusion that this is originating from stress... it is a good idea to eliminate physical posibilities right from the get-go.

Her college will have guidance counsellors - encourage her to see them. Usually they are way better than the ones you had in HS - and they are used to helping people cope with the stress of college life (and work) and being away from home and all that is familiar for the first time.

Many colleges will have stress courses and workshops as well. It really is quite common for people to get slightly unhinged in their first year. (If you have a prof like me you tend to stay unhinged all the way through - lol)

If she is really having trouble coping with the workload, perhaps she should consider dropping a course or two. Better to get through the year successfully and adjust to it, than to try to take on too much and crash and burn. I imagine the add/drop date is coming up soon, so she should look into this and what effect it might have on any financial aid or scholarships she has.

Don't worry about the quiet dinner - time together or a conversation is WAY more important than $$ in a public place where you can't really talk.

You might be trying to "help" her by "fixing" the situation. Guys can be so prescriptive! Women tend to do WAY more "trouble talk" than guys do - just talking about what is bugging them or what they are worried about is stress relieving, and they get a lot from the connection of someone they care about listening to them empathetically. Unfortunately, in one of those really ironic quirks of fate... this tends to really distress guys! Guys get really upset that a woman they care about is twisting and, if they don't want to run away pronto, they want to rush on in there with the white hat and save the damsel in distress... or the day, or whatever... anything to just fix the problem so we can shut up about it already, and get on with everything being ok. Man! Does this ever add to women's stress loads...lol Sometimes we really are separate species.

If you are offering solutions, and she is "arguing for her limitations" - in other words, telling you why all of your good suggestions just won't work - consider backing up a bit and just listening.

Empathetic listening is not passive listening.... Stay connected, show you care and are concerned... but let her have her upset and just be an ear. Allow her to be inconsistent as she rattles around with her upset. Give her space while also lettingher know you are there for her. I had a friend be this for me recently and you have no idea how absolutely invaluable and much appreciated that great gift is. Few men have developed this talent and they are worth twice their weight in gold.

One last thing - young women (men too, for that matter) haven't "been around the block" enough to sometimes know what they want or feel or how they and their bodies react. Time and meeting the speed-bumps in life are ultimately what sorts this out.

If this is remotely helpful and you want to talk about it as it evolves, feel free to pm me and avoid the jerks on the board. ... oops, jerky comments. LOL Although that one idea HAS been known to sort out some stress...lol

Good luck, your GF is lucky to have you!

[Fonya 0]

Get her to take up drums, when Im stressed I wack those things extra hard!

[Juice_Slowjamz 0]

FireonIce, never let the potential of a couple of jerky comments put you off of something.

Some of this might seem contradictory, you know your GF's situation so take what seems useful and dump the rest. You're right to be concerned and, ultimately, it is out of your control and up to her to make the appropriate choices in her life... so don't take too much of this on yourself.

Although eating disorders are a symptom of a variety of issues, one common area is esteem or self-confidence. Your GF may be feeling really insecure with all of the new stuff, and may well settle into it as she gets more comfortable or secure.

Stress does come out in the body - you end up dealing with it one way or another. Yoga is really good; physical stretching is great for stress, and yoga gets a mind + body connection that is especially helpful for people. (It is also great for hockey players' flexibility). You also want to see if she is eating properly - light-headed can suggest blood sugar out of whack from not eating properly. She might want to get that checked out by a doctor. In fact, I think she should... I'm leaping to the conclusion that this is originating from stress... it is a good idea to eliminate physical posibilities right from the get-go.

Her college will have guidance counsellors - encourage her to see them. Usually they are way better than the ones you had in HS - and they are used to helping people cope with the stress of college life (and work) and being away from home and all that is familiar for the first time.

Many colleges will have stress courses and workshops as well. It really is quite common for people to get slightly unhinged in their first year. (If you have a prof like me you tend to stay unhinged all the way through - lol)

If she is really having trouble coping with the workload, perhaps she should consider dropping a course or two. Better to get through the year successfully and adjust to it, than to try to take on too much and crash and burn. I imagine the add/drop date is coming up soon, so she should look into this and what effect it might have on any financial aid or scholarships she has.

Don't worry about the quiet dinner - time together or a conversation is WAY more important than $$ in a public place where you can't really talk.

You might be trying to "help" her by "fixing" the situation. Guys can be so prescriptive! Women tend to do WAY more "trouble talk" than guys do - just talking about what is bugging them or what they are worried about is stress relieving, and they get a lot from the connection of someone they care about listening to them empathetically. Unfortunately, in one of those really ironic quirks of fate... this tends to really distress guys! Guys get really upset that a woman they care about is twisting and, if they don't want to run away pronto, they want to rush on in there with the white hat and save the damsel in distress... or the day, or whatever... anything to just fix the problem so we can shut up about it already, and get on with everything being ok. Man! Does this ever add to women's stress loads...lol Sometimes we really are separate species.

If you are offering solutions, and she is "arguing for her limitations" - in other words, telling you why all of your good suggestions just won't work - consider backing up a bit and just listening.

Empathetic listening is not passive listening.... Stay connected, show you care and are concerned... but let her have her upset and just be an ear. Allow her to be inconsistent as she rattles around with her upset. Give her space while also lettingher know you are there for her. I had a friend be this for me recently and you have no idea how absolutely invaluable and much appreciated that great gift is. Few men have developed this talent and they are worth twice their weight in gold.

One last thing - young women (men too, for that matter) haven't "been around the block" enough to sometimes know what they want or feel or how they and their bodies react. Time and meeting the speed-bumps in life are ultimately what sorts this out.

If this is remotely helpful and you want to talk about it as it evolves, feel free to pm me and avoid the jerks on the board. ... oops, jerky comments. LOL Although that one idea HAS been known to sort out some stress...lol

Good luck, your GF is lucky to have you!

That post was far too long to read, but I get your point. His GF needs to buy a bullet and rent a gun.

[hockeymom 2]

Here's a shorter one: Juice you never fail to underwhelm me.

[Juice_Slowjamz 0]

Here's a shorter one: Juice you never fail to underwhelm me.

Neat.

[DarkStar50 679]

Here's a shorter one: Juice you never fail to underwhelm me.

Neat.

Stupid is no way to go through life.

[KYHockey3 0]

That post was far too long to read, but I get your point. His GF needs to buy a bullet and rent a gun.

dude, thats a low comment

if your gf doesnt like drums, id jsut try to get her to get a hobby to do when shes stressd out. when im pissed or stressed i like to go shoot hockey pucks to let out anger and stuff.

[devilsrule711 0]

or something where you get to hit/kick something

like a kick boxing class or those tae bo tapes

or paintball if she likes to shoot things :-)

[Eazy_b97 1]

Try and get her physically active and allow her to work through things herself. Sounds like she needs to work out some things on her own. She can't depend on you for everything. Be there for support, but make sure she does everything on her own. See a specialist if need be, and good luck.

[KYHockey3 0]

or something where you get to hit/kick something

like a kick boxing class or those tae bo tapes

or paintball if she likes to shoot things :-)

yeah,

a punching bag could be nice~

sometimes when im mad i wanna punch something.

[tokes 0]

What's wrong with suggesting sex? It's proven, and it works damn good. During exam time at University me and my girlfriend are like rabbits, and it helps a lot.

[LkptTiger 1]

Personally, I don't enjoy sex as much when I'm stressed...maybe that's just me.

I think everyone has problems with their first few weeks/months of college. My girlfriend and I are both freshmen at different schools, and I am constantly recieveing stressed-out phone calls and text messages from her, while I have to look to a few of my older friends here. It's a difficult adjustment, for sure, especially if you/she is going to a big school, as I am.

How long have you two been together, and how attached are you guys? Part of the problem very well might be that you two are apart. Emily (my girlfriend), and I have been together for a few years now, and we are having alot of difficulty with this, as we saw eachother every single day over the summer (despite living in different towns), and now only get to see each other on the weekends. A couple of webcams might help you guys out a bit - it really does help us to be able to see one another while we talk to each other. Sometimes pictures just aren't enough.

I realize that this is going to sound lame, but trust me: Write her love letters e-mail them to her. I'm an English major, and would like to think myself to be at least competient with the language, if not well-versed, so that kind of thing works for me. As I said, Em and I have been dating for a considerable period of time, but I still get sobby phone calls from her when she opens her mail and sees that I sent her something - it seriously makes her day; and it'll make your day better just knowing that you made her at least a little happier. If this isn't something you think you can do, I'll sell letters to you for $5 a pop ;)

Stick with it, buddy. Tell her to hang in there. Most people I have spoken with have told me that the first semester of the freshman year is toughest - only a couple months left

[mack 44]

FireonIce-

Maybe it doesn't relate to what helps your GF, but maybe give her her own space and time to figure things out but also let her know you're there for her. I was a freshman at 16 so I had a million things caving on me, but once I knew I didn't feel like I was stranded alone things came together a lot better. It was done with good intentions, but any advice or consolation that came from my family was rejected by pride, but at least I knew they were there for me if it got that bad. Maybe a day-long vacation from a "normal" day with her is what she needs, or maybe just a simple care package and/or note.

[MJDhcky9 0]

Play hockey

[hockeytim18 0]

I was a freshman at 16 so I had a million things caving on me, but once I knew I didn't feel like I was stranded alone things came together a lot better.

:o :o :o in college? If so how are u so hillarious yet smart. Good combo.

[mack 44]

It's all part of my master plan of bringing sexy back.

[Sven 1]

Stress is really not that funny. This summer before the summer holidays i was pretty stressed and i had an annonying flickering in the left eye.

It closed and opened itself like 5 times in a second and really freaked me out.

After some chilling time without trouble and university it got away.

[UMWhockey 0]

most colleges have programs for incoming freshman where they can get some help with the stress of being in school. Look at her schools website and see if anything comes up and if the school has a program, suggest that she check it out. If anything they usualy have some good suggestions to deal with the stress of college