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hockeymom

Curious... who pays on dates?

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Wow, I’m surprised how many guys think they should pay. A bit of an eye-opener for me. I was raised to always pay my own way and that’s how I’ve always handled it, so it seemed, I don’t know, very contrived to turn around and tell MissD something different. LOL, of course now I’m funding my own dating and my daughter’s. There’s something very weird about that.

Kids still go on dates? Hmmm. My daughter's not dating until she's forty.

Good luck with that one Oberon lol

(I think it is harder on fathers than it is on mothers, because fathers KNOW exactly how young men think!)

If women want equal rights, they can pick up a check every once in awhile.

Exactly! (did I just agree with juice?) I don’t think it really is an issue of equality… more of fairness, really.

Always offer to pay in whole doing whatever, but it seems most if not all girls recently have been paying their own. It feels odd to me, but I feel my wallet later and it's a welcome feeling

M-Cohen…I wonder if it is a regional thing?

Seriously though, this system works pretty well. Let whoever is making the offer pay.

That seems fair Deerock… but guys still ask girls out on dates more often, so they’d still end up paying more often.

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Girls don't pay where I'm concerned. My girlfriend never pays, nor do any of the other girls that I occasionally "hit the town" with. If a girl offers money once, I tell her to put it away. If she persists, I offer her the "opportunity" to cover the tip.

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I pay as much as I can, not exclusive to dates. A friendgirl and I go get something to eat, I'm paying. A lady ahead of me in line at the checkout is fumbling for money for her coffee, I'm paying just to GTFO of the line.

It is is and isn't due to some sort of archaic chivalry. I was raised for the most part by a single mother and she would throttle me if I let a girl pay for anything, though at the same time she's Sarah Connor with a scalpel.

Since having kids and the wife taking time away from her work, even when I don't pay I'm paying because it's coming out from my paycheques. It's like someone buying me a beer at an open bar.

I get annoyed by the princesses who expect everything to be paid for just as much as I'm annoyed by the feminazis that get a pickle in their ass if someone picks up a tab for you. Those are the ones I tell "it's no problem because you make 70% of what I make."

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I agree with you Mack... the expectation really bugs me (I don't know how guys handle it frankly). But the opposite extreme is just as bad. If someone is offering to do something nice for you, the gracious thing is to accept it and say thanks... not shove it in their face. That's just rude.

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I just want a sign of appreciation. A thank you, anything. After having the nightmare privilege of working in an office full of women the last couple of years, the fringe benefits of having home-cooked food brought into the office was appreciation enough.

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I agree, that's why I play it by year but expect to pay. If a girl wants to pay then let her... Maybe it's her way of telling you something, girls like to give signals without being to the point, let her make that statement.

I have plenty of female friends that I talk to pretty open and it seems that a girl that wants to pay can mean a few things:

1) She's just down to earth and doesn't expect to be treated special.

2) She doesn't want to "owe" you anything.

3) She wants you to know that she doesn't need you.

Just the messenger here, these are the reasons I've heard.

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Maybe it's her way of telling you something, girls like to give signals without being to the point, let her make that statement.

Fucking broads never just come out and say it. Ever.

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If she's offering to pay for the third reason you gave, then I suggest not attempting another date.

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M-Cohen…I wonder if it is a regional thing?

It may very well be... The girls I've dated from UFA (won't name em', cause D will probably know :P ) have been very adamant about paying there own way.

I find myself paying just to GTFO of line

That happened with me the other day, woman in line is fumbling with business. I just bought her order. She thanks me and says "see, chivalry isn't dead" which just made me think about Dave Chappelle talking about how women are the ones who "killed" it...

Though, my mom is a single mother and raised me to offer to pay. But told me that the girl who isn't willing to at least pay some of the time, generally isn't worth it as she (may) just be riding along.

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When my wife and I first started dating, it was funny, because she was raised to pay her way, and I was from the school of thought of the guy paying for it, so we both had to make some compromises. I remember almost tearing a check in half accidentally at one restaurant reaching for it at the same time. :)

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I offer to pay for everything, even if I do not want to or can afford to all the time. I luckily found a catch that has paid for easily over half of what we have done so far. Her family is much, much better off financially than I so it is nice for her to recognize that and she forces me to let her pay everytime. I have had to secretly pay the bill when she was in the bathroom just to keep my balls between my legs! ;)

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It's always a pain trying to figure out ways to get the tab. Saying you have to be excused and then finding the server is one way but I've had to actually pull the "I think they gave me your bill" when the other person wanted split tabs, just so I could pay both.

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We tend to share the costs of lots of things we do. Sometimes if her kids are along (which really isn't much of a date *L*) I pay for me and one of the kids...she pays for her and the other. We try to switch which kid we pay for, as one is a HUGE eater and always wants the 12 ounce steak or the rack of ribs...the other is happy with a burger. *L*

If we are just out for the hell of not cooking, we split the bill. Or, If I say hey...wanna go out for dinner...I'll pay and she'll usually offer to get the tip.

I usually take her out for her birthday...she takes me out for mine. Stuff like that. At a movie, which we don't do often....usually one will get the tix...the other gets snacks.

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Although my girlfriend constantly insists she wants to pay, I still pay for the vast majority of the time. We've pretty much worked out a 3:1 ratio system. For every 3 meals I pay for, she takes me out for one. Or, we just nullify the whole issue and end up cooking at home. That actually ends up being more fun most of the time anyway.

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Although my girlfriend constantly insists she wants to pay, I still pay for the vast majority of the time. We've pretty much worked out a 3:1 ratio system. For every 3 meals I pay for, she takes me out for one. Or, we just nullify the whole issue and end up cooking at home. That actually ends up being more fun most of the time anyway.

I'm the same way, probably around a 3:1 ratio, or I'll pay for dinner and just let her get movie tickets, I'll pay for baseball tickets she get the snacks, stuff like that.

On a side note, I think that any girl that expects the guy to always pay in this day and age is out of her mind, stay away. I don't buy random girls drinks either, that is a huge no-no.

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Do you guys think it pisses the girl off if you say no and insist to pay? Or if she gets out money and you tell her to put it away or not to give it to you or such? Does it make it seem like your just trying to buy a way into her pants?

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Depends on the girl. My girlfriend gets a little frustrated if I never let her pay for anything (and I don't think it's a matter of her feeling like I'm trying to "buy my way into her pants" - we've been dating three years; been there, done that), but there is another girl I've been hanging-out with a lot lately who doesn't seem to mind as much (though she always lets me know that she does have her own money with her).

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my last relationship I picked up most of the stuff in the beginning because a. I'm a bit old-fashioned in that way and b. I could write it off...but she always offered which was key..

basically if she really wanted to do something, she'd pay and if it was my idea..i would...somehow her thoughts always became my idea :)

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Depends on the girl. My girlfriend gets a little frustrated if I never let her pay for anything (and I don't think it's a matter of her feeling like I'm trying to "buy my way into her pants" - we've been dating three years; been there, done that), but there is another girl I've been hanging-out with a lot lately who doesn't seem to mind as much (though she always lets me know that she does have her own money with her).

Woah, does your girlfriend of three years know you've been buying another girl meals? :o

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No, and she doesn't need to.

I've been "going out" (as in spending time with) other girls since before we met and throughout almost the entire course of our relationship. It's not that I don't care for my girlfriend or take the relationship seriously (I wouldn't be in the relationship if I didn't think that we have a future together). The fact of the matter is that I'm still just a kid and that I enjoy being with women. While I'm not necessarily proud of what I'm doing, I'm of the rationale that I should get this "out of my system" while I'm young. I'm not really "romantically involved" with any of these other girls, so I try to tell myself it's not too out of hand. I like to think that I'll be "under control" by the time things like "engagement" and "marriage" aren't just horrifying words to me anymore.

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...I figure by the time I'm married, I'm going to be spending so much time with one crazy bitch that I'm not going to want to have anything to do with the rest of the gender. The only thing I'm going to have to look forward to is going to the rink; and, given the problems with my knee, I'm not sure how much longer I'm really going to be able to enjoy that.

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Hope that works out for you, but I still have friendgirls I see often. My wife's not a normal (read: jealous) woman though, which really weirds me out sometimes like when she's chummy with an ex or two.

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My girlfriend gets jealous if she finds-out that a girl and I were partnered-up on a project for a class. At first I thought it was kinda funny, but now it's just getting fucking old. Sometimes I feel like telling her who I've really been spending time with just so I can feel like the bitching is justifiable.

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