Booting a friend from the team

[Zinger 0]

Hey guys,

I formed a fairly new beer league team in competitive men's league. We're in a lower division as many of the guys on the team hadnt played in a while. Earlier this season, one of our better players, was booted for the season for fighting. We were desperately looking for a player to replace him and one of the guys on the team suggested a mutual friend of ours. We were all skeptical because it was only his second year playing hockey. Well he's stunk it up all year, he is simply just not good enough to play in the level our team is in. On top of it all, he argues any pointers we try to give him.

This guy is a friend to 4-5 guys on the team. He's a really nice guy, but is really oblivious to how bad of a hockey player he really is.

He can barely skate, is extremely slow, can barely let a shot off and is quite out of shape.

Now we are looking to register the team for a summer league, but most of us don't want him on the team, but no one has the guts to tell he can't be on. He's just a really good guy, a great team player. We dont have the heart to tell him. I told him that he was struggling at our level and that he was weaker than the other guys, but he just didnt get the message.

Anyone have any ideas on how to gently tell our friend, that its nothing personal, and that he cant join the summer team? we love the guy, but he causes at least 2-3 goals a game and is a human pylon out there.....

[SolarWind 23]

"Just say NO - that's all it takes" :))

seriously though - what kind of a "great friend" is he if he's just dragging the entire team down & but wouldn't leave himself (left alone you have already hinted him on it)?!

[Zinger 0]

He doesnt realize that he's dragging the team down, he thinks he's pretty decent!!!

And he doesnt seem to get the hints....

[Patrick67 1]

I have the same exact problem with a friend on my team.

He can't see how much of liability he is, and none of us have the guts to kick him off due to friendship. He's not even a "bad" player, he's just not at the same level as the rest of the team.

Our only solution so far is to have enough good players, so he's the one that (rightfully) gets benched every time we're in a close game, and "hopefully" that will persuade him to move a team down in our club.

[fatwabbit 93]

maybe you guys are mentioning me? ;)

[number21 3]

What's more important, the friendships or having a stellar beer league team?

[dsjunior1388 81]

just find a new guy, tell the other guy that the new guy asked to be on the team last time but wasn't able to do it because of X reason and your giving him a chance now. Or grow some and tell the guy flat out that he doesn't belong and if you have enough tact yo might not lose a buddy. Or option 3 don't take beer league so seriously, and keep giving the guy advice. Hes arguing about it, but hes thinking about it.

[Zamboni 6]

Many coaches of rep (travel) teams struggle with this at tryouts.....their friends kid is not good enough. Think its hard to tell your buddy and that "is really oblivious to how bad of a hockey player he really is".....try telling a dad his kids just not there. You can sugar coat it any way you want, but in the end that only makes it worse. It is harder when its someone's kid though, believe me-been in both situations.

Be straight up with the guy, sounds harsh but if your too soft, too many compliments to soften the blow it just drags out, he'll think he's close and can talk his way onto the team.

[ArcArsenal 0]

We have a guy like this as well - not even a "good" player but thinks he is doing well...

I am gladly inviting him to join the summer league team - hes a good guy to be around, he has a great time, and hes a friend. One guy can not bring down the team that much really.

The only reason I would boot someone from the team is if we were playing at a level so far beyond them that they would no longer be having any fun.

When he's on the ice think of it as practicing the penalty kill.

[djinferno 2]

as you said, it's beer league, if he plays with you guys he most likely will get better, maybe you dont have the guts to tell him to leave but you can tell him that he needs to practice to keep up because you guys as a team feel like hes a weak link...

As a friend, he should be able to understand that if he wants to compete...

[skeeter14 0]

is he paying his way? if yes, its beer league. Every team has "that guy" in some shape or form. don't take it so serious and just have fun.

[epstud74 24]

You take beer league too seriously. Maybe some of you need to reevaluate your priorities..Friendship or a worthless beer league trophy? What do you have to gain? To lose?

[zfyfe 0]

You take beer league too seriously. Maybe some of you need to reevaluate your priorities..Friendship or a worthless beer league trophy? What do you have to gain? To lose?

agreed, i have a guy on my team who cant even skate first time playing but who cares we are all there to have a good time its not like he is killing our team

[reyno2ac 0]

You take beer league too seriously. Maybe some of you need to reevaluate your priorities..Friendship or a worthless beer league trophy? What do you have to gain? To lose?

agreed, i have a guy on my team who cant even skate first time playing but who cares we are all there to have a good time its not like he is killing our team

Exactly what I was thinking. I played down a level this season because the level one up takes it way to seriously. I just want an organized game once a week.

[Chadd 916]

You take beer league too seriously. Maybe some of you need to reevaluate your priorities..Friendship or a worthless beer league trophy? What do you have to gain? To lose?

agreed, i have a guy on my team who cant even skate first time playing but who cares we are all there to have a good time its not like he is killing our team

Exactly what I was thinking. I played down a level this season because the level one up takes it way to seriously. I just want an organized game once a week.

I've been playing down this season because I like playing with the guys on the team. That said, a lot of bad habits have been reinforced over the last couple seasons. At some point I would like to play at a higher level again before the body won't let me, even if that means having to find a new team to play with.

For the original poster, just tell him you're putting together a new team to play at a higher level and you simply don't have room for him. I also would offer to help him find a new team at a lower level.

[Zinger 0]

Yeah we tried everything....he's insisiting that he'll be better....

we cant really say No to him straight up, he's a sensitive little bugger....he will hold grudges.

I just spoke to his 2 best friends on the team, they brought him in, and im making them get him out!

The thing it sucks when you pay $500 a season and lose every game because when this guy is on the ice he's a pylon and the other team scores....we already have a weak goalie....this guy....has to be a -40 in our 25 game season.

we're not taking it too serious, its just for fun, but part of the fun is winning sometimes, and replacing this guy with another solid player and friend will help us win....most of the guys on the team can play a higher division....

problem is our team is so unbalanced

3 guys - double letter level

4 guys - house league level

2 guys -beginniers (2-3 years experience)

1 guy - horrid

Goalie -Short, below average.

[Dat 0]

I think failing to get better while refusing to listen to pointers is grounds enough for kicking him out. If he was practicing 10 hours a week outside of your regular games and practice, honestly listening to criticism and analyzing himself, and seriously trying to get better then that would show he deserves a chance, but sounds like this guy is never going to change. Probably needs an intervention to actually get better.

[dsjunior1388 81]

I think failing to get better while refusing to listen to pointers is grounds enough for kicking him out. If he was practicing 10 hours a week outside of your regular games and practice, honestly listening to criticism and analyzing himself, and seriously trying to get better then that would show he deserves a chance, but sounds like this guy is never going to change. Probably needs an intervention to actually get better.

10 hours a week? you want a guy to set aside 90 minutes a day to practice for beer league?

[chippa13 1844]

Yeah we tried everything....he's insisiting that he'll be better....

we cant really say No to him straight up, he's a sensitive little bugger....he will hold grudges.

I just spoke to his 2 best friends on the team, they brought him in, and im making them get him out!

The thing it sucks when you pay $500 a season and lose every game because when this guy is on the ice he's a pylon and the other team scores....we already have a weak goalie....this guy....has to be a -40 in our 25 game season.

we're not taking it too serious, its just for fun, but part of the fun is winning sometimes, and replacing this guy with another solid player and friend will help us win....most of the guys on the team can play a higher division....

problem is our team is so unbalanced

3 guys - double letter level

4 guys - house league level

2 guys -beginniers (2-3 years experience)

1 guy - horrid

Goalie -Short, below average.

You can do one of two things with him. Either put him on a line with the best guys so you can hide him or create a checking type line of lesser guys and give him a role. Anybody can learn to skate their wing and decent positioning in their own zone. I might add, one guy is usually not the reason a beer league team never wins. Take a look in the mirror before blaming this guy for your team's woes.

[Zinger 0]

yeah ayour right, its not cuz of one guy...

our goalie is the weak link....

we are the highest scoring team in the league but with the most goals against.

our goalie is quite frankly isnt very good.....the thing is nobpdy wants to play with the guy that we wanna boot off....

and he argues everything!

we tried playing him fwd and D....horrid on both....he plays with our 2 best already, and he is dragging that line down with him....since we paired him with out top scoring winger, that winger has been on a cold streak....i dunno maybe its mental?

anyways, we're gonna talk to him today to see what he thinks....

[flyerman 0]

Yeah we tried everything....he's insisiting that he'll be better....

we cant really say No to him straight up, he's a sensitive little bugger....he will hold grudges.

I just spoke to his 2 best friends on the team, they brought him in, and im making them get him out!

The thing it sucks when you pay $500 a season and lose every game because when this guy is on the ice he's a pylon and the other team scores....we already have a weak goalie....this guy....has to be a -40 in our 25 game season.

we're not taking it too serious, its just for fun, but part of the fun is winning sometimes, and replacing this guy with another solid player and friend will help us win....most of the guys on the team can play a higher division....

problem is our team is so unbalanced

3 guys - double letter level

4 guys - house league level

2 guys -beginniers (2-3 years experience)

1 guy - horrid

Goalie -Short, below average.

Umm, is this your entire roster? Ten guys???

Seems the easiest and most obvious solution is to simply add more decent players to your roster, so this guy isn't on the ice 50% of the time. I am the team rep for a Level 2 beer league team and we have 17 guys on our roster (although 10-15 show up). Keeps the player dues low and ensures we always have enough guys every weekend. Plus it makes it possible to balance out the skill level/ice time so that no one or two weaker players "drag the whole team down."

[Zinger 0]

Yeah we tried everything....he's insisiting that he'll be better....

we cant really say No to him straight up, he's a sensitive little bugger....he will hold grudges.

I just spoke to his 2 best friends on the team, they brought him in, and im making them get him out!

The thing it sucks when you pay $500 a season and lose every game because when this guy is on the ice he's a pylon and the other team scores....we already have a weak goalie....this guy....has to be a -40 in our 25 game season.

we're not taking it too serious, its just for fun, but part of the fun is winning sometimes, and replacing this guy with another solid player and friend will help us win....most of the guys on the team can play a higher division....

problem is our team is so unbalanced

3 guys - double letter level

4 guys - house league level

2 guys -beginniers (2-3 years experience)

1 guy - horrid

Goalie -Short, below average.

Umm, is this your entire roster? Ten guys???

Seems the easiest and most obvious solution is to simply add more decent players to your roster, so this guy isn't on the ice 50% of the time. I am the team rep for a Level 2 beer league team and we have 17 guys on our roster (although 10-15 show up). Keeps the player dues low and ensures we always have enough guys every weekend. Plus it makes it possible to balance out the skill level/ice time so that no one or two weaker players "drag the whole team down."

to be honest, having that many guys sucks for ice time....

most teams in are league are 10 guys.

ive been on teams with 3 forward lines and 5 D and its just not enough icem, everybody wants more

[RecLeagueHero 0]

I've been involved in a few situations that are pretty much what you're describing here. There really isn't a "feelings hurt free" way to deal with it, just better or worse. Worst example of dealing with it: the captian sent around an e-mail asking everyone to vote on whether a certain person should or shouldn't be on the team. The captain and this person were pretty good friends before hand, now they haven't spoken in years. Best example: captain sat down with the person, explained that they were simply not skating up to par and felt they'd have more fun on a lower level team. The captian had already found a team that would accept the person they were cutting. The guy getting cut was still pissed, but after a while things were pretty much back to normal.

In both cases the person being cut really was bad enough that they were a liability for the team. However, there's a third road that I see a lot: don't say anything and just let it go. It is beer league anyway, and if the friendship issue is just a bigger deal then the right answer may be just to deal with it while keeping the skater. Given the nature of hockey you aren't going to win or lose games because of one guy.

[flyerman 0]

Yeah we tried everything....he's insisiting that he'll be better....

we cant really say No to him straight up, he's a sensitive little bugger....he will hold grudges.

I just spoke to his 2 best friends on the team, they brought him in, and im making them get him out!

The thing it sucks when you pay $500 a season and lose every game because when this guy is on the ice he's a pylon and the other team scores....we already have a weak goalie....this guy....has to be a -40 in our 25 game season.

we're not taking it too serious, its just for fun, but part of the fun is winning sometimes, and replacing this guy with another solid player and friend will help us win....most of the guys on the team can play a higher division....

problem is our team is so unbalanced

3 guys - double letter level

4 guys - house league level

2 guys -beginniers (2-3 years experience)

1 guy - horrid

Goalie -Short, below average.

Umm, is this your entire roster? Ten guys???

Seems the easiest and most obvious solution is to simply add more decent players to your roster, so this guy isn't on the ice 50% of the time. I am the team rep for a Level 2 beer league team and we have 17 guys on our roster (although 10-15 show up). Keeps the player dues low and ensures we always have enough guys every weekend. Plus it makes it possible to balance out the skill level/ice time so that no one or two weaker players "drag the whole team down."

to be honest, having that many guys sucks for ice time....

most teams in are league are 10 guys.

ive been on teams with 3 forward lines and 5 D and its just not enough icem, everybody wants more

So what do you do when 2-3 guys don't show up for whatever reason as happens all the time in our league (family, sickness, work travel, etc.)? You skate with 7 guys?

I my games we roll 3 lines taking one-minute shifts, and it seems to work out great. 2 lines is great if everyone plays at a higher level and can skate, but if not, 3 works great if the line changes are managed well. Plenty of ice time for everyone.

If you're not going to increase your roster to offset his ability, then like others are saying, you just have to choose between making the team more competitive in order to win OR keeping friendships and maintaining the team bond.

Quick story: A friend of mine who ran a team I played for a couple years ago said one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard in a beer league game. After one of his Canadian Junior A buddies home just for the Holidays double shifted, taking my shift (there were like 16 guys that night), I yelled, "what the fuck, man?!" and my friend barks back, "Hey! Do you want to play or do you want to win?!" I said I want to play and quit his team at the end of the season to play with another team in the same division....

[Penguinsfanatic 0]

Or you could be straight up honest with him and be like dude you suck and tell him everyone wants him off