badger_14

A few sessions coaching 8U will make you more agile than you ever imagined. Or it'll put you in the hospital.

I'm so glad it's worked out for the both of you! Enjoy the season. 🙂

I'd caution you not to bust a gut, but it's clearly too late for that.

I think I've got a temporary fix for ya:

Am I clear in reading that they're - if not disallowing - then discouraging you from taking him off the team? Sounds like they want to cash your checks. It sounds like other folks are having similar issues with the coach's behavior. (Cussing out U10s is not appropriate behavior for an adult. It just isn't.) I wouldn't suggest your son talk to the coach. He's 8, after all - he's still at an age where it's the adults' responsibility to make a majority of the choices and set the example for appropriate boundaries and behavior. That's way too heavy a position to put the kid in. But it's clear he's not having fun, he isn't enjoying or looking forward to hockey time, and as long as the determining factor (the coach) remains, that's not going to change, no matter how much he likes the other kids. (And kids will put up with a *lot* if they think it pleases the adults they look up to). I think at this point I would tell the organization "listen, this team is just not a good fit for our family right now, we've decided to switch." Be clear and firm, but phrasing it that way keeps it neutral. Is this an area where this specific organization is all there is? Are there other options around - town programs, house leagues? Are you financially sunk or do you need a release from this team to play on another team in the same league?

Crappy ice. In particular, crappy ice that leads to (minor) injury.

My mom has been sick - well, it's been a series of medical crises on a loosely annual basis for about 6 years. This time, the cancer came back and chemo wasn't going to do anything. She took a sharp turn for the worse on Wednesday, and died sometime Saturday night (naturally, when neither my dad nor I were in the room). I don't know if it's quite hit me yet, it's a lot of emotions, and a lot of non-emotions at the same time. My brothers are coming in today, and my uncle is coming tomorrow. Things are odd without her.

Giving a startling new meaning to the phrase "bag skate".

Thank you! The official word posted on the NREMT yesterday. I am fortunate to already have a good therapist of my own. I know several of the medics at my current job and they're good folks. A nice mix of pleasantly nuts, which I think helps survive the job.

I'm a paramedic now! 🚑🚑🚑🚑🚑 (Though must wait on "official" word from the national registry, I have now passed both written and practical.)

That doesn't make any sense. Not for what I'm describing anyway. If I had been having trouble moving and getting bite with the dull skates, that does make sense. But I haven't been having any trouble at all. (I actually don't remember having this much trouble last time I had them done, which was at a different shop). Whatever they did now (I asked them for 3/4". Did they really do it? Not sure now) it's far too much bite - feeling like I'm digging in so hard I'll trip or bend my ankle in a direction it's not meant to go.

One of my cowlings broke (not sure why or how) so I had to get them replaced. Ironically, if they'd just had my size, I could have simply scored a new pair of the exact same skate for <$50. (no foolin'. Deep discount on the low-end skates here). Anyhoo, replacement is fine but they had to sharpen the new blades and ... And guys, I am not into sharpening my skates. I get it done at best twice per year, and really more like once, depending on the ice I'm on and how much I'm skating. I've gotten them at 3/4" before and either they didn't do that, or it has been way, way too long since I've had it done, because it felt *awful*, much too deep, and now I feel like I need to skate once a day for an entire week just to make them feel right again. Or walk on concrete. Or tap them against the posts. Something. Ugh. It felt better by the end of today but jeez.

Don't worry, when it comes to humor, I'm sure you've got this in the bag. 😉

Fear not, my friend, I have a buttload of crappy jokes. 👍

Is it cool to make a "wow, what a shitty situation" joke or nah? (kidding. That's rough. I hope there are not as many stories like this in your future as you think!)

After nearly 2 solid days of panic, the results came in Monday and I passed the written. \o/ Next stop: the practical.

At last, school is over. My written exam is tomorrow and the practical is on the 29th. I am half between "I got this" and "oh god what if I fail". But excited to be almost there.

I take horseback riding lessons, and on Friday my horse and I finally achieved this particularly tricky move (called a sidepass - imagine a horse doing crossovers on a line without going forward - its origins are in cavalry exercises) together, and we did it well, and even if it was just a few steps we really did it.

We knew he was going. Sunday was the final call. Unfortunately, not the first time we've had to do it. My dad's already putting in our application to the poodle rescue (last two dogs were standard poodles). Not that we're over Charley - but we need a dog in our lives again.

We had to put my dog to sleep on Sunday. :( The cancer caught up to him. It's so empty in the house without our dog.

I've had to switch ride time sites (for various reasons) which means a brief hold while a new schedule is sorted out; plus my mom is in the hospital (again); and my dog has maybe a couple more days to live. Trying to figure out a plan to sneak my mom down to the hospital entrance to see the pup, but who knows. Why does this all have to happen at once?

I spent the past two weeks utterly frantic that I would go to ride time (part of paramedic school - riding 3rd as a student medic on an ambulance) and completely fall apart and end up with nothing to show for it. Well, Wednesday was my first day, and our very first call was to meet up with a FD ambulance for a heart attack patient. We had to do everything on the move (literally: moving ambulance), including starting an IV, giving meds, and getting an EKG. Hell of a way to start off, but I did well according to my preceptor, and I feel a whole lot better about things now. Even having to get up at 4:30 in the morning seems worth it.

I think there's a sense (among parents) that other parents are going to be more trustworthy generally - we've spent a good 40 years steeping folks in "stranger danger" and hockey is a fairly insular community/sport on its own. But I also like to point out that in general, people don't care if their children's teachers are parents or not - and if someone is willing and able and wants to share their enjoyment of a sport or activity with others, why not welcome them in? I don't think, 90% of the time, that a parent intentionally favors his or her own child. But it happens, of course. And if you limit yourself to parent volunteers, you run into the practical limit of how many able, willing parents you have available. When I coached in Learn to Play, I ended up being the default "in charge" person for the older age group, because the guy who was technically the director had to leave with his own kids for other activities and couldn't stay. I was simply the only one there for the whole two hours or so. (and had to deal with occasional bouts of crazy with very little backup). And, as noted, sometimes players just listen better to someone who isn't legally or biologically related to them. My classmate is a goalie, and skates with her wife, but their teammates have all categorically told her that no, they cannot play together next season, because they just get too worked up.

I coached Learn to Play in my town for 3 years... Been out for a few because I've just plain had no time, between school and work. I do miss it. I don't think I'd ever want to coach travel - not high level travel anyhow, too much crazy. I loved coaching LTP and I wouldn't mind mites. The guy who was president of the town organization had it in for me the whole time, as I'm not a parent so he felt I wouldn't be as devoted to the program as someone "with a dog in the [fight]". Kind of an uncomfortable situation. At any rate, I hope to return to some kind of coaching in the Fall. :)

So there's a broad spectrum of neurological issues that can affect a player, including what is typically called mental illness, but it depends on what you're asking about. Certain learning disabilities such as dyslexia can make learning things like "right" and "left" difficult, as well as pattern recognition. Autism spectrum disorders and sensory processing disorders can have an effect on how a player interprets external stimuli (instructions, whistles, lights, etc) as stressful or confusing. Many learning disabilities (language based and nonverbal) affect gross and fine motor control. For example I know some people who, because of their particular wiring, have a very hard time with things like swimming because it's difficult for them to coordinate a pattern of movement (treading water, stroke-breathe-stroke, etc) as well as being a sensory-disorienting environment. What are typically called mental or psychiatric illnesses, such as depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder, are generally considered to have a genetic component that causes a miswiring in the brain, much the same as the above disorders. Sometimes, these are co-morbid, meaning a person with ADHD can have anxiety, or someone with dyslexia can have depression or bipolar disorder. Unfortunately, substance use or misuse is also often co-morbid with mental illness, in part due to lack of access to appropriate support, treatment, and education. First good tactic is get to know your players. Especially young players - let them engage you in conversation, connect with them. Having a good, stable connection to a supportive person does wonders for folks with neurological differences (as it does for most people, but especially important). An added bonus here is that young people with disabilities/mental illness are at significantly higher risk for abuse, and connecting with a trustworthy adult makes them that much less vulnerable. Have clear, consistent expectations. Doesn't mean you have to have the ice-hockey Code of Hammurabi in stone at your rink, but come up with some basic expectations for both you and your players. If you have a formal team format (vs. the free for all of a learn to play), feel free to write them down and distribute them. Things like treating each other with respect (don't call names, no hurting people on purpose, etc), following the rules of the game, being good listeners, are things that apply to player and coach. If you don't follow your own rules, no one will feel like following them either. Consistent, but flexible. Mean what you say - if you say "I will give you two warnings [for behavior] and on the third, you sit on the bench/on the side for [x] minutes", then follow through. Relatedly, change is hard for folks with learning disabilities and mental illness, who may already feel extra stress from trying to navigate neurotypical norms and internal chaos. Come up with a plan - today we will have 5 stations, and we will rotate every 10 minutes (do the math as you like), explain the plan, confirm the plan. When players arrive at a station, be ready, explain, and give appropriate warning when you're going to switch - "in 2 minutes, Coach Bob will blow the whistle, and everyone will go to Coach Jen's station". Having clear plans and expectations is far less anxiety provoking than surprises (tho again, being flexible and asking for input from players is good). In my magical imaginary world, there's about a 3:8-12 coach to player ratio (depending on age and player need - younger players need a higher coach-to-player ratio), so you can have someone who explains verbally, someone who demonstrates, and someone who can physically go through and help players with the exercise. Back to learning your players - in a team format where you can wrangle them in a locker room, go over a practice. What was the best thing? What was the worst thing? Open the lines of communication - maybe they really liked something that you didn't expect, or maybe someone has an idea. Watch them, and pick up on things like who the leaders are, and who the more shy kids are, who the disruptive ones are. Kids with ADHD can be easily overstimulated but when they like something, they can hyperfocus on it for hours. Give your disruptive kid something to do - say, ok, Teddy, you're going to help me demonstrate. Or, Kate, Liam, Sean, your job today is to pick up all the cones at the end of practice, and bring them to the bench. Talk with parents, too. Just like you would for a child with diabetes or asthma or a severe allergy - connect with the parents and say, hey, what works for your kid? What can I do that will make things consistent? Is anything going on, anything changing like medication or a new therapist or a new school? I think the meat of it honestly is communication and connection. Understand that some people will get more easily overwhelmed, and be ready to adapt to that. Use your players' strengths and give them agency and keep them from feeling isolated.