For the Fathers of MSH

[JR Boucicaut 3760]

"Doin' Da Butt...sexy sexy!"

I know you old-school guys will know what I'm talking about...

[mack 44]

I will now do the Ed Lover dance in my office.

[JR Boucicaut 3760]

Dadadadadadadaaaaaa dadadaddadadadadaaaaa...

LOL Da Butt...remember when that song came out..."if you get that notion, gotta put your backfield in motion."

[mack 44]

Good times. It reminds me how there aren't enough songs about ass in today's hip-hop and rap. I miss hearing something like "big booty hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes..." starting off a song.

[Rustybender 0]

Dadadadadadadaaaaaa dadadaddadadadadaaaaa...

YO!

Wow, I feel like I'm back in high school...

[JR Boucicaut 3760]

Let's see who can name the song. And "Let Me Clear My Throat" don't count because he sampled the beat.

[NuggyBuggy 0]

I'd say don't even bother with an epidural and go natural, but that'd be a lot of stress on a girl that young.

Giving birth is incredibly stressful on a woman of any age, but the birthing is also extremely stressful on the male as well (assuming you plan to be there during the delivery). My wife was adamant about getting an epidural, and given that she was the one going through it, I decided that it was not my place to argue with her.

My wife was chatting to her sister during the actual delivery and actually needed to be told to push, that was how innocuous the contractions were under an epidural. But there were women in the next rooms who were delivering naturally, and their screams were ear-shattering and went on for hours.

The downsides of the epidural is there is a very slight risk to the procedure, it can actually delay the labor, and she may not be able to feel the contractions which can make delivery a little harder. In my wife's case they had to induce her as the epidural slowed things down too much. The benefits are that it can save her from excruciating pain. The two of you should learn about the issues and talk about it together, but for the (very small) risks posed to the mother alone, I believe the final epidural/natural decision ultimately should be made by her.

[NuggyBuggy 0]

Almost forgot - as for advice, I am well past 17 but I will say the following things.

1) Go to a birthing/pre-natal class with your girlfriend. You need to be prepared for what is coming, especially if you do decide to go natural. Know that labor can last as long as 18 hours, maybe more, during which she may be in excruciating pain and will need support the whole time. When I saw my first prenatal video of this process I was scared witless.

2) I am not sure if you are working or not at that age but plan to be around as much as possible. Make sure you are there for feedings, diaper changes, and baths. It is a beautiful thing to be able to feed and comfort your new baby and have it fall asleep in your arms.

3) Work your schedule so that you can give the mother a rest. A baby will need to feed often, every couple of hours at the start, and that is very tiring if the mother is doing it all herself. Either supplement with bottle feeding or freeze some breast milk and then feed that yourself, while you let the mother sleep. The bonus of assuming some of the feeding duties is that it gives the father a chance to bond with the baby.

4) Know that a newborn baby can be extremely stressful on the parents and that in some cases it gets harder. Do not underestimate this. It is very frustrating to have a crying baby when you don't know what it needs or wants. Newborns are actually easier because usually there are only a few things they need - they're hungry, dirty, or sleepy. Learn how to swaddle your kid, and don't be afraid to do it tight. I recommend a book called "The Happiest Baby on the Block" (I think).

5) Do all the work like setting up the baby's room, buying any furniture etc, earlier rather than later because the delivery date will arrive faster than you thought.

6) Mentally prepare to cut back on things that you normally do because if you're doing your part you will not have nearly as much free time as you did before. A diligent and responsible father should expect partying/hockey/social time to largely disappear. I used to play hockey 5 times a week, for about 8-9 hours. Once our kid came that dropped drastically to a fraction of that, and unless you are not working or are not helping much, there is really no way around that. And honestly, if you are helping out as much as you can, you will be way too tired to be playing much hockey, and when not tired you will want to be there with your child every moment you can. There are only so many hours in the day. If you're playing hockey or at the mall with your friends you are not there with your child. We still need our outlets but be realistic about what to expect here.

[NuggyBuggy 0]

On the bright side, if you're young when you have a kid you'll be that much younger when it's 18 and out of your house.

I know this was a joke, but the bright side of having a kid young is that when the child becomes a young man the father will still be young enough to hang out and do things with his child. In Cougar's case, when his kid is 18 he will be only 35, still young enough to play hockey together and try to hit each other, young enough to play tackle football at a family picnic, young enough to play 18 holes of golf and walk the course, young enough to have swimming races at the lake, young enough to bs about training for a half-marathon together, young enough to remember what it was like when he was a teenager. If he were 30 and having a kid, by the time his child was 18 Cougar would be thinking about retirement and his sore back. He might still do all the above, but it would be much, much, harder.

[LkptTiger 1]

they understand that we thought that we were fully protected and that it was an accident.

...Don't mean to prod, but: what kind of B/C were you (under the impression) you were using, and what went wrong? Just curious - as an individual not much older than yourself with a girlfriend of two years (come to your own conclusions as to what we do and do not...), I would like to "learn from your mistakes," if you don't mind. Obviously, you don't have to answer if I touched a nerve.

[Langenbrunner15 0]

Don't know abnout you guys, but it really helped that my father was very strict on me, sometimes to strict but it's all good. Make sure you make your kid know the value of a dollar too. As for the fathering the little baby thing i don't know.

[mack 44]

You can't spell dynasty without nasty.

[NuggyBuggy 0]

Also remember the only sure-fire birth control around: Da butt.

It may be a good birth control method but it is also one of the best ways to transmit any number of diseases, especially blood-borne ones. Just one of a few reasons why HIV/AIDS is so prevalent among homosexual men. If you're into it, make sure you wear a condom or get the both of you tested and make sure you know what your partner is up to.

[JR Boucicaut 3760]

Let's see who can name the song. And "Let Me Clear My Throat" don't count because he sampled the beat.

It's "The 900 Number" by The 45 King.

LOL

[mack 44]

Also remember the only sure-fire birth control around:  Da butt.

It may be a good birth control method but it is also one of the best ways to transmit any number of diseases, especially blood-borne ones. Just one of a few reasons why HIV/AIDS is so prevalent among homosexual men. If you're into it, make sure you wear a condom or get the both of you tested and make sure you know what your partner is up to.

Well thanks, but I'm married to a lovely woman named Sarcasm.

[NuggyBuggy 0]

Well thanks, but I'm married to a lovely woman named Sarcasm.

I wasn't referring to you specifically but to some of the kids reading this board who may not have the - how shall I put it - interpretative abilities ?l to 1) read your sarcasm/humour, or 2) figure out that they need to be careful if they take what they might perceive as straight-up advice.

[mack 44]

Well I'd be the first to vote on anyone following my advice to be euthanised on sight.

[hip check 0]

Wow, I just read the whole thing in one sitting.

Congrats to our new father-to-be, or actually the fathers-to-be... Props to Cougar for stepping up and telling us what's going on. That took some guts.

I am more in line with hockeysew's point of view, but I think I will take the kinder, gentler approach. ;)

In this new phase of your life, take advantage of deepening your relationship with your girlfriend and definitely with this child. There is a distinct lack of father figures in too many kid's lives these days. Don't add to the stats!

Don't try to be the kid's friend. Be the parent. Enforce the rules of the home, and provide a good role model for the kid on how to act, how to function in society and how to treat a woman. Make sure the kid respects you, and (since you will have that respect, right) make sure to handle yourself in a way that keeps their respect. Discipline is a good thing, and even babies, toddlers and young kids need boundaries.

You will have time to be friends with your child when they have matured. Being a parent gets them to that point.

My wife and I are expecting our second child in about 4 months. The rollercoaster is beginning and I'm no more prepared for the second than I was for the first. The same doubts and concerns that were with the first are back for the second, just maybe a little less intense.

Hang in there, things are going to get crazy for you all - but humans have survived for millenia, a few of us can't screw up the whole race!

[hockeysew 0]

Anybody heard from Cougar?

I pm'd him a couple times to say hey and apologize if I was a bit harsh-hadent heard anything from him.

Just curious how its going for him.

[mack 44]

He said something about an XBox 360 in another thread yesterday, plus he's active in selling off most of his hockey gear. He also PM'd me that you made him cry, but he printed off your posts to him and vowed revenge on you. Something about santeria or something like that.

[JR Boucicaut 3760]

He's fine.

Trying to work him into my schedule (he works at our Rochester store).

[cougarscaptain87 11]

He also PM'd me that you made him cry, but he printed off your posts to him and vowed revenge on you. Something about santeria or something like that.

What the hell is that all about?

Anybody heard from Cougar?

I pm'd him a couple times to say hey and apologize if I was a bit harsh-hadent heard anything from him.

Just curious how its going for him.

I got your PM's but decided to not return a message becuase at the time i was steamed and i know i would have said something that would just spark another argument.

im doing fine, actually alot better because we just found out that its going to be a little boy so everything is cooling off, and now its just a waiting game.

[KYHockey3 0]

congrats on your futrue hockey player!!

keep strong, no matter what anyone says

[Eazy_b97 1]

He also PM'd me that you made him cry, but he printed off your posts to him and vowed revenge on you. Something about santeria or something like that.

What the hell is that all about?

Anybody heard from Cougar?

I pm'd him a couple times to say hey and apologize if I was a bit harsh-hadent heard anything from him.

Just curious how its going for him.

I got your PM's but decided to not return a message becuase at the time i was steamed and i know i would have said something that would just spark another argument.

im doing fine, actually alot better because we just found out that its going to be a little boy so everything is cooling off, and now its just a waiting game.

SERENITY NOW!!!!

It was sarcasm.

[hockeysew 0]

He also PM'd me that you made him cry, but he printed off your posts to him and vowed revenge on you. Something about santeria or something like that.

What the hell is that all about?

Anybody heard from Cougar?

I pm'd him a couple times to say hey and apologize if I was a bit harsh-hadent heard anything from him.

Just curious how its going for him.

I got your PM's but decided to not return a message becuase at the time i was steamed and i know i would have said something that would just spark another argument.

im doing fine, actually alot better because we just found out that its going to be a little boy so everything is cooling off, and now its just a waiting game.

Dont sweat it man-I''ve got a pretty thick skin :P

Didnt meant to be harsh-I am just really matter of fact and blunt at times. Probably too much so.

Anyways what is done is done and I just wanted to say hey.

Congrats on the boy-My wife wanted to know what our first was but I talked here out of it. Kinda seemed like it would be like peeking at the presents before X-Mas.

Good luck with Daddyhood and take care of the little lady and Jr. Its a tough road sometimes but not without its rewards.

I suppose if my head was all jabberwocky with what you are dealing with I woulda been steamed too........But I think there are some positive things I threw at you too so take those and run with it.

Good Luck

Mack-careful there-things like Santeria and Voodoo have a way of coming full circle!

Besides I know a couple of Babalawo's that can throw an Ebo or two your direction