For the Fathers of MSH

[ponty 0]

In all fairness this type of blunt discussion would be more helpful BEFORE the girl got pregnant.

A more toned down version of this may have been better but I believe everyone has the best intentions.

16 or not I would assume or hope he knows he screwed up and is man enough to seek advice so the right things are done.

Hell I am 38 and happily married and am more than scared over my first coming in about 6 months!

Bottom line taking responsibility, at any age, is the key to success in life. You starting this thread is a step in the right direction IMO.

Good luck and best wishes from an equally scared guy older than you :)

[mack 44]

Ponty-

If you're nervous about the baby now, how are you going to feel when they don't want to go to their first day of school and you can't force them because they're bigger than you are? ;) In all honesty though, congrats.

[hockeysew 0]

Jesus, I bet you told your kids there wasn't a Santa when they were 5.

LOL

When they were 3!!!

Just being honest

Would you rather have me sugarcoat and BS the kid and let him get blindsided when the reality hits him?

I may not like what I may hear but I will ALWAYS respect somebody for being honest with me, tactful or blunt.

I have the flaw of being very blunt and brutally honest. You may not always like what I tell you but it will be a thought out and honest response you get.

There's a difference between being up front and being abusive and your first couple posts absolutely crossed that line.

My post's were NEVER intended to be "abusive" and if that is the way they came across-My bad :( Maybe on the sarcastic side but not Abusive.

All I was trying to get across to him and to any other KID is the consiquence of a little "fun" in the back seat of the Yugo can be quite harsh and the old addage of "If you cant do the time then dont do the crime" comes in to play here.

Sorry if it set anyone off and again I do wish the kid the best of luck.

He's gonna need it........................

But maybe if people put things out in a way that is blunt they stick with them more..

I just don't want to see any other kid at his age go through what he is dealing with. I have 2 kids close to his age and could not imagine it.

Cougarscaptain-If I offended you I do apologize-I guess it was a good intention that went askew and I put too much of my own feelings on the subject.

To all: I apologize if it came across too sarcastic and cynical

[JR Boucicaut 3759]

Damn! Mack then Shark now Ponty...I ain't gonna be next!

[kosydar 0]

Shark had a kid? When did that happen?

[hockeysew 0]

must be the water up there eh

[kosydar 0]

must be the water up there eh

In Germany, Colorado, and Alaska? Most likely.

[hockeysew 0]

must be the water up there eh

In Germany, Colorado, and Alaska? Most likely.

Whos from CO??

[mack 44]

In all fairness, #1 is a Nashkill baby. My money is on #2 being the smart one since we're up North now.

[ponty 0]

Jesus, I bet you told your kids there wasn't a Santa when they were 5.

LOL

When they were 3!!!

Just being honest

Would you rather have me sugarcoat and BS the kid and let him get blindsided when the reality hits him?

I may not like what I may hear but I will ALWAYS respect somebody for being honest with me, tactful or blunt.

I have the flaw of being very blunt and brutally honest. You may not always like what I tell you but it will be a thought out and honest response you get.

There's a difference between being up front and being abusive and your first couple posts absolutely crossed that line.

My post's were NEVER intended to be "abusive" and if that is the way they came across-My bad :( Maybe on the sarcastic side but not Abusive.

All I was trying to get across to him and to any other KID is the consiquence of a little "fun" in the back seat of the Yugo can be quite harsh and the old addage of "If you cant do the time then dont do the crime" comes in to play here.

Sorry if it set anyone off and again I do wish the kid the best of luck.

He's gonna need it........................

But maybe if people put things out in a way that is blunt they stick with them more..

I just don't want to see any other kid at his age go through what he is dealing with. I have 2 kids close to his age and could not imagine it.

Cougarscaptain-If I offended you I do apologize-I guess it was a good intention that went askew and I put too much of my own feelings on the subject.

To all: I apologize if it came across too sarcastic and cynical

No problems at all on my end. Your tone was CLEARLY that of a dad.

I for one wont hold anything against that.

Cheers!

[ponty 0]

Ponty-

If you're nervous about the baby now, how are you going to feel when they don't want to go to their first day of school and you can't force them because they're bigger than you are?   ;)  In all honesty though, congrats.

If the kid is bigger than I then the milk man will be under serious observation. :)

Scary part is that we wanted a kid. We are now on top of the roller coaster ride with no way back now. :P

[mack 44]

All right, how hard are you praying that it's a boy?

[ponty 0]

All right, how hard are you praying that it's a boy?

My wife thinks it is. If so kids got one helluva hockey collection to start out with. Kinda hoping its a girl though as they are easier ... well until they start to date :(

[mack 44]

I figure that won't be an issue for my daughter till she's 30 or I'm dead, whichever comes first.

[JR Boucicaut 3759]

Shark's wife is pregnant.

[wickedwrister 0]

Cougar,

Because you are so young, remember your child is forever; your girlfriend may or may not be. Children are virtualy indestructible. Short of droping them on their head you can't do much to hurt them. They will fall off your bed, hit their heads on tables, pinch themselves in drawers, bruise and scrape themselves, vomit, have fevers, cry for no reason, and a multitude of other things. Short of them not breathing, don't freak out. Tell him or her that you love them EVERY day. Let them be themselves and always instill self confidence. Expose them to everything and force nothing on them that they are not ready for or interested in. Socialize them. Take them everywhere (early). You will be much happier when you try to have a dinner out when they are 2 and you covered this early. Leave them with your parents and in-laws (overnight too) fairly early too. Kids wil adapt much easier this way. I could go on and on. PM me if you have any questions. I know we live fairly close to each other. And no, I don't babysit :D

[mack 44]

I'm going to have to get Cougar's baby an "I Tore Mommy a New One" onesie.

[Chadd 916]

must be the water up there eh

In Germany, Colorado, and Alaska? Most likely.

Global warming ;)

[Rustybender 0]

I'll chime in with my advise.

Don't worry about epidurals, and anestesia, and the delivery. That's a long ways off and whatever you plan will probably change. Those kind of decisions are what I call mickey mouse shit. They only affect one day of you life.

I'm going to go against the grain on this one. Don't get married just because you have a kid. I'm not saying dump her. But don't get married just because society says parents should be married. Ask yourself this: "if she wasn't the mother of my child would I want to marry her?" If you can't answer yes, then you are getting married for the wrong reason. If you aren't merrying for the right reason then it's going to fail.

This next one may seem like a contradiction, but it's not. After you graduate, live together. Share the work as best you can. It's alot easier to supoort each other if you are actually there.

Don't be selfish. You are getting off easy in this pregnancy, remember that. She is going to sacrafice a whole lot more than you. You need to go out of your way to help her (before and after birth.) Don't wait for her to ask for help, offer it.

No hockey during the first year. See above. Don't be selfish. She is going to have zero social life for the first year why do you get to have one? Remember, when you go out to play hockey for 2 hours, you force her to take care of junior by herself for that time period. The only way you get to go out and have fun is if you watch junior the next night so she can go out and have fun.

This next one is for when the kid gets a little bit older. You are their father, not their best friend. It's cool to play with your kid, do it as much as you can, but you also need to be a parent.

Start saving money now. Kids are expensive even before they are born. Mom is going to be going to the doctor alot before the birth and junior will be going alot after his birth. Insurance will not cover it all.

Last one that I can think of right now. Breastfeed. Formula is insanely expensive, breastmilk = the cost of the food mom eats. This next one is huge, Diapers from breastfed babies smell like roses compared to diapers of formula fed babies. That alone is more than enough reason to avoid formula. Also, breastfed babies tend to get sick less, doctor visits are expensive. My wife breastfeed our daughter until she was almost 2 years old. She's 4 now. Would you like to know how many times she has gone to the doctor for being sick? Once, with the chickenpox. (obviously I can't prove the 2 are related, but it is something to think about.)

[hockeymom 2]

Well Capt, some people have commented about pregnant women's fears, hormone scramblings and food cravings. I'm going to attempt to touch on pregnancy from a woman's p.o.v. (Ponty, you might want to pull up a chair too - and congratulations BTW).

YOU know your own body - right now you know, for example, whether you like pizza or not; imagine waking up one day with everything scrambled and no longer knowing anything at all about your body and your preferences. You're living in the Twilight Zone. You love pizza and suddenly it tastes horrible, or gives your heartburn. It is a very weird feeling not to know some of the most basic things about your body anymore. And sometimes it changes too - you make something to eat and by the time you've finished making it, it revolts you. This is so tiresome and frustrating to live with. Unless you happen to like sleeping on your right side, you even have to change the way you sleep. Like living in a foreign country - you're never really "home".

Some people have cravings - others don't. Mine was ice cubes and limeaid; couldn't get enough of either. Didn't drink limeaid before I was preggers and haven't touched it since - weird. Don't eat ice anymore either.

You also stop being your own person - you're a now a receptical. Everyone and everything is focused on the baby. Yes, you are excited and also want to talk about the baby, but what you also lose is yourself for a while. Sometimes it is especially nice if people relate to you the person rather than you the baby factory.

There's that incredibly awful time (first few months) when you look fat but aren't yet showing pregnant. That's kinda rough on the self esteem at virtually any age. In the last month you just feel like a beached whale. Some attention would be nice at these times, and I imagine some reassurance that you're loved.

And then when you ARE showing the pregnancy, people do such obnoxious things - complete strangers ask highly personal and intrusive things, they give you unsolicited advice and sometimes they put their hands on your belly without asking if it is ok. Some of it can be useful and welcome - but sometimes it is just gross. It can be really tiring handling this stuff all day, and also hard to explain why just being with people can wear you out.

Fear. Some of the greatest things human beings fear is change and uncertainty. Oh man, you live with this DAILY for the whole nine months (the excitement too of course). I know you also live with this Capt., but you will have some hours in the day when you are "yourself". Your girlfriend is the baby factory and doesn't get a break from it for one minute out of every single day, so it is really hard not to carry the burden of worrying about the uncertainty of the future... especially as the due date looms closer. ktang gave some good advice on this. Positive distraction and diversion and positive planning really does help.

All new parents have worries about the changes ahead. I obviously can't put myself in your girlfriend's shoes... I think I can "get" a very small piece of the worry that looms for her with an uncertain future during her pregnancy. I worried about my decisions. I worried about the responsibility I had taken on. I worried if I would be ok. I worried how the baby would deal with the life I had handed her before she was even born. I worried if I would be a good mother. I worried about the baby's health. I worried about my pregnancy. I worried about what my life was going to be like. I worried about my career. And then there are all the "what if's"... I worried that "what if" I did my very best and my best just wasn't good enough? I worried "what if" she wasn't healthy, would I be able to handle it? I worried "what if" she wasn't healthy and it was my fault? (BTW - there were no health concerns - I just worried about it) So many "what ifs".

The thing with these worries and fears Capt. is you can't really do anything about them while you are in "the waiting time". What I held onto was whatever came down the pike I would figure out a way to handle - at the time when it was appropriate to handle them. What I COULD do right now, I did, so I could eliminate one worry from the list. And I tried to let all of the other worries and fears go every time it came up. As a baby factory, I was conscious that all of my emotions created an environment in the womb - feelings can create a physiological reaction - so I let things go as much as I could. My mantra was - If it is not something for right now - I'll think about and deal with this one after the baby is born.

There's some great and wondrous things that also happen when you're pregnant - feeling the miracle of life growing within you. Good stuff like that. What I've tried to focus on here, is really to give an explanation for the stuff that is harder to understand or deal with in the hope that maybe it will help you to be patient and supportive.

Everyone's pregnancy is different... ultimately it is just something you feel your way through.

[DarkStar50 679]

Fellas,

There you have it: the woman's perspective of this. All I can add is thank you.

[Juice_Slowjamz 0]

This thread just cements my stance on Pro-Choice.

[peter 0]

Honestly I have no sypathy for teenage pregnancy

I'am not gonna tell you a pack of lies just to make it easier for you b/c when it comes down to it you will lose your head it will be so hard

It's not that I don't know him or like him it's just that I think teenage preganancy is horrible...

The Kid is possibly not gonna have all the nice things that other parents were able to give their kids b/c they were older and had a career in line...

It's not that I don't like this guy it's just that I think that it may have been very irresponsible act...

I'am not gonna lie to you guys and say I love little kids and teenage parents b/c I just plain hate it...

I think it's discusting to have a 15-16-17 year old walking around with a huge stomach...

Be prepared to give up the nice hockey stuff you used to get and get ready to be getting up in the middle of the night to go feed the baby and change his diaper and such,

The babys gonna constantly be crying and your gonna have to change the diaper constantly feed it...

And what about school?

Are you just gonna pawn the kid off on your parents?

I think you have made a very big mistake and be prepared to miss out on the good times,

When your buddies go out for a beer when your 18 your kids gonna be 2 and they call that year the terrible 2's...

Or when your buddies wanna go out and go fishing or such your not gonna be able to go b/c you'll be sitting at home with the baby,

Trust me on this advise my best friend in high school had a baby when he was 16 me and him rarely hung out after that he could do nothing,

It was a very sad time for me b/c I had just lost one of my best friends over his baby...

Well thats all I have to say....

Good luck with your new baby and I hope that you have a good time with it...

In no way am I trying to put you down or such i'am just telling you the facts...

[mack 44]

Thanks for putting your rain cloud over someone else's head, Ziggy.

I like some of your solid points though, like how big it will be to miss out on "beer with your friends" or how he'll miss out on fishing.

On the bright side, if you're young when you have a kid you'll be that much younger when it's 18 and out of your house.

[kosydar 0]

I like how judgmental you are of others when you can't even put together a proper sentence.