Locker Room Trash Talk

[DarkStar50 679]

http://www.thehockeynews.com/articles/2453...e-wittiest.html

This is the part of the game we play off the ice!!

[Law Goalie 147]

Good insights - especially the line drawn on permanent girls.

A few years ago, a guy on one of my teams had an absolutely nightmarish long-term girlfriend: total slag, controlling bitch, the whole nine yards. The only guy who didn't get it was him. He was totally besotted. He was also a completely different person around her - and not in a good way. This had been going on for years, according to the guys who had known him longest. We never said a word about her, but we also never said anything about how he behaved around her (which one usually would) because of what it would have instantly implied.

At the end-of-season pub night, he put down his umpteenth pint, looked around the table, and said, "What's the problem with ______?" Total silence. Everybody looks at each other. Team captain finally says, like he's dismantling a bomb over the phone, "Why do you ask?" Guy takes a drink, stares into his glass -- "Because you never talk about her."

Things went downhill from there.

[chippa13 1844]

The wife/girlfriend jokes are ok if they're done by guys who know each other well and know the routine. Definitely not something to be trifled with by a new guy in the room.

Funny story that happened while I was on the shelf. The guys in the room told my situation to the resident clown whose favorite response is, "I have to f--- her, what's your excuse?", something I like to follow up with, "Her money is as good as anyone else's." But I digress. So, the boys told him how I wound up in the hospital and all and he says to them all serious...

"Poor guy, first he gets divorced and then he has a heart attack."

"He didn't get divorced, did he?"

"He must have, why the hell else would he be out shoveling."

[greech 4]

Yeah, chirps in the room are a great part of the game. My rookie year we had a pregnant girl in school and 2 potential fathers on the team. Made for comedy gold.

[LkptTiger 1]

I can't even wrap my mind around that scenario. I don't think I'd be able to get a word in on that one...I'd be too busy pointing and giggling.

[RadioGaGa 162]

There isn't a whole lot of chirping in our room. Not really chirping, but one funny lockerroom exchange...

After a skate we had the traditional beer (or 4) in the room...and were asking around to see if anyone was going out after. Ask one guy (who is usually the ring leader, and eager for more beer). He goes:

"Not tonight, I've got an early appointment tomorrow to buy 2 houses...one for me and one for my wife".

Most of us didn't even know he had separated. The room was kinda quiet for a second or 2...then back to normal postgame chatter.

[lotus 2]

The serious relationship thing isn't really off limits with my team, though I personally consider it to be. A teammate once said "hey tell your girlfriend i'm sorry for coming too soon". I just told him to fuck off, and then I took him out pretty hard in practice...and it wasn't very clean either =]

Not that he learned his lesson, I'm working on something else haha.

[chk hrd 164]

locker room chirping is one of the things that make teams bond and become close friends. If you ever think you are high and mighty a good locker room session will bring you right down to earth. That's what friends/team mates are for.

[Leafsrule16 5]

Lucky I'm blessed with the quick tongue, i do most of the chirping in our dressing room. I agree though its all in good fun and i never say anything personal that might offend, i usally stick with a few guys i know can take it, one of my good friends cant at all we were teasing him one time about god knows what and he freaked out and woudlnt talk to me for a few days, theres a few guys who dont like it but most just laugh its part of team bonding.

[lotus 2]

One of the funnier things I ever heard was on a rec league team over the summer, our goalie who was rather awful, said he would be playing hockey for his university after the summer.

Everything goes dead silent and someone from the back of the room goes "So....is that like....one of those online schools?".

[CaptainFantastik 0]

In the locker room after last night's pickup session one of the guys said he's going to have to miss next week's rec league game because he "has to go to Amsterdam for class". Needless to say it got a reaction and provided several minutes woth of barbs.

[furlanitalia 1]

Most of the time its funny, but recently a lot of teams I've been on I haven't really known anybody, and they're usually terrible hockey players. The problem there lies that because these guys don't know the game very well, can't play the game very well, and aren't dedicated to the game, the chirping turns to racial slurs, attacking friends outside the room, other teams, girlfriends and just blatant abuse of everyone they think they're better then. You never get brought down to earth because no one in the room gets it from someone else. Really is annoying to hear, so I stick in the corner, get dressed quickly and quietly and go play. Was a lot better when everyone actually was able to play the game.

[JohnnyCanuck 0]

Most of the time its funny, but recently a lot of teams I've been on I haven't really known anybody, and they're usually terrible hockey players. The problem there lies that because these guys don't know the game very well, can't play the game very well, and aren't dedicated to the game, the chirping turns to racial slurs, attacking friends outside the room, other teams, girlfriends and just blatant abuse of everyone they think they're better then. You never get brought down to earth because no one in the room gets it from someone else. Really is annoying to hear, so I stick in the corner, get dressed quickly and quietly and go play. Was a lot better when everyone actually was able to play the game.

+1 There pal!

The Team I just abandoned was the exact same, what is it about Vancouver and these leagues with retard teams full of idiots that can't properly chirp or trash talk!?

I'm injured and have to play a lower level of hockey than I am used to while I wait for our pathetic health care system to "Get around" to fixing my ACL and performing a Menisectomy on my left knee. <_<

[furlanitalia 1]

I hear ya. Vancouver rec teams seem to be nothing but hot heads who think they can play, yet go out to slash and attach other players to make up for their lack of skill. Really is depressing when all you wanna do is play, and I've got someone twice my age with a "c" on his chest telling me to back off as he gets in my face, all while i'm trying to pull some idiot on my team out of the scuffle.

[Griff 2]

If you liked that article you should check out his blog I've been reading it for a while now, guys a pretty good writer. I think it's jtbourne.wordpress.com.

[RecLeagueHero 0]

I gotta go with leaving wives/LTR girlfriends out of it. We had a guy on the team who was 28 and his girlfriend was in her early 40's. I never got into as much as some of the other guys did, but everything was cougar this and cougar that. No matter how we broke the puck out it was "the cougar breakout." Whatever system we were running was the cougar system. It only got worse when she came to the games. He tried to laugh it off for a while, but there were more than a couple times when it was really getting to him and ended with him and the captain punching in out in the locker room.

[lampliter87 8]

I can only imagine any team's locker room with Mack on the squad.

[Ahriman 1]

If you liked that article you should check out his blog I've been reading it for a while now, guys a pretty good writer. I think it's jtbourne.wordpress.com.

I was just about to post this actually, I tracked down his articles on the hockey news (one other place as well?) and his blog and I've really liking the majority of his writing. I feel like he's expressing a lot of the same experiences and feelings about the game I've had. Granted he's played a higher level of play than I ever will.

That said I think the most memorable locker room topics that came up was 2 recent times:

First one was we had a game on Valentine's Day, like 7:30pm Valentine's Day. It's an adult league, there's two 'kids' on the team and everyone else is in thier 30s at least. We get there with about 8 guys and just say "Well, I guess this is everyone who feels like they deserve the wife they have"

And the other was when we went out to celebrate the youngest kid's 21st birthday (and my line's center) and he was talking about how we need to work on a power play and that he thinks I should score some more goals. I told him I'll start scoring more goals when he starts winning some faceoffs. Had all of us hanging on to the table to keep from falling to the floor laughing.