It happens. Don't be so hard on yourself. I can't count the number of times I've said "I'm selling all my gear" after a game or shinny. For me, when I was first starting out, I had to find that perfect development division for my skills. A level where the players were just as terrible as my goaltending skills. As someone who played very competitive hockey growing up, this was tough to make the switch down to the lower level - but it let me grow as a goalie and learn correct technique and movement in an atmosphere where mistakes were less pronounced. Have players scored directly off my face? Yeah, I think just a couple weeks ago that happened again. Confidence takes a long time to develop. Confidence comes through experience and small successes. What I found worked well for me was setting a small goal for the game. It wasn't to get a shutout. It wasn't to even win, it was to take one aspect of my game and completely nail it. For example, one of the following: - Always keeping my stick on the ice when I butterfly - Avoiding "shuffling" side to side on my knees when I damn well know how to push off with a skate and slide - Keeping my glove up, rather than down - Performing a "proper" butterfly for each time going down, and not just a flop - No 5-hole goals (you can score in a corner, but my 5-hole is mine) When I focused on a single area of performance, rather than the grand performance, I found those isolated items were progressing, and the larger grand performances were also getting better, because I was dwelling less on the bigger picture. Bad games still happen. All the time. It's the perks of the position. Keep trying, continue to improve your stretching and flexibility (I can't restate this enough), and ensure that you're giving yourself a fighting chance (play with beginners, rather than the guys who've played semi-pro their entire life).