I wanted to post some thoughts about being a hockey parent and see what others’ perspectives were. My background is I played through high school then when I came back from college played some men’s league and started coaching high school and ACHA. I eventually stopped playing and focused on coaching and then when I went to grad school and my kids were born wasn’t doing anything hockey-related. My son is 7 now and started Learn to Play this past Feb, did a spring ADM, and over the summer we just do stick time every few weeks. He is doing a camp this week, just an hour a day but the beauty is there are only 4 kids signed up and two coaches. It is worth 5x the money I paid and the main coach is great with the kids.
I am also a huge proponent of kids playing multiple sports (and multiple activities in general, not even just sports) and specializing as late as possible. I am basically a nerd and love reading up on the latest research on these topics as well.
Even given that I actively try to think this way, the reality is that you have to continually check yourself and be honest about how you are approaching your kids with regards to sports. One of the best things I learned from the U8 USA Hockey module was that the average 8-year-old’s mental maturity is 8 +/- 4.5 years (or something very close)! I see this in baseball especially. I had one kid who was physically advanced, knew tons of situations, asked me why I had player X in the cleanup spot because he wasn’t a cleanup hitter, etc. Then my son wouldn’t be paying attention to the batter and play in the dirt.
The crap I hear about from other parents is ridiculous. I just heard about a parent berating his kid as he came off the ice because he didn’t play well. This was 10U. Other kids are leaving orgs because they need to play against better competition with the Pens Elite. There is a summer full-ice U8 league. Etc.
It is tempting to push your kid too hard, despite best intentions. I kept asking my son if he wanted to go “practice his stickhandling” in the driveway. Not a real strong response to that, as you could expect. He was usually done in 5 minutes. Then he made up a game where we had to walk around and stay on the lines between the individual concrete slabs, and could only pass after answering a math fact! WTH?!?!?! But I said ok and we played for like 15 minutes because he thought it was fun. Now I just ask him if he wants to play a little hockey, or he asks me. Perspective.
Kids are going to progress as individuals. Literally, in the two hours he has been on the ice the last two days he has made these huge strides that he didn't make all spring. And I am learning a lot from watching this guy coach this age group (and stealing his drills/games!). But it takes some discipline even for the best-intentioned and informed parents to not get caught up in this race to create mini-professionals.
Both when I am coaching and when I am talking to my son after he does something sports related, I make sure to mention fun first before asking about anything specific as far as the game or practice, and I have stopped even talking about anything he could have improved on. There is plenty of time to work on that stuff later and in a better context.
Curious to hear your thoughts.