Dropping Friends From a Beer League Team

[Invert 13]

We moved up a division this session, two of the players can't hang at all. I've been approached by everyone on the team about dropping two people who happen to be my friends. Has anyone dealt with this before? I've been dreading making the phone call.

Any advice?

[RecLeagueHero 0]

There's a right way and a wrong way to approach this. I'd suggest seeing if you can find them another team at your current level in the league, so that when you talk to them you can at least tell them they have a place to play if they want. Also, don't try and pass the decision off on the rest of the team. Own up to it and use "I statements" when talking to them. The wrong way is definately to make them feel like they've been voted off the team, or to tell them they've been voted off the team. They're going to feel like they've been backstabbed, and to an extent they have been.

After that just explain that the team is moving up, their skill level doesn't match the new level of play, and they're not coming along. This is where having found another team comes in handy, because it then makes them feel like you're at least concerned about not leaving them high and dry. Best case: they are understanding, or maybe even want to remain at the current level so they don't have a problem going to another team. Of course, you should be aware of the reality that even if you do this as well as it can be done there's a very real possiblity these two guys are going to be very angry with you about this. It really could be the end of a friendship, and if that's a concern then you really have to balance out whether cutting them is worth that.

[yrhmblnr8r 69]

A few years ago a team in my league decided to cut the fat by renaming the team. They only told the players they wanted to keep so when sign-up time came, the good players were on New Team A and the dregs were left on Old Team B. It's a pretty shitty way to cut people but it became a running locker room joke.

Cutting friends is never fun. Just sit them down (in person, not on the phone) and tell them the team is moving up and you're not sure the skill level is there. You can always re-evaluate next season and maybe bring them back into the fold.

+1 on RecLeagueHero's suggestion to have a team lined up for them beforehand. He snuck that in while I was typing my original reply.

[rmnyi 0]

I had the exact same situation. I reminded everyone on the team that its a beer league. We play the game because we love it and we're here to have fun. We have a good group of guys and the players all get along. I don't believe in stacking a team for a beer league. The chemistry of the team is more important than stacking the team.

One of my weaker players did recognize that he was struggling a bit and volunteered to drop down. I kept him on as a sub so that he can still play if I'm short handed. We were both happy with the decision. And I offered his spot to a player who played with us previously. Not the best the player who asked to play with us but someone who I knew would fit in well with our team.

Just my 2 cents, hope it helps.

[fifthlinegoon 0]

If you have the time and the money stay with your current team in the higher division and then try to hook up with a 2nd team on a lower division with your 2 friends. If you can't do this you have to ask yourself, "Self, do I enjoy playing at a high skill level team or on a team with my friends"

[Jarick 5]

I can tell you what NOT to do, and that's to send out an angry e-mail saying that you are moving on and the rest of the guys didn't have the talent or determination to move up. I'd also make it a good point to thank them for showing up to games and practices, giving time and money to the cause, etc. I'm still pretty ticked off at my ex-captain who spent the whole playoffs chewing out half the team and telling them they weren't good enough, then sending out a nasty e-mail at the end of the year.

[Tikkanen 1]

Make sure you give them enough time to be able to get on another team the following season. I would imagine most rink managers know of teams who need players so I'd start there. You might also want to tell them where they need to improve their game. Most of the times I've seen this happen the players who need to get moved down are actually not helping their own game out at all since they turn into human cones who just slap at the puck as guys blow right by them. You're not going to become a better hockey player by getting torched repeatedly. It's a tough position to be in but there is a reason there are different leagues to play in.

[usahockey22 0]

It's just beer league. A team with 2 underdogs should still be fine, if they get paired up correctly and work at it. Not worth pissing off your good friends just because you want to be the beer league champion. You could suggest to them that they might have more fun playing down a level, which they probably would, and see if they go for that. Otherwise, I would just stick by the two friends, and if they're really holding back the team they will probably get the hint and do what's best for everyone on their own, without making you look like a dick.

[noodle3872 40]

This situation is exactly why I dislike playing on some adult teams; the die hard, ex-Junior legend in their own mind, now mens rec hockey playing dicks that think their shit doesn't stink ruin the FUN of playing because of their over-the-top intensity! Good lord, you're paying to play not being paid to play!

I think if these guys are your friends you should be able to have an honest conversation about the matter. If the rest of the team is united in their feelings that these guys have to go because they aren't up to their "standards of play" make it known to your friends. Personally, i think good teammates wouldn't do this to other teammates.

Mike

[stock07 1]

I agree with usahockey22...Its just a beer league..No matter how competitive you "think" the league is, its still just a pay to play league and means nothing...The older you get(I have no idea how old you are, but for guys wanting to kick guys off the team in a beer league, you are either to young and immature or those dreadful old guys that think the old weekly beer league games are the NHL) but you'll realize that these weekly games means nothing...If the guys are your good friends I would either tell the other guys to find a new team or start another team with your friends they want off the team....When are people going to realize that these weekly leagues are "just for fun" the really good players could care less about winning or losing, they just want to skate....I would much rather drop down a division and play with good people for fun, than play in a higher division with guys that think the pay to play league is life or death.....

[sectachrome 40]

I agree with usahockey22...Its just a beer league..No matter how competitive you "think" the league is, its still just a pay to play league and means nothing...The older you get(I have no idea how old you are, but for guys wanting to kick guys off the team in a beer league, you are either to young and immature or those dreadful old guys that think the old weekly beer league games are the NHL) but you'll realize that these weekly games means nothing...If the guys are your good friends I would either tell the other guys to find a new team or start another team with your friends they want off the team....When are people going to realize that these weekly leagues are "just for fun" the really good players could care less about winning or losing, they just want to skate....I would much rather drop down a division and play with good people for fun, than play in a higher division with guys that think the pay to play league is life or death.....

Yup. If youre thinking of cutting your friends from the team, youre taking it too seriously IMO.

[jcp2 2]

Who is the team captain? I would think that he/she would be the one to set up the expectations for the team. The captain wouldn't have to kick anybody off the team directly. All he/she would have to do would be to start running specific lines (penalty kill, power play, scoring, etc...). The players that wanted to be more competitive would like that. The ones who are playing for fun and beer wouldn't and then NEXT season, everybody would move around. The team would become known as a "serious" team and attract "serious" players.

P.S. It happened to one of the teams I was on. Several of us (including me) stayed at the same level and moved to a team that was more relaxed. The team that I was on got a lot better. I'm still friends with the people I know on the other team, even the captain, but he knows not to ask me to sub for any team that he manages, because the answer would be no.

[Jarick 5]

It depends on how far up or down they're playing though. We have a new guy on our team, great guy, but he's probably a good two levels below where he should be. A guy like that where he's going to just get blown away by everyone else probably won't have any fun feeling like the guy who's letting down the team all the time. But if he's maybe just a step behind, then it's not so bad, pair him up with a good D if he's back there or put him on the wing with a couple quicker guys where he'll follow the puck to the net as the third man, not so bad.

[tro 4]

2 guys can't hang 1 division up? They can't be that bad 1 div up could they?

My summer team has three old guys 45+ who are from the original team formed many years ago. Over the last 3yrs we had a "youth movement", most of our team is now 22-28, but we still keep these guys going, even as the other teams in the league get faster and younger. We have won the league 2 of the past 3 years and are still in 1st this year.

We have young/good spares who want play full time, but they are part of the team and it's beer league, so they can play until they say so, they accept that they don't play the PK and the last minutes of a tight game.

I wouldn't be to happy if my team told me to piss off because we moved 1 div up.

[RecLeagueHero 0]

I suppose dropping them is probably better than teams I've seen that shorten the bench during the 3rd period. That, to my mind, is pretty much the ulimate in prick moves for beer league hockey.

[nexusrage21 1]

I suppose dropping them is probably better than teams I've seen that shorten the bench during the 3rd period. That, to my mind, is pretty much the ulimate in prick moves for beer league hockey.

Yeah, I always go by the rule that if someone is on my team and at the game, they are going to get the same playing time as everyone else. Everyone pays the same. Has it cost my teams games? Of course, but it is fair.

[Invert 13]

Thanks for all the input on this. Even though the move is one division up, it is also summer, so all the college kids are home. I am going to send the league director an e-mail to see if any other teams are shorter in some of the lower leagues.

[Citixen 0]

I had the exact same situation. I reminded everyone on the team that its a beer league. We play the game because we love it and we're here to have fun. We have a good group of guys and the players all get along. I don't believe in stacking a team for a beer league. The chemistry of the team is more important than stacking the team.

One of my weaker players did recognize that he was struggling a bit and volunteered to drop down. I kept him on as a sub so that he can still play if I'm short handed. We were both happy with the decision. And I offered his spot to a player who played with us previously. Not the best the player who asked to play with us but someone who I knew would fit in well with our team.

Just my 2 cents, hope it helps.

It's just beer league. A team with 2 underdogs should still be fine, if they get paired up correctly and work at it. Not worth pissing off your good friends just because you want to be the beer league champion. You could suggest to them that they might have more fun playing down a level, which they probably would, and see if they go for that. Otherwise, I would just stick by the two friends, and if they're really holding back the team they will probably get the hint and do what's best for everyone on their own, without making you look like a dick.

Agreed, hang tough with the two guys, especially if you're all friends. It's only Beer League...

[simnorm 2]

What if one of those guys is the goalie?

I'm a similar situation, our office team is looking to join a league. Our goalie has been letting in 4 bad goals a game, sometimes more. I mean, he can't even slide from one post to the other on wrap-arounds.

And to make the decision even more difficult, he just bought new gear!!!

I don't see how we can win a game with him, we haven't won this year in 7 games.

[goblue9280 33]

I love going to my sons summer league mite games. He's 5 and this is his first organized team. His team is 0-9 and has been outscored 64-6 but you wouldn't be able to tell that from the lockerroom atmosphere. While the kids are happily enjoying their aftergame snacks, the parents are talking, joking and congratulating all the kids. It's a fun way to spend a Saturday/Sunday afternoon, which is what youth/beer league hockey should be about.

[sectachrome 40]

What if one of those guys is the goalie?

I'm a similar situation, our office team is looking to join a league. Our goalie has been letting in 4 bad goals a game, sometimes more. I mean, he can't even slide from one post to the other on wrap-arounds.

And to make the decision even more difficult, he just bought new gear!!!

I don't see how we can win a game with him, we haven't won this year in 7 games.

Go to a stick and puck with him and work with him.

[starsfan71 9]

Have you considered not moving up if you have a close team?

[ponty 0]

As others have said its just beer league. Either bring them up with you or cut the guys that have a problem with no matter their skill level. This is suppose to be fun ... no?

Yet another reminder why I just play pickup these days.

[RecLeagueHero 0]

Yeah, I always go by the rule that if someone is on my team and at the game, they are going to get the same playing time as everyone else. Everyone pays the same. Has it cost my teams games? Of course, but it is fair.

If I were one of the guys getting benched during the 3rd period my position would be if I only get to play 2 out of 3 periods than I'm only going to pay 2/3rds of the dues. I agree with you, it's recreation and no one would pay full green fees if they couldn't play all 18 holes. But oddly enough there are teams that consider themselves competive rec league teams. I've even been at a few stick and pucks where "try-outs" were being held for a beer league team. I personally laughed my ass off at the concept, but I guess for some people that's what floats their boat.

[Krev 86]

It's beer league. If people are complaining, they can move up a level, or pound down a few and shut their traps. Fun is what beer league is all about, and people lose sight of this way too often.