The Venting Spot

[5 Minute Major 1]

I think I found a new best friend. Haha.

edit: Thanks everybody. I know it'll be a long process, that should've started long ago, but I think I'm about ready to start seriously changing my habits to avoid any and all confrontation with things related to the past. I just hope I make it, I've certainly started trying before, but this time I feel like I'm just much more ready to try.

hahahaha... but yeah, avoiding contact was key. It hurt but it was probably the best decision I made in the process.

we actually started talking again a couple of years ago and I don't have the same feeling as I used to. Thank god! hahaha

Edited June 28, 2011 by 5 Minute Major

[trukweaz 3]

To continue with this, after calling 911 on my dad yesterday (looks like he has some sort of blockage) I went to my doctor because my blood pressure hasn't dropped down. After a EKG and blood pressure medication prescription, they want me to see a cardiologist. I am officially on the shelf for the time being, which means I will not participate in on-ice SummerJam activities next month.

Best wishes JR on a speedy recovery.

[AIREAYE 248]

Best luck JR, we're all pulling for you.

Anyone ever get overwhelming feelings of nostalgia, desire, longingness, and loneliness when thinking back to an ex gf? My first, and only, true gf and I broke up years ago (4, yes, years ago) but I've struggled ever since trying to adapt my life in a way where thoughts, feelings, or memories of her and I won't flood my mind and ruin my day. The worst part is facebook, I always see her in photos and she looks happy and shes out having good times and I see her with other guys and, to be honest, it makes me want to put a bullet through my head, but want her back even more at the same time. It's not that I lead a boring or depressing life, I just think the best way to sum it up is that whatever it is I'm doing I always seem to look in the rear view mirror of my brain and imagine how much better it could be.

We dated when I was a sophomore in college, she was a junior in HS. Sketch, I know. Everything was awesome, but to make a long and really depressing story short I started drinking that year of college and going to parties and made mistakes with other girls. When wind of this comes back around I end up on the curb alone. For two or three years (it might even be four, not sure how I feel about it to this day) I murdered myself internally everyday for breaking someone's heart so badly. For betraying her trust, for the lies that came out of my mouth, everything that comes with hooking up with someone else and then trying to cover your tracks. Even to this day I get violent pains if I sit around and, for lack of a better term, day-dream about how everything fell apart.

Her and I still live in the same area, except when she goes away to school. There are times we will talk everyday texting, but there are equal times where I will send a text and fret for the rest of the night until I give up and go to bed with all my hopes foregone. It truly is a sad state of affairs some nights. I stalked her so much that I defriended her (sorry to lose anyone not familiar with FB at this point) because I was pissing away my life looking at her profile and seeing pictures that would make me jealous, guys "writing on her wall", etc. etc. Again, sad state of affairs. While that has helped some, it has not changed the longing, the palpable desire to go out and start everything all over again with her.

Before anyone tabs me as crazy (don't worry because I do already) the girl in question plays the role pretty well. When she is home for the summer we will go out drinking at the bar or her and I will chill at my apartment or one of our mutual friends', things along those lines. So she does give me hope, she does offer me a (albiet small) reason to keep trying. But sometimes I just think she is fishing, ready to catch and release when we get too close.

I'm twenty-four now. I'm far removed from the sixteen year old boy who dated this girl. But my heart isn't.

I started playing hockey again almost immediately after the break-up. I spent ten hours a week on the ice working on my game. I've gotten far better than even I thought I would, I used to be a plug in HS. Exceeded expectations in every way. Hockey literally is an escape, I treat it as such because it gives me a sense of superiority, and the more I realize I think many of the people I skate with (pick-up) despise me for it, but it's an outlet of frustration, anger, and self-hatred. Big ups to MSH, I joined the summer after we broke-up, and mining myself into another passion of mine, gear, ice, the sport itself is a seriously welcome respite from everything. I hope everyone knows how much of a solace it is to sign on and see someone quoting me in a thread or responding to a question of mine. It seriously makes me happy.

The more I've forced myself to look at the situation the more I realize that parts of my emoting aren't under my control. As a Type 1 Diabetic (WOOT!) my emotions can get pretty out of control, especially when my blood-sugar is too high. Having your blood sugar fluctuate can really bring on a roller coaster of emotions, from the highest peaks to the saddest lows. I've decided to keep trying to get better at managing my blood sugars because not only is it important for my day-to-day life, but hopefully, to keep myself from getting to out of control thinking about Janna (yes, I name dropped her).

When we first broke-up I was so sure that, someday, eventually, we would get back together. I would sit in my parents basement (summer after college) and sulk, but took solace, HEY, she's going to get back with ME. HEY, she loves ME. This thought dies little by little with each passing day, all some-one-thousand of them.

I still go out, I lead a normal life, I even hit on girls and try and flirt with the ones out of my league, haha. It helps, but whether or not I get their number or what have you, every time my phone text chirps, I take a quarter second before looking because I enjoy the feeling I get, "Maybe this is Janna". I take a breath and look, it's not (it's usually no1 drft pck), and then the process starts all over again.

Every single bolded line...I went through the same my friend. Don't think posting here is the best idea, but I'll do it anyways.

You're not alone bud, if anything shoot me a PM and we can talk :)

I was depressed this year too, I didn't have her and I didn't have hockey. Found out she kept jumping from relationship to relationship with other guys (none of which would ever treat her as well as I did, that much I take solace in) trying to fill a void. I felt used by her, I gave her so much and I felt that she didn't give back anything in return, I was just a plaything to her. I turned to alcohol and self harm.

After a whole year of no communication (see the problem?) we finally sat down and talked. She told me what I needed to hear, that I was the only person she ever allowed completely into her life, her darkest and deepest. Real and true love at 16 gentlemen? It exists. I found out she almost went through attempted suicide one night after the breakup. I knew that she had some kind of emotional depression in her genetics and I found out from her that she has been going to professional therapy and taking anti-depressants all this time.

Both of us were really fu**ed up this year, but she more than I. Maybe there will be one day where the guilt becomes too much for me, but ultimately I want her to be happy and I know that once she leaves that house-that-is-not-a-home and goes off to university in the fall, I will be relieved.

Basically man, I know you have the strength to move on, maybe a change of scenery will help. And from this, also be grateful that she is safe and happy

I have an unconventional method for you. Listen to music, it can be therapeutic.

Please do me a favor and listen to Go Radio

Stay strong bro. Chin up cause it's all gonna clear up.

[chippa13 1844]

I know it sounds trite and cliche but you're young and it isn't the end of the world. Folks who end up with their first love or high school sweetheart are extremely few and far between. So, come on fellas, step back from the ledge and enjoy the next 70-80 years.

[AIREAYE 248]

Yessir, looking damn right forward to it. Cheers

[ktang 34]

To continue with this, after calling 911 on my dad yesterday (looks like he has some sort of blockage) I went to my doctor because my blood pressure hasn't dropped down. After a EKG and blood pressure medication prescription, they want me to see a cardiologist. I am officially on the shelf for the time being, which means I will not participate in on-ice SummerJam activities next month.

Holy cow, take it easy and hopefully everything works out for the best.

[EBondo 233]

A guy I used to play hockey with died last night...only 21. Decided to be an idiot and get behind the wheel drunk, and took a friend with him as well...why do people have to be so stupid with these things? You're not f*****g invincible people!!!

Edited June 29, 2011 by EBondo

[DarkStar50 679]

The hardest friends to lose are the ones you played hockey with. I've lost a few guys I skated with, too. Just a deep special bond among us. Sorry for your pain right now.........

[interpathway 9]

The hardest friends to lose are the ones you played hockey with. I've lost a few guys I skated with, too. Just a deep special bond among us. Sorry for your pain right now.........

Agreed. One of my teammates died when we were seventeen. Thought about him every time we played, always tapped my stick twice as we stepped onto the ice. The pain gets easier to handle, but he's always thought of when I play. Sorry for your loss.

[EBondo 233]

Thanks for the well wishes guys. He's in a better place now. Me and a bunch of the guys from the team are going to go to the funeral Friday wearing our jerseys. We figured it'd be a cool thing to do.

[skeeter14 0]

All the best buddy, they're in my prayers.

Thanks. I appreciate it. The hits keep coming, have to put one of our dogs down today.....life isn't fair sometimes either

[5 Minute Major 1]

I run a Metropcs store and it really grinds my gears when I'm trying to get the store ready for the day in the morning and a customer comes to the door 10-15 minutes before the store opens banging on the door. When the sign says 10am and the lights are off. We're clearly not open yet and will be at 10am! Let me finish setting up the store so I can open!

[5 Minute Major 1]

I'm gonna have a ball in this thread. lol

People who bring their kids should really control their kids in a store. I just had a customer who's kid was running all over the store... behind the counter and all. He was grabbing everything and throwing it on the ground while screaming. I told her to please calm her kid down and she just said, "Stop it", then proceeded to just look at the phones. I'm sitting here trying to help a customer and watching him at the same time. LEAVE YOUR KID AT HOME IF THEY ARE HARD TO HANDLE IN A STORE. IT'S NOT A PLAYGROUND!

[DarkStar50 679]

Kindly ask them to get her kid under control or she will have to take him out of the store and leave!! There comes a point in retail situations when enough is simply enough. It is not fair to the other customers that you are trying to help in a normal professional manner.

[Drewhunz 3]

There are people that have kids, and there are those that breed crotchfruit. You met the latter. Idiocracy is fast becoming truer and truer.

[5 Minute Major 1]

Kindly ask them to get her kid under control or she will have to take him out of the store and leave!! There comes a point in retail situations when enough is simply enough. It is not fair to the other customers that you are trying to help in a normal professional manner.

I had to stand there and take a deep breath to control myself. I was fuming inside.

There are people that have kids, and there are those that breed crotchfruit. You met the latter. Idiocracy is fast becoming truer and truer.

I meet at least 1 everyday at work. ugh

[EBondo 233]

Planking.

[starsfan71 9]

Heading down a pretty slippery path as of late. Got to get a grip of myself.

[EBondo 233]

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/07/03/greene.boy.missing/index.html?eref=igoogledmn_topstories

Stuff like this. This is a must-read for anyone on here. I would give my full opinion on this, but it would be too graphic for this forum. I'm sick to my stomach after reading this. How this kind of stuff continues to go on time and time again is just beyond me.

[skyscrape 5]

^ I do not even know where to begin with this one. But if you have seen the movie The Watchmen then you will understand what I mean when I say the parents need a visit from Rorshach.

[tips09 0]

2 of my buddies have gotten stabbed in the last little while, one was during the vancouver riots and the other was about a week ago at a party, he got stabbed in the neck 3 times and ended up with 60 stitches. Thankfully they are both expected to fully recover but thats just scary

[noodle3872 40]

Why is it people try to screw around reaching an agreement to buy an item?

Edited July 4, 2011 by noodle3872

[Vinny_R 1]

Got iced twice in two days at job. Not enough staff, no choice to stay at work for 8 more hours and come back for the regular shift 8 hours after... makes 5 x 8 hours shifts in 3 days...

[maxamillion 3]

sunscreen. why do I always forget teh sunscreen...

[lampliter87 8]

You're not the only one who's a little red this morning...