Best trash talkin you heard while playing?

[shotty 7]

She turns her head towards me (while on the ground) and says "why dont you just fuck me!!!". Then she gets up and starting

awesome.

during the playoffs this season (it was shortened due to olympics), we played game one before christmas and game two in january. our two teams don't really get along, so pretty much from warm ups to hand shakes, there's all sorts of trash talk. the one that shines the brightest is with one dude who has a stupid looking handlebar mustache, he hacks at our goalie's glove after the whistle, i give him a shove and he wants to start chirping. i said "i cant do this, i cant take you seriously with that mustache." which sparked a bunch of banter at the next whistle. i said "movember is over, shave it.", then i said "or just turn it into a goatee in honor of your sister" or something like that, then he says "why dont i just leave it so you have a target for your cock." this opened ALL KINDS of crazy comments about how he was offering BJs... even his teammate were like "did he just say that?" and by game two a couple weeks later the 'stache and goatee were totally gone. fresh faced.

[starsfan71 9]

In a high school Varsity game.

"My dad could beat up your dad" I kid you not

my response however was pretty good I thought

"Well yea I mean you have 2 I only have 1"

[Hockeyman9621 0]

About 5 years ago in minor midget we were sitting on the bench and a kid stops in front of the bench and he had just really old rotten skates. My buddy next to me stands up, ' Hey fifteen, I used to have those skates... and then my dad got a job.' Easily the biggest laugh I've ever heard out a chirp on a bench. Even the liney was laughing, the kid was just mortified

[starsfan71 9]

I have heard that one before.

[Hockeyman9621 0]

yeah no doubt, I've heard it many times since but it was pretty original at the time it was used. that's what makes a chirp good brother

[starsfan71 9]

Ahhh true, didn't think about it being new back then. I used to get that chirp all the time, I just told the kids to look at the score sheet, because usually the kid in the ratty skates had more points then they did. :D

[goaliemanshark 6]

Was she hot?

Well no, but she does play hockey which automatically makes her much more attractive (at least in my book).

[dumbpolak9 1]

My high school Varsity team, a freshmen chirps out

" you suck squirrel d**k"

[mug25 2]

playing in a midget game, a play from the opposing team skated up behind a kid and said "your mom buys below average groceries"

funniest chirp i had heard ever at the time.

HAAHA!!! I erupted with laughter when I read that!

[mgoblue 0]

My all-time favorite awful chirp:

A couple years back when I was 18, I was on break from college and playing in a men's league game with my dad's team. After a scramble in front of the net, a guy started shoving me in the back, to which I said, "Take it easy old man." He responded, dejectedly, "You're an old man."

Another funny thing said on the ice - I once had a team captain yell "Don't talk while I'm listening!" when he was trying to get the team quiet during a practice.

[starsfan71 9]

My team had a similar situation with our Alternate captain during an intermission. He came into the locker room screaming "Sit down and shut the f*** you Jack Knob Terriers" Needless to say we were too busy giggling to get pumped.

[legiahockey 3]

highschool-one time on a face off i asked a kid how his mom was doing...he said "better than your dad" and stuck his toungue out....

in highschool again a kid wanted to fight i guess and said " wanna go big bad mommas boy"....well i didnt get very angry and we didnt fight lol

A- mens league guy in 452's..i say sweet wheels bud...he says "sweet ass"? but gives me a good slash behind my knees. i was confused again to many more that i cant remember exactly

[lotus 2]

Kid on my team pointed out the enormous ears on a linesman.

Guy skates by the bench and stops near the blue line. The kid stands up and leans over at him and goes "Hey, Buddy the Elf whats your favorite color?"

Another one that wasn't quite as good as the reaction it caused. He called a kid on the other team a ginger... he flipped. Crosscheck to the head. 5 + a game. We were amazed, and very happy with the power play.

And then the very last time, a reff said something to our coach I couldn't quite make out, and our coach punched the reff in the face.....yeah, we have a new coach now.

[HattrickSwayze 3]

Somebody said to me the other day "Is it hard to eat with no hands?"

I couldn't stop laughing at that one.

[Stampede#11 0]

I always think what define's a good chirp is the answer you get back ....

If it comes as "F$%£ you/off" ... that is a clear victory, as the other guy can't think of anything remotely funny to say back.

I get the "your too old to play" all the time ... my answer, "not with your MILF of a mothers tits I am not" ... then the Speedboat face!

[tareatingrat 4]

Not as good as some of these, but I laughed pretty good:

Bottom of the league beer team, I'm playing with my buddy, and we're owning the other team. There's a couple of girls on the team, and while I don't mind them playing, they get away with murder.

Anyway, my buddy has a couple of scuffles with one of the girls. Nothing serious, but she's bitching at him all game because, you know, he's playing hockey.

She's yelling at him after a play, and I skate by a couple of the guys on their team and tell them to keep their bitches leashed up.

Nothing really comes of it, but after the game, we're all shaking hands, and one of the girls says to my buddy, "Good job, pussy pants."

Again, not really that funny, but at the time, I laughed like hell. And I call him "pussy pants" all the time now.

[jkud 0]

Somebody said to me the other day "Is it hard to eat with no hands?"

I couldn't stop laughing at that one.

That's a great one. I loled reading.

You can always tell a guy his girl has a "scratched visor". Meaning bad face.

Or you could say, "If you didn't have feet would you wear shoes? So why do you wear hockey gloves?"

[shifter 0]

Lol my buddies always say the weirdest chirps in game.

One time he said " I've seen better hands at No frills" probably the dumbest chirp yet and he's got this other one.

" Colton Orr called. He wants his hands back" lol

[Chadd 916]

Please remember to search before starting new topics. Merging new topic with older 7 page topic.

[adam14 182]

last game of the season, my linemate scored a highlight reel goal, and we're skating past the bench and one player leans over and goes "hey 26, you're a plug." my buddy looks down at the ice, then looks at the guy and goes "hey buddy, theres more ice build up on my stick then you've seen all game."

[goaliemanshark 6]

Please remember to search before starting new topics. Merging new topic with older 7 page topic.

Sorry Chadd! Ill search next time

[tonguesOUT4life 17]

I was playing beer league last summer with a bunch of friends I grew up with I was lined up on the left wing where the oposing teams bench was right before the blue line and a player from the other team said "hey 21!! Your hands stink!!" so I farted soo loud in his face skated away " so does my ass!!" my teamates and the refs couldn't contain themselves from laughing while the other team had priceless looks in their face. We won that game big time.

[Brian Harte 1]

There is this older guy on one of the teams we play. He ALWAYS bitches about anything and everything that happens in the game. it's hilarious.

The last time we played them, he skates by me and we're battling for the puck or something. He yells at me "HEY! AT LEAST I DON'T MAKE 9 DOLLARS AN HOUR!!!!"

LOL. I didn't know what to do besides laugh.

[powdah 0]

Was at my son's Squirt state tournament, there was an older official who was wearing those sports eye glass goggles - they were really big. There was a bad call on our team and the dad, who also happens to be a PeeWee coach in our organization, yells at the top of his lungs "Curse you Red Barron - don't take out your frustrations with Snoopy on us!" - we were all pissing ourselves at that one.

[docar15 1]

When I am playing ice, against somebody who wears roller pants, I always ask if those come in mens sizes :-).