Are you friends with your beer league team mates?

[Redhook 1]

I will be playing in a beer league for the first time in a few weeks when the season starts. I'm a "free agent", so I'll just get assigned a team. I was just wondering what team dynamics are usually like. Do people become friends? Considering you're only meeting one night a week for a game I have no idea what kind of interaction you have. Is it like seeing that guy you work with who you nod and smile at in the elevator, but never actually speak to? In the end were all there to play hockey, but was just kind of curious what your team dynamics are like. Do you all get a long, know each other, hangout, etc., or is it more like playing with some acquaintances out of necessity (you need a team to play the game). 

[marka 526]

Howdy,

I've only been playing for about a year, but I would say the answer to this question is "Yes, all of the above, depending on the team and the people involved".

:-)

Mark

[ginjaninja 19]

It's kinda up to you. There will inevitably be guys you click with, and also those you don't care for. Just give it time. In my experience hockey players seem to be more reserved. Especially with new players.

My advice, be a good teammate, pass the puck, have a good attitude, and speak positively.  

Have fun, hope you enjoy it.

[strosedefence34 175]

I think it depends on the team.  I know my team we have a core group of guys who return every season, and while we are friendly and hangout in the locker room we don't really go out after games or anything.  

My recommendation is if the guys are going out after the game go with them.  Don't be the first one out of the locker room after the game.  Bring the beer hockey players love that.  Its tough being the new guy, but I have always found if you put yourself out there people will notice that.  Doing these things will make it a much better experience for you, and who knows you may make a few new friends out of it.

[Stodgy 8]

It can be a hit or miss things with teams. The 1st team I was on was pretty lame with just locker room conversation and no post game interaction. I then got on a team that was a league start up and although we were horrible on the ice, we had great comradeship post game. We have had many guys come and go from injuries to relocation but always have a good time on or off the ice. 

Like the others have said be a good teammate, looking and listening to what you can contribute. Bringing the beer or post game snacks is always a good ice breaker pardon the pun. 

It always amazes me the different backgrounds we all come from with the common intrest

to play this great game.  Best of luck and have some fun.

[kmfdm86 112]

I was friends with a couple guys on my team before we started it up. I'll meet up with them every now and then, either to practice or for a couple beers. The other guys I'm friendly with but we never really do anything together outside of game days.

[DarkStar50 679]

Bring beer and pretzels. Everybody loves beer and pretzels. And I agree that there will always be a few knuckleheads on the team in this free agent situation that might just be impossible to get along with. Figure out which guys they are and hang out with all the rest of the other guys.

[fatwabbit 93]

Just take it easy the first couple times, and introduce yourself to the guys in the locker room. Am sure that all of them would have been in your shoes before, and will try to help you settle in. Its beer league after all, and a lot of the guys are there to have fun.

 

First season playing ice in beer league as well. Long story short, a few years ago I went to a come-and-try session for ice (was playing inline then) and met a couple guys. Didnt get to play for a couple years as we had a couple additions to the family, and when I wanted to play this year, these guys I met before invited me to play for their team. 

The team has some really great guys, and some I meet with sometimes during the week for lunch (work nearby each other). The mentality of the team is to have great team dynamics, and doesnt emphasize so much on skill level. At the end of the game, its either we head off for wings and beer, or just chill out in the carpark with beer. Also, we all take turns with the esky/cooler box, and just fill it up with ice and add whatever brew we want to it. Just have to keep in mind that some dont drink, or cannot drink (for different reasons).

 

[JoeyJ0506 192]

Yes, I can honestly say that 4 or 5 of my best friends are people that I play hockey with regularly. These are people that, had I not ended up on teams with them, I would have never gotten to know otherwise. These are people that text me during the day to ask how I am doing, keep their eyes out for cool hockey-related stuff while they are traveling or at off-the-beaten-path shops, and my wife and I go out with them on the weekends. I will say, though, that none of these friendships happened overnight, but rather over a few years of playing games and heading out to the bars afterwards (as time permitted).

I am closer to my hockey buddies then I am with anyone I work with or went to college with.

[chippa13 1844]

The first beer league me and my brother ever joined, I ended up in the wedding party of the guy who ran the team.

[beerleaguecaptain 999]

My story is similar many others...  when I joined my first team I brought 2 friends with me.  Over time the teams changed, those two friends stopped playing for a variety of reasons and I became close with several of the guys on the team.  Today one is my best friend.  We go to weddings and Bar Mitzvahs (well, they cam to my kid's...  I'm usually one of the only Jews!).  We drink together after games and have the occasional BBQ.  I met guys I would have never bet and it has been, without question, the single best thing I have ever done in my life other than getting married and having kids.

[Zylos45 118]

Through hockey...I met a fabulous wine drinking "NY Jew" by the name of David Miller that I see once a summer (4x in the last 5 years)...... but sometimes it feels like I have known him for decades!

 

 

[kclark87 28]

I just finished up my first season with a new formed team through the league Im in. Like a lot of people said its kinda mixed and kinda like work. Some people you dont really care for and they dont put in much effort to socializing. And then there will be people who you click with and become buddies with. My team has a group of us who talk a lot and hang out after games and on weekends.

So to put it short, you will get as much as you give. Hang out after games and you will make friends. If you are the first guy dressed and out, you wont.

[dlwst44 0]

On my team I came in being friends with 2 people on the team. The 3 of us started going out after the games, and got a few other guys to join us afterwards, our rink has a bar. From there, it's definitely has grown friendship wise with some folks. A lot of us are friends on facebook to keep in touch away from the rink. A lot of it has to do with how much you put yourself out there. On a side note, we won most of our games that season, and the cup at the end. Since the cup win, we've all become a lot closer as a whole. My best advice is to invite people to hang out after the game and see what kind of turn outs you get. If people come out and enjoy themselves, the team has a good chance of staying together longer. If nobody ever wants to do anything afterwards, don't bother re-upping and try with another team. It's all about the people and relationships that'll keep a team together, cause no matter what you're gonna hit a patch of losing.

[ktang 34]

In the last few years I have played on two teams that were in its 20s, so players were looking for girlfriends or getting married, another team where players were "older" and getting heart attacks / divorced / remarried, and another team that was in between - their kids were growing up. The locker room talk was the same on all these teams, just the objects of affection were different (Angie Dickinson vs Jennifer Aniston vs Katie Perry / Taylor Swift), and living arrangements (rotten roommates vs 1st apartment solo vs living with significant other vs mortgage vs empty nesting).

[badger_14 601]

I'm glad this thread exists because now I feel less like a social incompetent. :) But as a goalie I play mainly pickup, and only one of them is with a regular group.  I would say I am sort of friends with several of my Saturday folks.  They are friends with each other and several of them are academic colleagues, so it's hard to be like "hey can we be friends?" when people already have friends.  I was good friends with a teammate for a while, until he found out I was not straight, and then abruptly stopped talking to me.  More reasons not make friends.

[chippa13 1844]

One of the easiest ways is to bring a rack of beers to the pickup one night. Then guys will have a reason to stick around and conversations always flow easier with a soda or two. As for the guy who dropped you for not being straight, that is his problem and not yours.

[hunt3rsean 44]

Through a work friend I started playing ice with a brand new team about 8 or 9 years ago.  It was especially awkward for me as the team had literately grown up playing roller and ice hockey together.  So I was truly the new guy.  And now through that time I can say the "core" of that team has stuck together and they are some of my closest friends.   It may take a year or so or even may take going through a couple teams.  But invariably you will end up making friends as everyone in the room shares one thing....a passion for hockey.  Tons of good advice in this thread so I won't double up.  But did want to share my story as I started in a very similar situation.  Turned out great. 

And I may end up moving to a different part of the country.  One of the first things I looked up was if they had an adult league.  Not so much so I could keep playing hockey (which was a big part of it) but also as it's a great way to meet people and network.  A nice "ice breaker" as it were.......

[fatwabbit 93]

5 hours ago, badger_14 said:

I'm glad this thread exists because now I feel less like a social incompetent. :) But as a goalie I play mainly pickup, and only one of them is with a regular group.  I would say I am sort of friends with several of my Saturday folks.  They are friends with each other and several of them are academic colleagues, so it's hard to be like "hey can we be friends?" when people already have friends.  I was good friends with a teammate for a while, until he found out I was not straight, and then abruptly stopped talking to me.  More reasons not make friends.

What a shallow person. 

[IPv6Freely 2093]

I agree with the suggestion that if they ask you to hang out after, don't say no. When I started playing in a new league skating out this past spring I had a guy say a couple people were heading to get beer and wings and asked if I wanted to go. 99.9% of the time it would have been an automatic no because I'm not a social person (for those who haven't been to a winterfest with me yet) but for some reason I accepted their invitation. 

Not they're a couple of my best friends. Well, maybe not that close but literally the only people I socialise with outside of work or while at hockey.

[badger_14 601]

2 hours ago, fatwabbit said:

What a shallow person. 

You'd think so, and true, but it's still an real issue for many people.  The casual homophobia aside, even in happy liberal Massachusetts, a good many people are of a mind to put the beat down on the GLBT folks.  I try to keep it on the downlow.

 

Also, beer doesn't go well with 9am pickup games, but I have gifted vodka on special occasions. :D

[marka 526]

Howdy,

3 hours ago, IPv6Freely said:

I agree with the suggestion that if they ask you to hang out after, don't say no. When I started playing in a new league skating out this past spring I had a guy say a couple people were heading to get beer and wings and asked if I wanted to go. 99.9% of the time it would have been an automatic no because I'm not a social person (for those who haven't been to a winterfest with me yet) but for some reason I accepted their invitation. 

Not they're a couple of my best friends. Well, maybe not that close but literally the only people I socialise with outside of work or while at hockey.

As someone that started a little older than most here (I assume... Started at 46yo), one of the things that makes it harder is that there's a wife & kid to get back home to.  Add in that I don't drink and that "socially incompetent" thing fits me to a T.

Basically what I'm saying is that at Winterfest in a little while, don't hold my lameness against me.  :-)

Mark

[chippa13 1844]

13 hours ago, badger_14 said:

You'd think so, and true, but it's still an real issue for many people.  The casual homophobia aside, even in happy liberal Massachusetts, a good many people are of a mind to put the beat down on the GLBT folks.  I try to keep it on the downlow.

 

Also, beer doesn't go well with 9am pickup games, but I have gifted vodka on special occasions. :D

Beer always goes well with pickup hockey. Nothing wrong with a quick soda at 10:30 after a skate.

[Stewie 721]

ive only been randomly placed on a team once, that was when i started playing inline about a year and a half ago now. Not only do i get along with the guys on my team, but most guys from other teams as well. I usually hangout a bit at the rink with all them. since the first season, i have had a lot of the same team mates, and the guy who runs the leagues usually just puts me on his team.

as far as ice hockey, ive only been on three different beer league teams over the seasons, and each of them i was invited on by friends, or the teams consisted of mostly people i knew/friends. those I didnt know became friends.

[badger_14 601]

10 hours ago, chippa13 said:

Beer always goes well with pickup hockey. Nothing wrong with a quick soda at 10:30 after a skate.

My teammates want two things after hockey (usually):

1. Panera (the kids are BIG into Panera.  Their dad is ... not.)

2. More sleep

So arguably what I should do is bring donuts and vodka.  (I told my closest teammate that I would have to give them vodka bribes to let me come back after my surgery, and he said they wouldn't be able to skate if I did that.  I asked why that would be a problem for me, the goalie. ;))